𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧

⋆↟•─────⋅☾³²☽⋅─────•↟⋆

I personally think his POV is the reason why I'm alive. He's just so wholesome. Even I don't believe I created him from my own mind that can't even think of a maths problem for three minutes or it'll explode. It's mind-blowing sometimes.

~~~

Levi 》

Here i thought one of the hardest things I went through was my grandmother's death. Turns out, it was nearly a piece of cake compared to having to distance myself from Blaire and push her away. Getting a taste of her really made me realize just how much i was giving up just by being me. I wanted to stay like that forever, but i didn't have that luxury, and all i got was a few seconds. A tiny taste that isn't enough. So fucking far from enough, it's disgusting how much i want to relive it or at least just peck her lips again.

It's like the forbidden fruit. I hadn't realized the appeal until I was forbidden from tasting it.

This is stupid. I understand the pressure of overwhelming, but this is on an entirely new level. A level of self control I don't think I have in me. If I continue to blindly follow my heart, this won't just end terribly for me, it'd be incredibly deceiving for her. No lust inside of me is strong enough to convince me to hurt her. I won't make a move on her, even if it kills me inside to see her slip away from me.

It would be nothing compared to what she would feel if she finds out about me and Nonna. Every time I imagine what she'd do when she finds out the closest people to her aren't even human. Not a single positive outcome is in sight.

That's why I didn't push anything with her. It felt...wrong. I wanted her to be comfortable around me and I kept the thought of her like that out of my mind for the longest time. The thing is, it's not that hard. The image of her half naked that night was still in my mind, yeah it wasn't easy to get it to stop playing in my head, but I didn't like her because of her body or whatever. I've been with women for the longest time for that, but It's not like that with her. It was her smile that kept me intrigued, constantly trying to note down things that would pull out a few smiles from her. Her smile is so nice to look at and it makes you feel like smiling with her. Her face pours a beam of light into my dark and twisted life, it's the first time i see things that way. I like seeing them that way. She constantly appreciates the small things, making me grateful of what i have now compared to when i lived in the Royal Castle. The one i was forced to run away from.

Her beautiful sun-like smile makes me feel like an idiotic, giddy ypung man. Like I'm actually 22 and have not lived for centuries. Makes me genuinely happy to be around her. I want to draw it, her smile. And her gorgeous, soft and delicate features. I still remember the first time i saw her in that blue dress. How i hadn't really admired her beauty because i was too blinded by her pretty angry eyes.

I remember how deep inside, I was sort of glad I saw her again that first day because I hadn't had the chance to fully absorb in her attire.

Every part of that girl is a story. It would take me days to describe just her deep, midnight dark blue eyes and how mesmerising they are. How if i wasn't careful enough, i would be lost in them forever. I wouldn't even mind it if i were, that's how beautiful they are and even that is doing way too little credit to her magically blue orbs. I truly enjoy every moment with her, platonic or not. She's so beatifully...human, it overwhelms me how she can be so breathtaking, vampires would kill to have a fraction of her beauty and her selflessness. Selflessness that they were deprived of just because they were vampires.

I hadn't known how to be selfless until I met her. It was step by step, but I don't think I have the privilege to be called selfless when I'm holding onto her this much, knowing the outcome wouldn't be good for neither of us.