A bunch of horrible people

Alex's side

(Alex's pov)
I gently kissed Ethan's cheek. I knew he secretly didn't want this but I knew he wouldn't stop me. I gently grab his face and squish his chubby cheeks. He kind of flinched and looked absolutely annoyed and suddenly hit my hand.
"Stop it." Ethan said.
I ended up stopping. Seeing Ethan looking at others made me so angry though. I want him to just look at me. I should make him beg for the drugs, that'd be fun. I'm unbelievable jealous. I want Ethan and I want Ethan to want me. Why doesn't anyone want me? I have everything.
Ethan now looked at me with a neutral look. I smiled at him but he already looked out of the window. Why can't he just look at me. Why can't he look at me the way he looked at me when he stalked me.
"Ethan, we should take a day off tomorrow and go out."
"Sure. Bring something okay?"
I knew he meant drugs. I took his arm and dug my nail into the part where we always injected drugs in. He bit his lip which made me even more eager to hurt him.
I decided to stop when Ethan gave me this look of desperation.
I seriously don't know why I act like this. I guess I've always been quite jealous when others touched what belonged to me but I never thought I'd feel like this about a guy like him. He wasn't my type whatsoever. Sure he's tall but he's so chubby and weird. But he has a charm in some way. The way he hides his body and the way his weirdness is covered by silence made him mysterious in a way. I didn't know shit about him actually. I don't even know his favorite color.

We got off the bus and had a usual work day before leaving home and having some sex before sleeping. It felt as if we were an unhappy married couple.
While Ethan was sleeping I gently traced circles on his arms. I took off my glasses and cuddled up next to him.
Hours passed and I couldn't sleep and instead just watched Ethan's stomach and chest rise and fall as he slept. I liked him. I just don't know how to express it. The only way I can kind of show it is with my obsessiveness and with drugs. I know for sure Ethan has mixed feelings about me. It's so nice and warm in the apartment. Since I couldn't sleep I got up and went to the small balcony. The cold wind immediately hit my face. Its ice cold. I went for a smoke and kind of just watched the cars pass. I must've woken up Ethan because he suddenly stood next to me and leaned against the balcony's railing.
"Hey Alex I think I'm gonna move in back with my parents." He said.
"What?" I immediately felt my heart sink. He can't leave.
"Listen Alex I think I dont want to take drugs anymore. It's ruining me. It's making me angry for no reason."
"Ethan you're talking nonsense." I said and grabbed his face. "You're mine and I'm yours okay? We need each other. If you wanna stop taking drugs then that's amazing but no need to move out." I kissed Ethan. I slid my tongue against his closed lips, basically begging to be inside him. He slowly opened his mouth and I pushed my tongue inside his mouth. He smelled like toothpaste. His saliva is so sweet.
Ethan had to basically bend down in order to kiss me and yet I felt so much taller than him right now. Whenever I was with Ethan I had a song in my head and right now it was puppy love by Paul Anka. We didn't exactly love each other but I'm pretty sure at some point we will be able to love each other in a normal way. And if we can't do it I wont let him go either way.
We kept kissing but at some point I felt really cold and Ethan carried me inside as if I was some cat. We continued kissing inside. It was dark and the only light sources were the street lights and the moon.
Ethan slid his hands under my shirt. His hand is ice cold so I immediately got goosebumps. He slowly began touching my chest as if I were some girl.
"Ethan are you thinking about Mary right now?"
"No." Ethan's voice was so soft because he was tired.
I didn't believe him but decided to let him continue. He continued to touch my body and I enjoyed every moment.
"Alex let's go sleep okay?" He suddenly whispered.
"Sure." We went to bed. Well he slept but I didn't.