Lovely and Solitary (BxB)

CHAPTER 1

Vance's POV

Love...

A four letter that means to adore, care, or nourish someone. Everyone is running over mountains just to search for this word. Is it really worth the run?

May mapapala ba ako kung patuloy kong hahabulin yung isang bagay kahit walang kasigurahan?

Is the word Love really worthy?

I don't know anymore.

I'm a person who gave up the word "Love". I accepted that maybe romantic relationships wasn't for me.

But am I happy?

It felt like I was in the middle of a really dark forest. Where the moonlight is the only thing that shines upon me, while I'm there sitting. Waiting. Praying.

Para akong nawawala sa gitna ng gubat, naghihintay na may makahanap sakin. Kahit isang tao na susuungin ang madilim na daan para lang mahanap ako.

Para lang mahanap ako?

"Damn it! Vance blank page again?!" sermon ko sa sarili ko habang nakatitig sa blangkong papel ng notebook ko.

Kahit plot lang Vance o di kaya character arcs basta may magawa ka. Malapit na pasukan mo, AB Communication student ka Vance! Kailangan mo nang malagpasan to.

I took a sip from my Matcha Latte Coffee while I started to divert my focus to the plot I'm currently seeing in my mind.

Okay, there was a boy then there's this guy na—

Nope, this won't work.

It's been years and still, I can't get rid of it. How come a romance author is unable to write any love stories?!

I felt frustrated as I was sitting beside the window of my favorite cafe in town. Modern ang dating niya pero may pagkavintage ang vibes. May mga dekahoy na upuan, dim lights, and especially great coffee. I always get my latte here to function and hoping I can write a single word in this notebook I have. However, today is still unsuccessful.

Well, at least the music here does calm me down. May next time pa naman kaya sa susunod baka makasulat na ako.

I diverted my attention to the band that was playing a melodic song inside the cafe. Ngayon ko lang sila nakita sa cafe na to. Baka nag-gig lang sila rito. As I listen to their songs, I realize that all of them are musically gifted. Especially the guy with the white jacket that leads the whole song.

Binaling ko ulit ang tingin ko sa bintana para tignan kung naambon pa ba. Somehow the serene music and the mellow raindrops that are dropping on the glass are helping me cope with this unsettling emotion in me.

I'm sure one day that these blank pages will be full of words that wrapped another beautiful universe.
A world where my happiness could be seen.

Pinalipas ko muna ang mga oras para patilain ang ambon. I noticed that there's another band playing now. Di ako familiar sa song nila kaya naisipan kong buksan ulit ang notebook ko.

It frustrates me to see a notebook with just a "Chapter One" on it.

Maybe if I focus? Let's try it one more time.

So let's say, I have this guy, ano siya violin player. Yes, he is a violin player then yung leading man niya ay pianist. Okay, that's a good trope.

I'm glad that I can focus right now even though I can hear distant touches of laughter.

Okay, so let's just assume na ganito si bida then. Okay may plot na ako sa isip ko. I just need to write this.

"Sean's — Shit!" napasigaw ako nang may dumanggi ng latte ko at natapunan nito ang notebook ko.

Damn it. I was this close. Ang lapit ko na! Makakasulat na dapat ako. Sino bang damuho ang nakatapon ng kape ko?!

I glared at the guy who spilled my coffee.

"Shit! Man I'm sorry I didn't mean to...," paghingi ng tawad ng binatang nakawhite jacket. May dala siyang black na bag sa likod na hugis gitara. Siya ba yung Lead kanina sa banda?

Kumuha siya ng tissue sa kabilang table atsaka dali dali na pinunasan yung kape na natapon sa table ko.

I flinched when he suddenly tried to wipe my hand which I immediately slapped away.

"Damn Men! Para san yon?" aray ng binatang may hawak ng tissue.

Ugh! This again? I hate that reflex. Nagtinginan ang mga kasama niya sakin dahil sa ginawa ko.

I didn't give him a reaction. I just glared at him for spilling my coffee and my mood to write. Napakalapit ko na sa pagovercome ng kung anong pumipigil sakin magsulat pero sinira lang niya.

"Look, Kai said sorry, you don't need to be hostile dude." ika naman ng isang lalaking nakabonnet na gray at eyeglasses. May dala rin siyang black na bag sa likod.

I think this is getting out of hand. With my poker face, I stood up, picked up my bag and notebook, and then left.

I'll probably won't see them again anyway.

Naglakad ako palabas ng cafe. I can hear their distant murmur about me. As if that issues will get right through me.

It's not like I want to do that. I really didn't mean to do it. It's just—

Vance, explaining to your mind won't help your situation. They don't know what you've been through.

Nakayuko ako habang naglalakad palayo sa cafe. While I'm in a deep trance, I suddenly realized that that encounter was a cliché in romance novels. I wonder if I can write something like that.

But there's no way that I'll write for someone, especially a stranger.

Write for someone...?

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad at binuksan ang bag ko. Kinuha ko saglit ang isang libro. Bago bago pa ang cover nito at may plastic cover.

"I miss writing novels." I said while looking at my published novel, "Ang Hindi Masabi"

Sana masaya na sa buhay yung rason kung bakit ko sinulat tong libro na to.

I was once a writer who write stories made out of love. Naging love language ko na siya since then. Every time I fell in love, I will make a story with the idea of them. Love is my inspiration in writing. I can't complete a book without getting inspired by love.

Pero ngayong sinukuan ko na ang salitang "Pag-ibig". Simula noon di na ako nakakasulat ng mga nobela. Kahit galing sa imahinasyon yung storya, tila nawawala lahat ito kapag isusulat ko na.

Nakakalungkot pero ganoon talaga. May mga bagay na dapat tanggapin nalang kung ano sila.

It is what it is.

Nagpatuloy na ako sa paglalakad para makasakay ng jeepney at umuwi.

Since malapit na ang pasukan namin sa College na papasukan ko. I need to write more, I need to overcome this. It's now or never.

I'm going to write again.