heartsick | junhao

19

junhui and minghao stood on minghao's doorstep, hugging for what felt like hours.

however, even hours wouldn't be enough for them.

"okay, well... i'll see you later," junhui said, beginning to pull away from the hug. minghao pulled away as well, tears staining his cheek.

"were you crying?" he asked, immediately beginning to wipe away the youngers tears. minghao sat there and let junhui do so, not being able to find it in him to say anything. "i'm not leaving, not forever."

minghao began to unlock his door and before he opened the door, he kissed junhui lightly before leaving him outside.

-

junhui wondered around the streets aimlessly, his mind fuzzy due to the alcohol.

he eventually crouched down beside an empty appearing building, he watched as people walked past him throughout the night. he thought multiple times he should get up and make his way home, but he never found it in him to get up.

he watched as a group of boys walked up to him, appearing nice. "are you sure it's him?" he heard one of the boys ask, the words sounding fuzzy and unclear.

"do you want to come to my place? you seem too drunk to go home by yourself," one of the boys offered, holding his hand out as he grabbed junhui's wrist and helped him up, patting his back as he did.

he was too drunk to decline, and at the same time he didn't exactly understand the question. so he nodded his head sloppily and let the boys lead him to their place.

once he went inside the house, they set him down on the couch and surrounded him. "i'm positive we have the right guy," one of the boys said, pulling out his phone and showing the others a picture of him. "should we do it now? or in the morning?"

"now. he'll be sobered up by morning,"

-

junhui was shoved against a wall, he hissed in pain as he grabbed his shoulder and began to slide down the wall, being stopped halfway as he was grabbed by his collar and punched multiple times.

he was finally thrown on the floor once he couldn't fight back. "grab your phone, record this," one of the boys said as he pulled out a box cutter. "we'll show this to minghao,"

once they were finished with him, they threw him aside like a piece of trash and all went into their rooms all while laughing.

junhui laid senseless on the floor, choking back sobs as he was scared to make any noise and make them mad. everything in him hurt.

-

minghao laid in his bed, his arm behind his head as he scrolled through his socials whenever he got a notification from an unknown number.

he hesitantly pressed on the video that was sent, to see junhui getting hurt in various ways. the text underneath the video read, "you knew this would happen, right? you're not safe either. come get him in the morning, you know where to find us."

minghao's eyes widened as he sat up to go to the apartment. it was his old friends, he knew it had to be. no one else would do something as cruel.

the message said to get him in the morning, but no way in hell was he gonna leave junhui in that place until morning. not if he could help it,

minghao beat down the door until somebody opened it. he was relieved to see junhui, even though he was limp and bloody, he was alive.

minghao rushed to pick up junhui and shut the door behind him, carrying him to safety.

-

he sat in junhui's room beside the latters bed. he could now finally understand the fear he felt whenever minghao was in the hospital.

junhui laid asleep, a thin blanket covering his fragile, still slightly trembling body.

hours later, junhui woke up and immediately demanded for minghao to leave the room. "i think we should take a break," is all junhui said,

"no," minghao responded, trying to grab junhui's hand, but his hand was quickly taken away.

"leave."

minghao exited the room, tears filling his eyes as he exited the doors. he understood junhui was having the hardest time right now.

minghao was also beaten up, but he didn't go through the same stuff junhui did. junhui was beaten up, but also taken advantage of. instead of being abandoned on the street, he was locked up inside an apartment building where no one could find him.

whenever minghao reached his home, he took out a pen and paper to write to junhui. he tried his best not to let tears fall onto the paper as he wrote, he didn't know how long it would take for junhui to read the note, but by the time he did, minghao would be gone.

during the night, minghao quietly walked into junhui's room, sliding the note in between the snacks he had given him.

before the walked away, he took one last look at the boy he loved so dearly. it pained him that he wouldn't see him after this, but he knew deep inside it was all for the best.

-

junhui woke up the next morning, his heart still beating fast from the night before. he had been in this situation before, but it still affected him.

but of course, the events that happened this time were far worse than the last.

junhui looked at the bedside table to see his favorite snacks along with a note in a pretty envelope.

his shaking hand reached out for the note as he carefully opened it. the note read,

"i'm sorry for what you've gone through; and i seriously hate myself for all the stuff you have gone through because of me. because of everything that's happened, i live with the anxiety of it happening again. i can't let myself stay by your side with the fear that it will happen again, even though i want to. maybe whenever we're adults, and i've matured we can see eachother again. hopefully you will have forgiven me, even though i know i can't forgive myself. i'll never forget the day we met, i'll never forget the unconditional care you gave me even whenever i wronged you. all i can do is ask for your forgiveness and patience. thank you for being with me even whenever i didn't deserve it. you showed me there was good in the world and i thank you everyday for that.

until then,

- minghao."

junhui's eyes swelled with tears as he read the note. his face scrunched up as he clutched the note to his chest, aching sobs escaped his mouth, filling the entire room.

he knew he would have to say goodbye, but he never knew the goodbye would be so painful.

and everyday, he'll wait for him. everyday, he'll continue to love him.

until then, this is goodbye. until then, he'll stay heartsick for the same boy he fell in love with.

— end. —