before this.

04. ( mb )

TITLE : letting go
DUO/COUPLE : moonbae ( jacob+kevin )
GENRE : sad au
WORD COUNT : 646 words

—— 🌧

"i'm done— we're done. this relationship? kevin we're done!" was ringing in kevin's head as his eyes hurt from all the sobbing he had done the night before in his bed. his body felt numb as he walked towards the bathroom and nearly bawled his eyes out when he saw how the bathroom looked nearly so empty without his ex boyfriend's stuff scattered around the place.

his heart throbbed and trashed at the sight of the two rubber ducks with their stupidly matching bae + moon initials. he shut his eyes but nearly felt him cry at the sight of his eyes.
just dark, large and ugly staring back at him.

kevin hated himself for this mistake.
he hated himself so much.
he always told himself nothing would hurt more when you've always felt numb all over in your whole life.

this? this was much worse. more worse than having shit friends or having multiple bullies on your tail as you tried to walk home safe.
kevin's grip on the bathroom sink loosened— making him crash into his knees as the salty tears rushed down his cheeks like waterfalls rushing to meet with the floor or like how a heavy rain splatters itself onto any solid.

kevin hated himself for some many things.
he hates himself for not being perfect for the love of his life— jacob bae.

• • •

jacob wasn't doing any better too. he sometimes finds himself touching the side of his bed to try and find kevin but only brings his hand back to him as he realizes the big mistake he made.
sometimes he would stare at the moon because of how much the two mentioned being the polar opposites of each other.

kevin was the moon that shined in the darkness— in jacob's darkness— usually that's how the late night conversations go before they switch to maybe jacob's the sun because he always seems to light up kevin's days more.
or they were both, they didn't know.

they were so happy.
what made them so distant that it drove jacob to madness and make the biggest mistake he regrets?

jacob knows— but tries to deny it each time it's brought up. he's in denial just like how he was in denial when he was finding out he liked kevin.

those two years were quickly thrown into the trash weren't they?

jacob groaned— whenever he walks up, kevin would usually make them both breakfast, eat together, laugh together over the stupidest things before leaving for work.
the older wasn't gonna experience that anymore.

his apartment was lonely— too silent to begin with. there were paintings made by kevin and it broke his heart to finally understand what the young artist's paintings meant.

there's one— where two figures stood in the middle of thousands of flowers blooming as the sun was setting in the distance. he understood.
their first date in a pretty flower field with the sun setting over their heads and with the brightest smiles, they shared their first kiss together as a couple under the colored sky.

he runs a hand through his hair— letting go is safe.
they were too focus on each other that it was unhealthy— they relied on each other too much that it hurt just like how it hurts right now.

jacob whispers himself, "maybe.. in this life.. the sun and moon weren't meant to be— but fate.. please let kevin moon and jacob bae meet in another life or in the next life and love each other till the end."

maybe in a alternate universe— they were so perfect for each other unlike now where they were so addicted to each other— they were broken without each other.
that wasn't healthy.

"please, take care kevin—"
"please.." the tears finally ran down.