Harpers pov:
I woke up the next morning not wanting to get out of bed. So I read for a while. I love to read. It's so calming.
About two hours later, I check my phone:
Ash: sorryyyy I can't hang out with you today :( I have to go and do 5sos stuff at the studio. And I probably will tomorrow too :( depending on when I finally get out I'll msg you and see if ur still up? <3
Me: yeah that's fine ash lmao! Yeah sounds good and have fun <3
Ash: this is so boring. I'd rather be touching you ;)
Me: omg. Get back to work XD
I spent the remaining hours of the day reading, writing and then walking.
The day after was pretty much the same. And the day after.
On early Friday morning, I woke up around 4am from another nightmare about my dads death. And wouldn't sleep again after.
So far this week has been utterly shit.
I'm just hoping that ash would be off work today. I think I might need someone. I have a bad feeling.
At about 8am, I decided that it wouldn't be too early to text ash, and literally say what's on my mind. People say that it helps.
Me: please say you're free today lol, think I'm going to need someone.
Ash: im so sorry baby, I asked to get off and I can't :(
Everything okay?
Me: okay dw, and yeah im fine
I turned my phone off and decided I should probably get some fresh air.
I went for a long walk around the quiet parts of the town, and it rained. Then at about 10, I decided to slowly walk along the beach, in the now clearing foggy rain.
As I walk, I hear someone say something.
"Oh my god! It is really you! Harper eilish," I turned around to face whoever it was. Fuck. It was the person who made my life living hell. Olivia colman.
I quickly turn around and start walking.
"Where are you going sweetie?" She said in that belittling tone. "Running off are we? Off to Ashton? Yeah I saw you two kissing. You do know he doesn't actually like you?"
"Th-that's n-not true," I stuttered, like I always do talking to people I'm not comfortable with or when I'm nervous.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
"Oh b- b- but it is, you see, he only feels sorry for you. You have no one. He would never like someone like you. I mean look at him. He's hot, so so hot. You're just, the opposite. You're fat. You're ugly. You're boring. You're clingy. You're worthless. That's why no one likes you. Not even ash, it's obvious. Why else would he not want to be with you right now?"
I feel myself panic more as her words begin to hit me.
Breath, I hear Ashtons voice in my head. Usually it would calm me, but not this time. It made it worse.
"Please just leave me alone," I whispered before running away.
As soon as I got home, I locked myself in the bathroom. I took out my razor. I got out the blade, and stared at it for a while, before digging it in to my wrist. Twice for Ashton. Once for Calum. Once for Michael. Once for Luke. Once for me. Once for Olivia. Once for my mum. Once for my dad. 11 cuts. That's how many I did before crumbling into a pile on the floor, panicking.
Ashtons pov:
The whole day, I couldn't concentrate on work.
I think I'm going to need someone. Was harp okay? God I hope she is.
The second we were done, I called her. The more the phone rang, the more worried I became.
"Hey, don't worry I'm sure she's fine. She might just be getting dinner or something," Luke reassured me. Calum gave me a really worried look. After the other day, I think he's probably guessed about her mental health.
She didn't answer any of my calls that night.
Luke offered us all to sleep at his, I didn't want to, but the boys all talked me into it.
YOU ARE READING
REGRET (Ashton Irwin)
FanfictionAsk anyone. In school my best friend was two years above me, yet we were ALWAYS together. That was until I had to move. Everyone said that he was lost without me. I guess I'll never know how he felt, I just know that I was lost. I had never made a...
