I Saw You

Part 4

The blaring alarm in my ear this morning was amazing. Truly my favorite way to start my day. I grabbed my vape from under my pillow and headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for school. I got my new vape last night and it's a lot better. Ashley and Gina have been all over it.

Today is a pretty easy day for school. I start with painting and then I have health so it's a very relaxed morning. I feel like somethings gonna go wrong today. Something doesn't feel right. I decided that today, even though it's an easy day at school, that feeling of doing something wrong makes me want to get high. So I'm going to.

I put on a hoodie and leggings, just because I don't feel like trying today. I put on my black converse, grab my keys, and head out the door for school. I'm picking up Gina and Ashley, as usual.

"Morning!" Gina says as I get to her house. Ashley wanted some extra time this morning so I'm going to starbucks before getting her.

"Morning," I give her a little smile but I'm really not in the mood. I feel so gross today. I had to eat dinner with my family last night. Also after what happened with Andrew and his fake ass apology yesterday. Along with just my mental shit in general.

"You okay?" She asks as I pull out of her driveway.

"Yeah, just a tough week," I turn up the music after that, I just need a calm morning.

We get to starbucks and Gina offers to just go in and get our drinks so I can just stay in the car. I wait for her to unbuckle her seatbelt and shut the door all the way before I take a deep breath and finally drop the fake smile I've been holding up with all morning. Something is really wrong today. My anxiety is off the fucking charts.

I take out my cart and take four hits off of it quickly before Gina gets back. I also spray some perfume to get rid of any of the smell left over.

As I'm waiting for it to kick in I get lost in thought about how depressed I am. I mean really, how did I let it get this bad? There's really nothing I coul-

"Here you go," Gina hands me my coffee as she gets in the car. So much for my 'lost in thought' time.

"Thanks," I put my drink in the cup holder and started to pull out of the starbuck parking lot. "Can you tell Ashley we're on our way?"

"Yeah of course," Gina pulls out her phone and texts Ashley. I get onto the main road and Gina turns the music up a little more. I guess she's having one of those mornings too.

We get to Ashleys and I text her to come outside. I scroll on Twitter for a while before she actually comes out to the car. I look at all of the pictures of the skinny girls. How their hips jut out and how you can see their ribs on their chests. I look at how defined their collar bones are and how sharp their jawlines are. I want that.

"Whatcha looking at?" Gina pokes her head over my shoulder to look at my phone but I swipe up quickly before she can see anything.

"Nothing, can you text Ashley again? She's taking forever," I direct the conversation back to Ashley because I really don't want to talk about what I was looking at.

"Yeah," she texts her again and I just look out my window. I really don't like today.

*Time skip to mid-day*

It's fourth period and I have a study hall, thank god. I'm really trying to just stay in class today but it's hard.

I've been scrolling on my phone for quite a while when I hear the phone for the classroom ring. Considering I vape in nearly all of the school bathrooms on a daily basis, the phone ringing is scary.

"Hello," I hear the teacher answer the phone. "Um, let me check, Delilah Roberts?" I raise my hand slightly, just enough for him to see. Fuck. "Yup I got her, mhm, alright, have a good day," My study hall teacher hangs up the phone and turns to me, "They need you in F102," That's the social workers.