Slow Me Down

Chapter 14

I change back into my normal clothes. Sylvia is in the kitchen figuring out dinner. I decide to go see what C is up to. I enter her room, set my things down, and notice that C is curled up on her bed. I hope she isn't sick. What a way to ruin such a great day. I hope she's alright. I sit on the bed next to her. I place my hand against her forehead. Damn, she is burning up. After a while of pleading with her to let me know what's going on, eventually, she relaxes her body and I can see tears. Without thinking, I scoop her up and hold her against me. I just want them to stop. I want her to be okay. I don't want to see her in so much pain.

"Foster, I like you. Like, more than like you." Before I have time to digest what was just thrown at me, she hides again. This time, instead of curling up into a ball, she stays with me. Her tiny hands clutch my shirt. This beautiful person was in so much pain, because of me? I feel her trembling. My heart aches. I pull her face away from my chest, tilting her head up so that our eyes meet. Her tears are gone, but she still looks so afraid. I inch my face closer to hers. She doesn't move away. She stays frozen, like how she was when she stood in front of the class that first day.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" I want her to want this too. I don't want her to be scared. I don't want her to cry or hurt. I want to hold her and kiss her. I want to spend so much more time together, finding ways to make this plain old city interesting. I want to keep holding hands and watching movies together. I like how we tease each other. Everything feels okay when I am with her.

"I think I would like that." As soon as she finishes that last word, I close the gap between us. Our lips moving together, it just feels right. I feel her trembling again and try to pull away, but she clutches me even tighter. Her lips are soft, and warm, and sweet. Sweeter than anything I've ever tasted before. I can't get enough of this. I nibble on her lower lip. This time when she trembles, I decide to deepen the kiss. My tongue pushes past the luscious sugary border that blocks me from exploring her further. She loosens her grip on my shirt and positions her hands at the base of my neck, resting her arms on my shoulders. My hands find their way to her waist. They venture a bit further down, to the hem of her shirt.

Before I go any further, I decide to take a step back. We break, breathing heavily, foreheads touching, her eyes searching for answers.

"Why did you stop?" She almost whines. It sounds heavenly. I rub her hips with my hands, trying to help her understand. I can't keep up with her. If we keep doing this, I will want more. I don't know if either of us is ready for that.

"I don't know if I can keep myself under control," I place my hands on the bed behind me and lean back a bit, increasing the space between myself and the gorgeous creature on top of me. She lays against my chest, drawing shapes with her index finger. It feels nice. I don't want to lose this feeling.

"It's okay," she continues tracing shapes.

"What do you mean?" I sit back up again, this time I take her off of my lap and set her down beside me. "What's okay?"

"It's okay if we stop, but it's also okay if you want to continue." I sense the hunger in her eyes. Every part of my being wants more of this, more of her. My pulse quickens and this time, I'm the one hiding my face. I don't know what the right answer is. I don't know what she wants or what I want. I mean, I want more of her, but I don't know if it's too soon. This is nothing like how it's been in the past with all those other girls. That was just emotionless sex. No talking, no getting to know each other, nothing personal, no feeling anything other than impulse and pleasure. This is new and scary and seems so fragile that if I breathe too hard it will shatter. It's terrifying.