Grace.

Chapter 14.

Naomi is terrified of the lightning and thunder. She once told me that long time ago, she was hiding under her bed in her room because the lightning was just insane that day. Edgar knew this, so he came to check if she was all right and found her curled up under her bed.
"Okay. Come on out, kiddo. It's okay. You can come sit with me in my room."
I low key feel like he was also afraid of thunder storms. She said that in his room the lights were off and he had scented candles lit up instead — scattered all over the place. According to them, the scent and the dim lighting was calming. I found it hard to believe until I experienced it first hand.
Edgar switched off the light and lit his scented candles. The only scent I recognized was vanilla. It wasn't too dark but it was cozy. The sound of rain from outside just made it more soothing.
"Mimi was right," I said.
He chuckled and disappeared to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of wine. Classy. I was expecting vodka.
"She told you about our little secret, huh?" He smiled.
"She tells me everything," I teased.
I knew he'd react and he did. His eyebrows raised up but he quickly acted normal again, trying to hide the fear.
"Only the good things," I clarified.
"Oh? Such as?" He raised an eyebrow, handing me a glass of wine.
"Nothing I didn't already know," I sipped.
I kicked off my shoes and took a seat on his comfy couch. There was a throw nearby so I took that too and threw it on my legs, making sure I was properly covered.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked.
I lifted up the other end of the throw for him to sit. He rushed next to me but was careful not to get too close. My legs were crossed on his couch as I enjoyed the delicious wine.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure."
"I came back to town months ago. I didn't tell my family or anyone because I was still finding myself. Still healing."
"What happened?"
"Amber. She was my girlfriend from high school. We left this town together, went off to college in the city and we were so happy. At least I was. I planned to propose to her a week before graduation."
"A-and did you?" I swallowed.
"I did. I proposed but she said no. Turns out she wanted to try new things. Love other people. Be away from me for a while."
"I'm sure that was not it."
"Those were her exact words. She was seeing someone while she was with me. I-I couldn't believe it," he chuckled. "I was the first guy Amber was with. She...she was you back in our days. Beautiful, smart."
"W-what changed?" I feared.
"I don't know. But you know what I promised myself?"
"What?"
"I made a promise to myself never to look at another girl ever again! I was done. Done until I turn forty or something."
"Damn, she broke your heart."
"Into a million pieces. I was dead inside. My heart was ice cold."
"Was?"
"Yeah. That...that was until a few days ago."
"What happened a few days ago?" I quizzed. My heart raced! Did he meet some girl? Who?!
"I saw an angel, and the sight of her just made my heart...beat again," he confessed.
He sounded so cheesy! What in the world?! Did he charm girls with those stupendous lines? Pshh. Puh-lease! He probably got that from some silly old movie. Somebody slap me! I need a huge punch to my throat!
"Please play some music," I smiled.
"Stardust?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "Yesterday I was the color blue."
"My favorite one," he smirked.
Track seven. It was in their fourth studio album. Stardust was a band of middle aged men who wrote the best love songs. Yesterday I was the color blue was my most favorite one. It talks about a man whose life completely changes at the sight of a woman he'd just met. Her face and her smile gave him reason to live again.
The man was suicidal and his world was dark and gloomy. He'd always long to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some sort of hope and eventually he did. In one line he says how her soul was as bright and warm as the sun. How, whenever she was quiet, she was like the moon shining upon the sea. A sea filled with the reflections of the stars.
I always dreamt that someone would feel that way about me. You know, something like: "her scent was as alluring as a freshly sprung flower."
I don't know. I'm not good with poetry. It wasn't necessarily the words that got me. It was the thoughts behind those words. He really thought of her majestic and amazing! To say such beautiful words!
"Dance with me."
My mind was gone. I was gone. But as soon as I felt his warm hands on mine, I came back. He held my gaze. He held me. Was he feeling it too? The beauty of the song? It's instruments. The vocals. The mood it set. I laced my fingers with his, and he pulled me closer to him, hugging my waist. I lost all sense of logic under his intense gaze.
"This song...it was like it was written for you, about you," he purred.
"I don't think I could ever mount up to the girl it was written for. She sounds like she was quite something."
"You're quite something. You're...hypnotic. I'm weakened by you. Your eyes. Your voice. I've never stopped thinking about you."
"Is this a dream?"
"I can feel your breath on my skin. Can you feel mine?"
I most certainly could! That as well as the heat from his body!
"Y-yes...why would you think about me?" I wondered.
"Because my heart hasn't stopped racing since that morning I saw you in that car."
I was dreaming! That or the wine was pretty strong! What was happening?! What in the actual hell was going on?!
"Edgar, what are you saying?"
I was puzzled. One moment we were talking about the past and Naomi, the next, he was telling me how he's been thinking about me?! Does that make sense?
"You said Naomi told you things about me that you had already known. What are they?"
We were still slow dancing to the music. His musk made my blood burn. I was so close to him I could see the veins on his neck. His skin was glowing and...was he even blinking? Was I drugged? Why couldn't I make sense of what was happening?! I melted against his strong body feeling his heat seep through my skin.
"I uh, I think it's time for me to go."
Saying those words was like stepping out of a crowded room. As much as it would've made my day to stay and talk, I didn't like how things were going. I was so confused. I had never imagined being alone with Edgar but I was so sure that it wouldn't have gone the way that it was going.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He worried.
"Edgar, I...I just want to go home," I stressed.
"Whoa, wait. Did I do something to upset you, Grace?"
Yes!
"No." I sighed. "I just have this terrible headache all of a sudden."
"From where I'm standing, you look really disappointed and annoyed."
Observant, I'll give him that. He was right, I was disappointed. So, I decided to talk to him. I sat back down on the couch and he followed suit.
"The past couple of days have been really cool. We've gotten along so well so far," I started.
"I agree."
"Like really well. We've never kicked it off like this before."
He looked confused and I didn't want to go into detail because that was embarrassing.
I sighed, "You are asking me to stay and offering me wine and a dance to one of my favorite songs. Honestly, I feel like you're...seducing me. I don't know! It just, it feels so wrong and this isn't how I imagined you'd be!" I finally said.
"Go on."
He didn't look angry or annoyed. He was actually listening to me. I wanted him to know how I felt but I had to do it in a subtle way. It was too soon and I didn't want to ruin the connection I thought we had.
"The Edgar I remember was kind. He was selfless. In my eyes he was caring and thoughtful. I'd hear the stories about you but I'd pay no attention to them. When you were at home, it was hard to see you in that light. When you were around your family you were the son who did his chores, took the trash out, opened that hard jar lid, cleaned the pool...and the brother who was always there for his sister. And not just her, her friends too. Just like the other day at my house. That's the Edgar I know. Not this one."
I averted my eyes from his and focused on my fingers. I could feel his eyes on me.
"Can I ask you a genuine question?" He muttered.
I lifted my head up to meet his eyes again, "Sure," I whispered.
"Do you see me as a brother to you?"
"N-no. Not really. Why?"
He hung his head and fidgeted with his fingers like I did. "Have you ever fallen for someone you were not supposed to fall for?"
"I have," I confessed.
He lifted his head up and looked at me again.
"I have. I did," I repeated.
"And what did you do?"
"Well, I'm still in the process of figuring that out...right now," I realized.
His lazy eyes widened up a fraction before they took shape again, "Me too," he muttered.
"Conundrums," I chuckled.
"You're the first girl to tell me how "selfless" I am. It's usually, "Edgar, you're an asshole!" And then she'd walk away, stomping her feet." He chuckled, imitating a girl having a mini tantrum.
"You're so foolish," I laughed.
"I'll take it. So, w-when did you start liking boys?" He asked.
"You sound surprised."
The mood was back to normal again. Our normal normal. Us matching each other's foolishness and slight mockery. You know? The teasing, the jokes and sarcasm. Stardust was still playing softly in the background and each song matched the energy in the room.
"I remember you talking about the perfect love story. Your perfect love story. And if I recall, it was meant to happen after college?"
"Yes, you're right. I feel so stupid for thinking that I'd go for so long without falling for at least one guy along the way."
"Don't. You've always had these big dreams. Not everyone has those, most of us are scared and don't have much faith in ourselves. Besides, you were only thirteen, so, don't beat yourself up too much about it."
"Still, it's like...I've failed myself," I admitted.
"Grace, this is life, something we have no control over. Hey, look...have you changed all your other plans?"
His question made me realize something. It made me see how my crush on him was just a small bump on the road. It's not like him and I would become a thing. Not with Lucy and Naomi around. Look, I admit, it would take a while to get over him seeing that I was going to be seeing him around more often, but it wasn't the end of my dreams!
"I just realized something. My dreams are still valid! They could still go on as planned!"
"How so?"
"I like the guy, but that doesn't mean I have to do something about it." I shrugged, confidently.
"That would mean you don't really like him. It's not easy getting over a crush, especially if you have to see them all the time," he opined.
"Well, my crush comes with a lot of drama so...I've got more reason to flee and move on with my life, as planned." I took another sip of wine and sunk back onto the couch.
Edgar looked at me with a frown on his face, "Who is he?"
"I'm not telling you that!" I snickered.
"Why not?"
"Because it's confidential stuff!" I cried out.
He leaned back onto the coach as well, our heads facing each other. His hands were resting on his stomach and I was still holding onto my glass of wine. I took the opportunity to study his face: mysterious, dishy. His long eyelashes batted slowly as he blinked. A strand of curly hair fell to his face, right above his left bristly eyebrow. Black, shiny hair.
Edgar was definitely born in the wrong era. He was more like your James Dean or Johnny Depp. A face and attitude perfect for the 80s. His eyes were dark and mesmerizing. Looking at them was like being up in the early hours of a summer morning. Laying on your bed with the windows open, and the breeze hitting on the curtains giving you the most relaxing feeling. The early hours of the morning where, everything is quiet, everyone is sleeping and the world is silent. And in that moment and that moment only, everything just makes sense. Everything feels better. I felt so relaxed next to him. Sipping on some wine and just looking at him.
"What are you thinking about?" He muttered.
"Nothing," I lied, in a whisper.
He reached out for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Everything is going to be okay. Promise me you won't stress yourself about it?"
But was it really? I didn't see how I was going to be okay with casually seeing him as though nothing was wrong.
As though I didn't want to be in his arms. As though he wasn't part of my dream once. As though I'd never thought about the possibility of an "us". Because I did. And in my head, it made perfect sense. And as I sat beside him, it felt so right. I was comfortable. I was myself around him. Sitting up, I placed the glass of wine back onto the table before turning to face him again.
"Edgar," I heard myself say.
"Are you okay?"
He quickly sat up and moved closer to me. I slowly ran my hand up his arm all the way to his shoulder, and for some reason, he moved even closer to me. My eyes moved from his, down to his lips and then back to his gaze. I proceeded to cup his face and I could see him catch a breath under my cold touch. Pulling him closer by his neck...I kissed him. Luckily for me, he responded!
My mind went into a frenzy! His lips were so soft. I could feel his other arm hugging me by my waist. He pulled me in so close to him, my breasts were pressed against his chest. I threw my other arm around his shoulder and drank him in. I was so caught up in the moment that I don't remember how long that kissed lasted, but it left me breathless.
My heart was pounding in my chest. With both my hands now on either side of his neck, both his on either side of my waist...we pulled away. Faces inches away from each other. We had to catch a breather and only when our eyes met did reality hit us.