Daughter of Elizabeth Olsen

Chapter 20

Alexa's POV

"You're allowed to be nervous and unsure, this isn't an easy thing to do." My therapist Jane says as I look down at my hands like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

After our conversation on Sunday, mom stayed true to her word and asked her therapist who she would recommend for me to see. Which brings us to today, 3 days later, sitting in her office quite possibly the most scared I've ever been.

I shuffle again in my chair a little bit, I know this was my idea but it doesn't make it any less nerve racking. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to say." I mumble quietly. Jane sits her file down next to her and leans forward slightly.

"Okay, I'll start. I expect you to open up to me, but I'm a complete stranger, I get that. So I'll tell you a bit about myself." She suggests, leaving me a little bit confused.

"I thought you weren't supposed to tell me things about your personal life?" I question, which makes her chuckle a little bit. "I can tell you whatever I like about myself, within reason obviously. It's not a common practice but I think it helps bring down the barriers slightly." Her reasoning surprises me but I nod in understanding.

"So I am 39, I was born in a jail cell and then spent my entire childhood in the care system." She starts completely taking me aback, I have to physically stop my jaw from dropping. I thought she was going to start going on about a husband and a family and all these amazing things you would expect a well-put together therapist to have.

"I aged out of the system and put myself through a psychology degree in college and then a masters after that. It was hard work but I got there, I surrounded myself with good people, the people I chose to be my family. I worked my way right up through my last firm, I specialise in PTSD in teens and young adults, specifically focussing on childhood trauma."

"My clientele now are all aged from 13-22 and the vast majority of them are just general therapy, talking about struggles in life." I listen intently, not surprised that she came so highly recommended.

"Growing up is hard, especially nowadays, so having someone to properly talk to about your insecurities and anxieties is important. It's still extremely overlooked but I'm trying to change that. Everyone needs to be talking about their feelings more." I nod with a little smile, thinking back to when mom said the same thing.

I slowly feel myself start to relax, not completely, but definitely more than when I first came in. "Hmm, what else? Oh, I don't like the texture of watermelon, I take a picture of my hair straighteners every morning or I forget if I unplugged them or not and my middle name is Leona." Jane says teasingly with a smirk on her face, making me giggle.

"You're also allowed to laugh in therapy. Who knew, huh?" She jokes. I know it's literally her job but she clearly knows how to make sure someone is comfortable before getting into the deep stuff. It feels completely different to the general stereotype that movies and TV shows tend to show.

"What are you thinking now that you know a little about me and how I do things?" She asks me, bringing us back to a slightly more serious, but still light tone. I think to myself for a minute. "I guess it just surprised me how brutally honest you were with me, but I feel a little bit less anxious about the thought of telling you things." I admit.

"Well we do honesty in this office, don't overthink anything. This is not a test you have to prepare for, there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to your thoughts and emotions so I expect honesty from you as well. As for the brutality of it... life is brutal, there's no point sugar coating things." I once again nod back, she has a very valid point.

"So keep in mind we aren't sugar coating things, tell me a bit about you." I try to do as she says and not overthink my answers, but I don't know where to start. "Julie Andrews." Jane says randomly, I scrunch my face up looking for more clarification. "Start at the very beginning, it's a very good place to start."