Lovers Not Without Sin | Dutch van der Linde x OC

Chapter 56

It turns out Dutch needed that sleep just as much as Ada did. The morning sunlight filters through the unclean windows in the cabin, illuminating the space in a dim glow and it's the first time Ada's properly looked at the interior. It's mostly as she thought, but the bizarre sense of normality stirs in her chest in a seat usually reserved for the excitement of impending debauchery. She turns onto her other side to find Dutch on his back in a deep sleep, mouth parted slightly as he snores.

She's missed him. She hates to admit it, hates that she feels like a part of her has been severed and reattached despite the trouble he's stirred in her heart. Her independence was her prized possession, not answering to anybody but Dutch's call is always particularly loud and demanding. Perhaps her desire to keep it has clouded her judgement, nonetheless, it's still something she'll fight for. An alteration in her tactics might be necessary, however.

Her hand creeps onto his chest, pressure feather-light but rested enough to follow the rise and fall motion as he breathes. As always, he's so warm and just being beside him warms her in turn, his breath a soothing rhythm that relaxes her to the point where she could fall asleep again.

After several minutes of admiring how nice he is when he's asleep and silent, his hand rests over hers before his snores cease and he blinks his eyes awake, following the path of the hand on him up Ada's arm until he reaches her face. His expression doesn't change, but he does sigh quietly.

"I know we need to talk about this," Ada starts, "but I really don't want to."

"We don't have to," he hums, voice not yet warmed up for the day.

"Of course we do?"

"No," Dutch stifles a yawn, "you can admit that you're wrong and that'll settle it just fine."

"Oh, shut up," she scoffs and his lips turn up a little at the sides.

"Are you sore?" he asks, shifting slightly.

Ada's attention is brought to her ass, a notable sting on it but the result is more than worth the experience in her eyes. "A little, nothing I can't handle."

Dutch huffs, rolling his eyes to look back up at the ceiling.

"What?"

"You're always trying to prove something," he ponders. "I just wish I knew what, and I wish I knew who to."

"What do you mean?" Ada swallows.

"You aren't dumb, so don't pretend to be. I just wish you'd realise that you don't have anything to prove anymore."

With a short sigh, she pulls her hand from him and settles it under the covers. "You don't get it, Dutch. You don't know what it's like to have everyone look at you and think you're nothing more than an idiot."

"I, I do. I completely get that they treated you like shit. They didn't respect them and honestly, more fool them for what they missed out on. But we do," he laments. "I do. You're not theirs anymore, you're ours. Mine. You ever even thought about how hard it is for me to trust and respect anyone? Let alone a -"

"A what?"

Dutch lets out a surrendering breath. "You know what."

"Do you really still see me as a Pinkerton?"

"Of course I don't. But that doesn't change the past, doesn't change that at one point you were a Pinkerton chasing an outlaw. And with that outlaw being me, I'd say it's more than reasonable that I don't trust you straight away. Anyway, you're missing the point. If you were enough to break through that, what on earth are you still gunning to prove? I don't think you're an idiot, is that not enough? " he asks, looking back at her with a genuine, but still-guarded, expression. "You're not in a place where you're undervalued anymore. Tell me, Ada – do you think you're smart and capable?"