Smoke and Mirrors (DE)

38. Welcome home

" Good morning honey," Amelia smiled lifting her vintage Versache frames to look at Grace as Grace walked through the open corridor of the massive Spanish villa into the backyard where Amelia laid out on one of the many white day beds that lined the crystal waters of the infinity pool, soaking up sun. It was no wonder Amelia's coffee bean colored skin was so gilded and rich and beautiful— she got to do this everyday.

" Good morning," Grace smiled softly, her voice soft and delicate.

It had been two days since she'd been in Miami, and though their home was ready, Joseph felt it to be better to stay with Amelia and Al so she wasn't alone. Amelia and Alvaro treated Grace in an odd way like they've known her her whole life— it felt as if Grace was being forced to stay with a distant relative of the family over summer break from school. Though she didn't know them all that well it wasn't uncomfortable, and Grace appreciated them for opening their beautiful home to her.

Grace hadn't spoken to Joseph at all since she'd been there besides through Alvaro. Joseph tossed her phone into the east river on their way to the air hanger that night. The whole first day she was in Miami she stayed in her guest room to herself, not eating. She'd been experiencing an unspeakable amount of grief and the weight on her shoulders felt stupendous; not because Malik died— but because she was the one that killed him.

The grief was the part that nobody talked about and it was eating her alive from the inside out. Everything happened so quickly she didn't get a chance to speak with her mom or her girlfriends or even get to take many belongings. The night itself has become a blur at this point and she can only recall bits and pieces but having studied the human brain, she knows that's her minds way of protecting its self from trauma.

Paired with being away from Joseph in an unfamiliar setting, it was making it all the more harder to deal with. Grace just wanted Joseph; she wanted him to hug her and hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay because she trusted him— she knew he would make everything okay because he always did.

But in a strange twist, the situation from the other night left Grace feeling like she understands Joseph more now. She feels braver now having done something she never thought she was capable of doing; but when pushed to that point the mind only has two natural responses— fight or flight.

Grace took a seat in the day bed to the left of Amelia's with a book in hand. It seemed as if reading was proving to be her only escape of entrapment from her own intrusive thoughts but Grace didn't mind because she organically enjoyed reading.

" You're glowing today," Amelia commented making Grace look up from her book with a small giggle.

" I am?" She asked, unsure of what that statement meant. Grace however did take pride in her extensive skin care routine and spends copious amounts of money on products and facials.

" Yes, how are you feeling?" Amelia asked turning her head to look at Grace whilst holding her hand above her face to shield it from the bright rays of the sun.

" I'm—," Grace paused thinking about how she really felt. " Okay," She lied. In fact, Grace wasn't okay, she felt like she was going crazy keeping everything bottled in but that's what she thought she had to do to be strong in this situation and not show just how badly it was bothering her.

If she allowed her mind to become too unoccupied she could start hearing the ringing in her ears after she fired the gun, and feel the tingling sensation in her nose from the smell of the gun powder. She could still see the way Malik slumped over and the way his eyes glossed over once his soul left his body. She'd seen countless photos of dead bodies and crime scene photos working in the department but there's nothing that can prepare you for seeing one in the flesh.