Heir of Dreams and Princess of Light

Chapter 3: The Brother and Sister

"I'm so sorry, Estelle." 

"I don't care." 

"I just--" 

"I don't. Care." She'd keep saying it until they believed it. Maybe even until she herself believed it. 

"Yes, you do," Reave sighed from where he sat on Estelle's bed, his eyes on her as she lay curled on top of her covers, still in the same clothes from the night before. "You care. You care about everything, sometimes too much. But about this, you care the right amount. You're allowed to miss him, you know." 

Estelle snorted unkindly. "Like you care at all. You tried to fucking kill him." 

Reave visibly winced. "That was a mistake. I was wrong. He's-- he was a good person. I was sorry to see him go. Him, and the rest of the Prythians." 

Estelle didn't know how to reply, so she didn't. She just wanted him to go away. But Reave was stubborn. He'd refused to leave her alone since she'd returned to her room the night before, empty and wrung-out. 

"Estelle... I know I did things. Bad things." Reave bit his lip, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "To you, and to him. But..." He sighed, leaning forward and propping his chin in his hand. "You were happy. I could tell, Mother could tell, everyone could tell. You were happy in a way I've never seen before." 

"I'm not happy now," Estelle said dully, eyes on the wall in front of her. 

"I can see that," Reave replied dryly. "What I'm trying to get at is, I guess I get it. Why you were so angry with me when I... um, hurt him. The way he looked at you... I always saw it as a threat. A threat to who you are, and what we have as a family." When he paused for a long time, Estelle turned her head to look at him. 

"I only realized yesterday." He finally said. "He looked at you the way Father looks at Mother. Like you're someone he would die defending." He raised his eyes, twin to their mother's, to meet Estelle's. "I was selfish, and stupid, and I'm sorry for the way I treated him. I wish I'd gotten the chance to tell him myself." 

Estelle swallowed. Gods damn him. She just wanted to wallow in self-pity and sadness. Instead, her brother had to go and be all noble and sweet. She sighed, sat up, and pulled him into a hug. 

"Ack, this isn't what I wanted," He tried to protest, but she held on despite his squirming. 

"I forgive you, little brother," She told him, squeezing him tightly. "And thank you." 

Reave stopped trying to escape. For a moment, she thought he'd push her away, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. "I'm sorry he's gone. I know you miss him." 

Estelle swallowed again, trying to hold back the tears she'd managed to stop. "I'll be fine." 

Reave sighed into her shoulder. "Okay. Whatever you say." 

There was a knock at Estelle's door, and Reave instantly jerked away from her, as if embarrassed by the fact he'd been embracing his sister. Estelle couldn't help but laugh at him, and he gave her a grudging smile that she returned.

But her smile faded when Aelin's voice came from the other side of the door. "Estelle? Can I come in?" 

Estelle cast a panicked look at Reave. His brow scrunched in confusion. 

"You don't want to see her?" He whispered. Estelle shook her head emphatically. "But she's our mother. She just wants to help." 

"I just... can't. Not right now. Please?" Estelle begged. Reave bit his lip, but nodded and started toward the door. Estelle flopped back down and turned over on her bed so her back was facing the door. She heard Reave open it, but didn't move.