Sang's Acceptance

Oh Hell Naw

I really shouldn't be surprised they reacted badly to that. I should have expected for something like this to happen. I did expect it to happen. I wanted it to happen. Why did I want this to happen? I'm not entirely sure, maybe because I thought that if I piss them off enough they'll stop with whatever this conversation is and leave me alone. Maybe it's self sabotage and I want to get hurt to feel something. Maybe I wanted to further prove to myself that I cannot trust pack members let alone alphas and this is how I subconsciously did that. Huh. Deep. That psychology degree is really paying off. That or I hit my head because I was just literally tackled to the floor.

Looking up at Axel, who is pinning my hands above my head, I genuinely don't know what to say.  This is new for me. I didn't speak more than a few words a year until recently now I can't keep my comments to myself, it was a weird transition but ya know my life has been a mess. Why am I being so introspective right now? I definitely hit my head.

Still glaring at me Axel says one word, "Speak."

For once, I listen, no snarky response, no attitude, I just respond, probably because I'm scared shitless right now and feel like that tiny little girl all over again, "I-I," I cough clearing my throat with slight tears coming to my eyes, "They're not stolen, I just got them under fake names and socials because my birth wasn't registered with the government and I needed the socials to enroll in classes." I state in a quiet voice. I squeeze my eyes and shake my head.

No.

This isn't happening again. I am a strong ass, independent woman and I am anything but a scared little girl. Opening my eyes I flip us over so I'm on top, I then stand up and try to leave the room, only to be stopped by grumpy who picks me up and holds me so my feet aren't touching the ground. 

"Let me go you grumpy bastard," I yell at him struggling out of his grip, or at least trying too. The asshole has the audacity to laugh at me. After almost ten minutes of cussing at him and trying to escape, I finally give up with a huff.

"If you're quite done," Dopey starts again, "While you were throwing your tantrum, I devised a school schedule for you, I cannot simply put you in math or English given your knowledge, so you will have each of us for at least one class, with the exception of Mr. Ravenshal whom teaches gym, in his case you will be spending his free period with him in his office as a study hall of sorts." I go to disagree but he holds up his finger, "You have made it abundantly clear that you do not want us as mates, unfortunately for you we cannot simply let you go, as much as you don't want to admit it we need each other. So your options are to take classes with us while at school, or we can simply take you and lock you up in a room now and not let you leave." he stares me down.

"Ok," is all I say giving up on this fight, I don't have the energy to kick all of their asses right now.

"Now," he claps his hands together standing up with a barely noticeable smirk that has me worried, he moves to the front of his desk casually leaning back on it. The rest of the alphas must know what about to happen because they all chuckle scaring me even more. "Due to your obvious disrespect and the fact that you clearly did not check the dress code as instructed yesterday," he looks me up and down for good measure, "I believe a punishment is in order."

I go to take a step back only to realize I'm still being held above the ground. Aren't grumpy's arms tired yet.

Stepping forward, Doc starts explaining, "We all spoke last night and realized that we could not give you our normal punishments, like staying in the cells, losing meals, etc. so after much discussion we decided that the best way to punish, you particularly, would be spankings or similar acts." He states slightly awkwardly.

"Oh hell naw," I yell trying to struggle out of Norths grip again. 

It doesn't work, instead he takes me and lays me on the ground on my stomach with zero struggle on his part, like I'm net even making it difficult for him. He sits on my legs and holds my hands behind my back. 

Suddenly, I'm back to being nine years old, held down for the first time by my father as he forces himself upon me. Struggling to get away but to no avail. Crying through the pain and he rips through me. I don't know what happened, one minute I was fine, now I'm not. I immediately start having a hyperventilating trying to push away the cruel memories. North must notice this because he lets go and gets up faster than I would have thought possible for someone his size.

The second he's off me I run to the corner and hug my knees crying and trying to stop the panic from worsening. It's not working. Nothing is working. Now there's a hand on my knee as Sean whispers to me to breathe, the second I look at him I panic more. 

"NO!" I scream causing him to jump back, "No, no no no no no" I can't stop saying it.

I say it again and again until I'm out of breath. I look down into my knees again rocking back and forth and shaking my head from side to side. I hear the door slam open and feel hands touching me again, "N-no," I scream again only to look up and find Wil. 

"It's me life-line," he grabs me and holds me in his lap forcing me to listen to his heart beat, "I'm right here, you aren't there anymore, okay? You're safe," he rocks me until I stop shaking.

"I'm safe," I say after taking a few deep breaths knowing he'd make me repeat it, we've held each other through panic attacks for years, we both know the drill.

After a while he speaks again ignoring the others in the room, "It's been a while since you've had one this bad. Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks in a soothing voice.

"No"

He waits a few more minutes, "Who did you think of that started it," he avoids out right asking what happened again, instead dancing around it to put the pieces together, I know this technique, I use it on him all the time. The familiarity calms me down and we both know it.

"Did it have something to do with this?" He growls slightly and touches my neck where the angry bruise is from earlier. I shake my head no.

"Were you held down?"

I shook my head yes, and he takes a deep breath knowing that this used to cause my worst panic attacks.

"How?" he asks fearing the answer I'm about to give.

"Belly," he growls again and glares at each of my mates.

Wil doesn't say anything else, he knows everything he needs to know, we sit there in silence for almost an hour when I finally speak up again.

"I'm sorry," I say agains Wil's chest. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for life-line," he replies.

I squeeze him again and stand up.

"Home?" He asks, I shake my head no and he nods. I give him a look to leave and he does so after kissing my forehead like he usually does after these things happen.

Clearing my throat I address the fourteen men still staring at me in shock, "I'm sorry you had to see that, it won't happen again." I say curtly collecting my book bag and make my way to my car. I grab my clothes from this morning and head inside to change. 

In the bathroom I notice the red circles under my eyes, the literal hand-print on my cheek, and the huge bruise on my neck. I almost laugh, it seems ridiculous to me, all of it. Fourteen mates and not one of them stopped to be like, "should we really be putting our hands on our mate" its fucking hilarious. 

Anyways, I splash some water on my face as the red circles under my eyes go away and change in the stall. Checking the time, I see that I have about 10 minutes before lunch is over. Looking at the mark on my face and bruise on my neck I just shrug, there's nothing I can do now, its not like I brought makeup to school in case this happened.

"I'm fine," I state looking in the mirror before gathering my stuff and heading to the gym.