SYNC-NATION

EPISODE 8: DANCE LESSON

[open scene at Liz holding the camera selfie angle]

Liz: Annyeonghaseyo, and welcome to my dance studio!

[camera pans around to show a large bare room with a mirror on one light-blue-painted wall and a dance bar lining the opposite wall with a small corner cut out for music playing equipment. There are two small windows covered with blue curtains on the left-hand wall and the back wall is decorated with framed headshots]

Liz: today, I have been challenged to teach the squad how to dance! *sighs* this is not going to go well, is it?

[camera cuts to the same scene with Liz standing in the middle of the room instead of holding the camera]

Liz: now, I wanted to pick a dance choreography that wasn't too hard, so I went with the classic Bon Bon Chocolat by EVERGLOW. Here's the official choreography linked below:

Liz: yeah, not too bad, is it? I think it only took me a few days to learn this one by myself. Anyway, let's see what the squad thinks.

[Ali, Ana, Cho, James, Lia, and Markos enter the studio]

Markos: how long is this gonna take? I got a business to run, people.

Liz: not more than... an hour? If you all behave.

Cho: c'mon Liz, when do we not behave?

[Liz and Lia exchange pointed looks]

James: I don't like the fact that Liz and Lia are both in athleticwear while the rest of us are just wearing whatever and we're in the dance studio

Ana: I see where this is going...

James: can I DJ instead?

Liz: nope! I need y'all to dance!

James: dammit...

Lia: c'mon, it's fun! And exercise is good for you!

James: I get plenty of exercise! It takes a lot of energy to count how much cheese is in my collection! And to keep it all away from the rabid chicken that Ali's been trying to tame!

Ali: why do you even have a collection of perishable items that could be mistaken for chicken feed?

James: some of them are older than you are, so shush.

Markos: doesn't seem food-safe to me...

James: I thought you were on my side! Some people are just so uncivilized...

Liz: *bonks James on the head with a blue yoga block* shut up, y'all really eating into your time right now.

Ali: fine...

Liz: I will now assign roles. Luckily, there are six members, and six of you guys! It's almost like I meticulously planned this out or something!

Ana: what about you?

Liz: I will be taking on the role of the esteemed Kim Lia, choreographer.

Lia: hey... that's my name!

Liz: not anymore. Anyway, Ali, you will be E:U, the shortest one. She's got the long blonde ponytail in the video and is wearing the big black jacket with white stripes.

Ali: hey, I don't always have to be the shortest member!

Liz: using similar logic, Markos, since you are the tallest, you will be Aisha. She's the one with the brown ponytail in shorts and knee-high socks with the red shirt thing tied around her waist. She's my bias, so don't do her dirty here.

Markos: I'll try... I think.

Liz: Lia, you will be Sihyeon, our queen leader, the one with the adidas sweatpants and checkered black-and-white flannel around her waist.

Lia: sweet, I already got the 'fit on.

Liz: Cho, you will be Yiren, cuz both of you are the youngest. She's the one with the long brown hair and is the only one wearing all black with no jacket and nothing around her waist.

Cho: aight.

Liz: Ana, you'll be Mia. She's the one with the light pinkish hair and the red flannel around her waist.

Ana: nice, I can work with pink.

Liz: and James, since you're the only one left, you'll be Onda, the one with the high brown ponytail and is wearing the same flannel that Mia has.

James: wow I feel so important...

Liz: take it up with Yue Hua Entertainment. I'm gonna start playing the choreo now, so get to your starting positions!

Cho: do I have to start on the floor?

Liz: I mopped it yesterday, you're fine. Be glad we're not outside in the mud.

[as the dance lesson progresses]

Ali: hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this! *proceeds to trip over herself and fall on her face*

Markos: this hip move thingy is impossible! And my wrists don't bend like theirs do!

Lia: haha, you're getting old and arthritis-y.

Markos: *grumbles* I know that...

James: these pants I'm in are really not good for all this...

Liz: as I always say, if you can walk in them, you can dance in them!

Ana: I think we're all off rhythm...

Lia: most likely.

Cho: please tell me those cameras are not still recording...

Liz: *shrug*

Lia: c'mon guys, it's not that hard. You're trying too much.

James: not my fault they and Liz make it look effortless. Besides, my hair isn't long enough for me to dramatically flip around like in the video.

Markos: what even is this song about? And why do they keep going like nanananananannanana— NA NA NA NA—

Ali: bon bon chocolat... it's French! I know French!

Ana: no, it's Korean, obviously. This is a k-pop song.

Ali: that isn't what I meant! *trips over herself again*

Cho: uh-oh, someone's been having too much cocain juice again.

Ali: nooooooo you have no proof!

James: this is torture...

Ana: why are we learning this anyway?

Liz: because in today's political climate, it's only a matter of time before you're trapped in an enclosed space with a flash mob and the only way to escape is to successfully dance your way out, lest you get torn to pieces by their very synchronized and well-manicured hands or trampled by several hundred pairs of feet stomping perfectly in tempo. I'm teaching you guys vital survival skills right now! You'll thank me later!

Everyone: ...

Liz: also, it's funny to see everyone who's not a dancer struggle.

Cho; that's... everybody

Liz: precisely! Take it from the top, everyone!

James: ugh... I need my cheeseeeeee....

[cameras cut]