Grace.

Chapter 29.

Senior year wasn't going as I had hoped. That frustrated me. I mean, everything went well and as planned all those other years! Why was my last year of high school fighting me! No, seriously! Senior year and I butted heads more times than we got along! Was school not prepared to let go of one of its most brightest students? That I could understand. It was bitter, and I totally understood why. Looking back, I couldn't see any other student who would fill my shoes. I was the last legend.
As we sat in class, learning, the intercom went on. It was Principal Davis. She wanted to see all of us in her office when the bell rings. What the heck was it now? Bebe looked at us with wide eyes.
Lucy leaned in closer to us and whispered, "What in the hell is it now?"
"Something tells me this is all about Luke," Donna sighed.
"Or, she's finally realized she's wrong and wants to apologize," I thought.
We shrugged and continued with the lesson. When the bell finally rang, we followed each other and headed to the office. Walking in, we found her busy with some files. "Take a seat," she said, her back faced to us. She finished doing what she was doing and then sat down. "Girls," she started. "I take it you all have an idea as to why you're here?"
Lucy shook her head, "Luke. Obviously." She rolled her eyes.
"Mr. Rogers has come to me and asked what I am planning to do to you girls for attacking him on school grounds," Principal Davis disclosed.
"So, you're just gonna listen to everything he says? Jump, how high?" Naomi raged.
"Miss Hall has come to me about you, Miss Sanders. She says you have a rotten attitude and I can see what she was talking about," Davis retorted.
"So, why are we here, Miss Davis?" Lucy chimed in, peeved.
"All four of you will be reporting to the school gymnasium every afternoon starting tomorrow for clean up. You will scrape all gum off the bleachers, mop the floor and clean every single window. Do I make myself clear?"
What did she mean all four?
"I do not follow. What do you mean 'all four'?" I spoke.
"Naomi, you, Lucy and Donna," she answered. Brooke sat up on her chair, "W-What about me?" She asked, perplexed.
"Mr. Rogers has mentioned how good you are at History. He's asked me not to place you into punishment but to assist him with extra lessons rather...every after school."
"What?!" We all shouted.
"Girls, the only thing I want is to see my students getting along and helping each other. I have agreed to this request because it will help all of us. Plus, Mr. Rogers could really use the extra lessons."
We shook our heads in disbelief. That asshole! "N-no, Ms. Davis. I can't. Please don't let me do it. Please!" Brooke begged.
"It will only be for a few weeks, Brooke. And I was telling you, not asking."
She dismissed us and we stood up to leave. Instead of heading to class, we went to the bathroom.
"That raggedy street rat! He's doing this on purpose!" Luce fumed.
"Bebe can't do these extra lessons alone with him," I worried.
"You're right about that," Luce agreed.
"I'll ask Caleb to join us. It's a bad idea but it's the only way," said Bebe.
When the bell rang for after school, our group huddled by the parking lot. We stood by Hunter's van, he hadn't arrived yet.
"Principal Davis is messed up!" Caleb spat. "Right?! I'm starting to hate her," said Lucy.
"I am definitely joining in on those extra lessons," Caleb went on, as he threw his bag in the boot.
I could tell with the expression on his face that he was really pissed. I was honestly so tired of Luke. The guy was a pain in the butt! I just wanted to go home. All the clubs I took were enough stress for me as is! Now I had to clean up the gymnasium on top of that?! Bull!
"Naomi, are you ready to go?" I asked Mimi. "I'm actually leaving with Hunter," she said.
My eyes grew wide, "O-Kay."
Wait a damn minute, were they...dating now?
"I'll ride with you, Grace!" Josh chirped.
I was still a tad bit annoyed with him. Lucy was going with Donna and Brooke with Caleb.
"Okay, Josh. Ready to go?"
He quickly hopped in and closed the door. On the way to his house, we chatted.
"I saw that, earlier," he revealed.
"Saw what?" I asked.
"Your eye roll. Did I do something? Say something?"
"No," I sighed.
"Well, even though, I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Fine. I didn't like how you just assumed that I like Ethan," I told him.
"Because you don't. Right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."
"You're being sarcastic, I'm not dumb."
"It's because you're lying to yourself. What are you so afraid of? Is it his reputation? Are you embarrassed about that?"
"Can I tell you something, Josh? But you've got to promise you won't tell anyone."
"I cross my heart."
"I'm kinda like, seeing someone."
"From school?" He whispered. He was so floored, he repositioned himself on the seat to face me.
"No, not from school," I flustered. What was I thinking?! Was I even thinking? My relationship with Edgar was meant to be a secret!
"Do I know him?"
"Not really."
"Okay, so?"
"So, I don't know how to feel about it. It's my first relationship and I don't even feel excited. It's not because I'm not into him, it's just that our situation is complicated. Like really complicated. I don't know if I should go all in or..." I spilled.
"So, if you're not one hundred percent down with it, then why are you doing it?"
"Because I like him. He gets me and he's amazing."
"Okay. If you're really into him, then at least give it a try. Block out all the negative things and focus on you guys."
"That's another thing, Josh. I don't know if I should go all in. Like with...having sex. He says he's okay with us not doing it but I know he's lying. And to be honest, I want to, but I don't want to end up regretting it."
"And that scares you?"
"Only because I'm not ready for it, but I want to be with him, but to take things slow."
"Well, what I can tell you is that if you have second thoughts then you shouldn't do it. Being intimate with someone is something really...different. If you long for the person with every breath in you...you'll do it. You won't hold back, you won't think about it, you'll just jump straight into it."
"What do you mean?"
"If he's the guy you really want to let in, you would've known it. You would feel it right now. Do you feel it?"
"No. I have imagined it though. Sleeping with him. I pictured it all."
"But in reality you're still holding back. Don't do it, Grace. My advice to you is to not go through with it. You've stayed a virgin for so long. Let your first time be worth the wait. There is absolutely no reason to rush."
I cringed in my seat, but he was right.
"I honestly hate the fact that my friends can't seem to keep my virginity a secret," I scowled.
"Yeah, that's very childish of them but, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's your body, sister. Do with it what makes you happy."
I listened to him and couldn't help but think how right he was. I was all about doing the right thing. It's protected me from a lot but I couldn't do it my whole life. Edgar was a real special guy and I was really into him.
As promising as it all seemed, there was no telling what the future would bring. We couldn't stay hidden forever. Someway, somehow the truth would come out, and that would never be good. As hard as it was on me, not sleeping with Edgar was the best option.

Gloria had been having late study sessions for days! Finally, she got a day off and decided to come study with me for a change. Gloria had always been so serious about school and her studies. She always encouraged me to study for at least an hour a day. We'd do this together. Usually, it would be in my room. Gloria was on the floor with her books spread out in front of her and I, was on my bed laying face up reading a book that hung above me.
Although the book was staring at me in the face, I wasn't really reading it. I was thinking about my life and how quickly and unexpectedly things seemed to be happening. My phone kept buzzing with messages and I occasionally attended to it.
"You know the rules, Grace. No phones during our study sessions," Ria grumbled, her face focused on her book.
"Sorry, Ria."
"Switch it off. They can wait."
I switched the phone off and tossed it aside. Trying so hard to read the book in front of me, I became restless. I kept reading the first line of the paragraph over and over hoping that with each time, I'd develop some interest in what I was doing.
My mind was occupied with everything else besides what's important. The main thing on my mind was my virginity and sex. It's something I had never dwelled into because I was always so sure about what I wanted.
But suddenly, I was more confused than ever. It was so easy to stay grounded when I had no guy in my life. Now, I had Edgar and I really liked him. What I did know was that I wanted our relationship to grow, and as it grew it would go through stages. Sex being one of them.
I decided to put my mind at ease by asking my sister. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I needed to get clarification. I needed to set my mind free from all those thoughts.
"Hey, Ria? Can I ask you something?"
With her eyes still glued on the book, my sister replied, "Sure. Anything."
I sat up straight, "It's- it's not about school," I mumbled.
Gloria looked at me over her glasses. The look on her face said it all. I had better be asking her about something serious.
"Uh, how was it like losing your virginity?"
"What?"
"Please, Ria. I know it's something you don't want to talk about, but I need to know."
"Why?"
"Out of curiosity. I'm seventeen, Gloria, not twelve. Of course this kind of thing will cross my mind."
"Why is it crossing your mind now? You're in your final year of school. Thinking about sex is what's top priority in your life right now?"
"I swear, Mom is way more chilled than you. I'll ask her."
"No, no. I'm just trying to get you to see and know what's important. I'll tell you what is was like, but only if you promise me that from now on, you put important things first."
"I promise."
"Fine. It was scary. But I wanted to do it because I really liked the guy and I thought he was the one," she disclosed.
"Was he?"
"Nope. Just another asshole."
"Ow, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It was a lesson learnt. I'm not the only girl who's come across a jerk and I won't be the last. What I do regret till this day is not waiting. I mean, after I gave myself to that idiot, I met Daniel. At least he stayed. If I had lost it to him maybe life would have been better."
"Ah, I see. That sucks."
"Why? Are you thinking of having sex? With who? Aren't you single?"
"No. No one and...yes."
"What? You're not being clear, Nora. You know how I hate that."
"It was just a question, Nina."
Whenever Gloria called me by my second name, I knew she was vexed.
"Look, I don't want to fight with you. In fact, I'm not ! I just want to know, as your big sister. If you aren't telling me, then who else are you telling? Don't tell me your friends. They're probably rooting for you to lose your virginity because they already have and they feel shitty about it."
"Ria!"
"It's true, Grace. They probably hate you so much for being the wiser one. You're not like them and that's what will always set you apart from them. They've seen the consequences so you have to as well. It's how girls are. The sooner you learn that, the better."
"Well, it was just a question and for your information, I'm being wise...always," I assured.
"I love you so much. And between me and you, I wish I had a bigger sister to be brutally honest with me, but I don't. I didn't and I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. I don't want that for you. You're so special. You deserve the world. You're more of a woman than I could ever be and I'm so proud of you, okay? So, take these words to heart and listen to me when I tell you that, the only time you will give yourself to a man is when he sweeps you off your feet on your honeymoon, on the first night you two share a bed as a married couple. Do you understand me?"
"And what if I don't get married? What then? Die a virgin?" I prodded.
"That's not such a bad idea. Sex isn't even that great. Your body will long for it at first, but after that? It's just the same. The moment doesn't last and you feel so dirty afterwards."
"That's a lie, Gloria."
"Okay, fine. If you have it with an asshole that's how you'll feel. Don't do it."
I looked at my sister and smiled. She gave some very valid points. So, having sex with Eddy or any other guy for that matter, was off the table. Until marriage? Sounded easy enough. I mean if Edgar really liked me, then he'd wait. He'd wait and he'd marry me. Although I wasn't certain if he's the one I'd spend the rest of my life with. Only time would tell.