Mostly because dead people don't talk back

17: Dissect

[A/N: There was so much potential for angst when writing this one. ALSO! THERE IS A PLOT! And it is MOVING!]

Time is a fragment of humanity's imagination. It is a concept that comes from the people of the earth, trying to count and make sense of anything that they know. Time is fluid and it is continuous and constant, days after days after days. It is chaos and orderly all the same.

Time is fluid and it is continuous and Merlin hates that. If he could wrap his hands around time and snap it, to change what has happened, he would. But it isn't brittle or any object that he can see and touch. Even he cannot yield it.

He's tried.

A day ends, but the rest of the world— Earth— continues. The trees don't need years for life, though the seasons pass by and take and give leaves. Animals eat and breathe and drink, with no concept of the rules of men.

Merlin did something that he will regret with his entire self for the rest of his eternal life:

The king's infinitesimal life ended by his hand.

.oOo.

Uther, even when basically close to death for over a year, does not miss his son's birthday celebrations.

Arthur knows that his father cares for him, he does. Though he knows they are different, he just thinks about his father caring about anyone at all and– well. That had sparsely been him. Always Morgana and always Ygraine.

He'd earned his father's tears through near-death situations but endured tough love, responsibilities, and discipline before anything else crossed his father's mind.

Even if he resents some things about Uther, he was his only father. He had been his only living parent. He was grateful for Uther. But, Uther being the one to raise him scares Arthur.

He is now alone in taking the throne, without a guide. Moreso now, he is held accountable for what he does and how he acts, so what habits from Uther were good or bad?

.oOo.

Magic users live with risk. They fear being exposed every day. So, when Arthur showed feeling toward magic in a way that was not in contempt or hatred, Merlin took the opportunity.

If he didn't, then who knows how long he'll spend the rest of his life hiding. He had to try.

And trying... failed. He failed Arthur. Merlin killed the king.

He only thinks of what could have happened: Uther lives, and then what? He would have been revived by his sole enemy. Gods know that Uther's heart would not soften to the face of magic because of his fear of the unknown.

Kindness may only harden the hearts of the unyielding.

Merlin hopes that he hasn't grown rigidly or unkind in his fear.

.oOo.

He didn't know.

He didn't know what happened.

It was supposed to work– magic was supposed to work! It was the last thing that he bargained on and he had trusted it. Arthur had trusted the sorcerer to keep his word!

And he, Arthur, had promised Dragoon that magic users would no longer have to live in fear. Would he keep his side of the bargain when the other side has failed to keep it, or would he let his father's death swerve him in the midst of becoming king himself?

He had looked for what was true, before.

When his father reigned for himself, Arthur knew one thing: magic is evil. Then Morgana left and Uther's diligence fell. When Uther became a shell of a man, Arthur knew two things: There was a reason why Morgana changed. Secondly, magic, in some form, had helped.