anxious and alone |dnf|

the beginning

Dreams POV:

"Alright, I think I'm going to sleep now. Thank you guys for all the donos and subs, I really appreciate it!" I yawned. I'd been streaming for 6 hours, playing a variety of games from Minecraft to Geoguessr. Chat was spammed with "NO" and games I should play instead of leaving.

"Dream and I will be streaming tomorrow on my channel later in the day. We will be playing bedwars and are going to get back-to-back wins!" George boasted. Chat said their goodbyes and I ended the stream.

The room was almost fully dark, the only light being my monitors, though I had a pounding headache between my eyes. It was close to 3 am and there was a storm outside, rain rapidly bounced off the windows and thunder cracked every so often. I turned everything off and walked over the piles of clothes on the floor to my bed. I know I should clean up, I'll do it soon.

I had texted George asking if he wanted to facetime, 15 minutes ago. We were just streaming... I wanted to believe that he had just fallen asleep but all I could think about was the possibility of George all of a sudden deciding to hate me and wondering if he just chose not to answer or block me, not wanting anything to do with me anymore. It made my heart feel heavy and my stomach burn.

I lay in my bed, the blanket falling off the edge and my clothes sticking to my sweaty body. The screen of my phone lit up beside my head, George replied by saying he got caught up with editing and simply didn't notice the message. I didn't have the energy to look, whether for George or not, my head felt like it was being hit by drumsticks and whacked by a mallet. My eyes felt heavy but I wasn't tired.

I rubbed my hand against my forehead and gripped my hair, groaning. "Please stop," I whispered, rolling onto my side. George texted again, "We can facetime now if you want?"

But now that I had thought about it, I didn't want to. I don't want George to see my messy room or unmade bed, my hair is greasy and my clothes are old. He'd think I'm lazy and gross. I told myself.

"I'm just going to go to sleep." I replied. I turned off my phone and placed it on the side table, flipping over to face the wall. Every time I closed my eyes I saw George. He always had a smile on his face, so big that his eyes would be closed except for this time. He looked different, his smile was gone and his eyes were filled with disgust. I couldn't wake up this time.

All George was doing was staring at me, not blinking or saying anything, just staring. "George, what are you doing?" I asked, standing up and walking over to him. I felt that I was so close to him yet with every step I took he was further away. The setting changed. We were in my room. George stood in the middle of the room while I sat on my bed. George now said stuff like "You're inert, it's gross." and "How can you live like this?"

It may not have seemed like much but it meant everything to me, every word that was said shook and deeply rattled my body. Tears slid down my chin and onto the mattress. I never wanted George to think less of me, I only ever wanted him to see me as put together, responsible and okay.

A frown grew on my face as I curled myself close, hugging my knees. George paced around the dirty floors listing insults and naming things that made him hate me. All he did was talk and talk and talk about anything that he knew would be cruel. I tried again to go up to him but this time he pushed me to the floor. I fell into a large pile of old clothes, which opened up and consumed me. I was falling into a dark void that seemed endless, George staring down at me with an evil smirk.

Everything finally went blank and I felt my frown soften as well as the grip on my knees.

Hours and hours went by. It went from 3-8 am, then 8-2 pm, and I finally woke up at 7 pm. The rain was back. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, my headache still appearing at certain moments. I turn my phone on while walking downstairs to the kitchen. As my notifications load, I grab a glass of water and take small sips of it.

George had texted and called me what had to have been 30 times. The stream. "Oh shit."

~

Heyyyy!!!! Thank you for reading the first chapter of my first book!

I really do appreciate you for taking the time to read it!!!!!!