The Complete Works of Lady Oakenshield's Adventures

Chapter 15 -- Dragons and Dungeons

"Apparently I did not make myself clear," Thorin bellowed as the knocking continued on Lady Oakenshield's door. "I said the next time someone knocked on Lady Oakenshield's door I would reach through the keyhole and yank them though it." "I'd like to see you try," came Gandalf's voice. "Oh, uh, just a minute, Gandalf," Lady Oakenshield stammered. She grabbed her dressing gown as she threw Thorin's at him. She sweetly opened the door. "Come in my friend. Tea, wine?" "Nothing thank you." He sauntered in as Thorin walked past him into his own chambers, grumbling. "Good Morning, Thorin. On your way to Justice session?" "It appears so." Thorin slammed the door.Gandalf let out a wizardly laugh. "Now my dear Lady Oakenshield, what shall we do today, you and I? I am here to entertain you while our Dwarf King keeps his mind on dispensing justice. Would you like to go to Rivendell?" "Oh, well, that would be lovely. Do I have time for a quick bath?" "You do. The eagle will be here in a hour. I expect to see you up in the Pavilion in less than an hour. Kiss Thorin, take a bath and be ready by then. Do not be late." He turned and left whence he came. Lady Oakenshield frowned. She'd not planned on actually going to Rivendell. She walked into Thorin chambers. He was standing there still in his dressing gown with his arms crossed, staring at nothing. "What did the old magician have to say?" "He's taking me to Rivendell to keep us apart until Justice session is over." "What? He can't do that. You'll stay right here so I can see you if I so desire." "That's our problem my breath of life. Our desire. Apparently our desires have gotten in the way of your job. The dungeon is getting full of dwarves waiting to be judged guilty or innocent. Some have been waiting a long time. We've been neglectful to our subjects. So today you will empty or fill the dungeon with your judgments and then we will be together tonight." "Very well. Will you help me with my tunic and robes?" He started to drop his dressing gown to show off his breathtaking nakedness. She grabbed at the edges and closed them. "No. You are quite old enough to dress yourself. If you are not, I will call Spakla. I still have to get a bath and dress myself within the hour." "Do you need me to wash your hair?" He started to drop his robe again. "Will you stop, please." she smiled. She started back into her room. When she got to her door, she turned to him and dropped her robe. "I'll see you tonight then." She closed the door behind her. "You'll pay for that!" was all she heard as she walked into the bathing room. "Who's next?" Frerin was enjoying himself immensely. Thorin was sitting behind him watchful of any mistakes in judgment. So far he'd made none. Frerin hope next time he could do this alone. He didn't need big brother watching over his shoulder while he decided the fate of a few miscreants. Up to now, he'd only dealt with petty criminals. He was ready for some meatier decisions. "Thorin, I think I can finish off these misdemeanors and get to the felonies before lunch. Why don't you take a break and go see Lady Oakenshield?" "She in Rivendell with Gandalf, he muttered. "Just keep at it. You're doing fine. You don't have to hear all the charges. Listen to a couple, and make a decision. Most of the time, they are the same petty crimes repeated over and over. Criminals aren't very smart. No imagination." "You're right about that. Once a thief always a thief. They don't change their fur. Although a couple of those pickpockets would have stepped up a bit had they not been caught. Nasty sorts. Still, I think they would have just gone from pockets to homes. "Let's get on with it. Balin, have the guards bring in the next group."Balin lifted his staff and hit the floor with it three times. The room went silent. "By the word of Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thoror, come forward and be judged innocent or guilty. Let no one be judged by means of revenge, malice, or deception, lest he who is guilty of falsification be judged in his stead." The guards brought in five Dwarves, four males and one female. The males were docile and walked with their heads down. She was ranting and spitting like a wet warg. "Let go of me you son of an under cooked Orc! I ain't done nothing wrong." Frerin turned and smiled at Thorin. "Maybe I should judge her first. Get her out of here. "Do as you wish. I'm only here to advise." Thorin yawned. "A little excitement around here might be nice." "Okay, my dear, umm, lady, what brings you to Justice Session?"The female Dwarf stepped forward jerking her arm out of the hand of the guard. "Prince Frerin, your Highness, I wasn't doing nothing. I was just standing in front of the Museum when this Dwarf came by and asks me if I want to go have a bite to eat. Well, I was hungry and I saw no harm in it. We went to the Hungry Duck and had bite and a beer. That's when the trouble began. He thought I should pay him back for my meal by going upstairs with him, begging your pardon, if you know what I mean. I said I wasn't that kind of girl, and he said I owed him, so I beat him senseless and ran. That's when these idiots grabbed me and threw me in the dungeon with these idiots over here. She curtsied, fell over, picked herself up, and retreated a few steps. Frerin turned and winked at Thorin. "Not Guilty. You may leave with a warning. The next time someone invites you to have a meal, ask them what the price is before you say yes." She looked at him. "Really? You're not going to throw me in the dungeon forever?" "No, I hadn't planned on it. Now run along. I'm very busy with real criminals."She curtsied, fell over, picked herself up, and ran as fast as she could down the carpet. When she got to the door, she turned around. "Long live King Thorin, long live Prince Frerin!" Then she fled out the door.