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Facts about YOU and jokes(none with race)

I know ten facts about you

1. You are reading this

2. You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips

3. You just tried it

4. You're smiling

6. You're sort of getting annoyed

7. You didn't notice i missed the 5th one

8. You wen't back and checked it

9. You're smiling again

10. You like this and you're going to comment or vote

JOKES BEGIN HERE

Daddy: say daddy

Baby: Mommy

Daddy: Please say Daddy

Baby: Mommy

Daddy: F*ck you, say Daddy

Baby: F*ck you, Mommy

Mommy: Honey, I'm Home

Baby: F*ck you

Mommy: Who taught you that!

Baby: Daddy

Daddy: Son of a bi*ch

Mommy: darn right he is!

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I was in a public restroom and i was about to sit down when i hear a voice next to me

"Hi, How are you?!"

Me: Fine

Stall person: What are you up to?

Me: I'm doing what you're doing.....sitting here

Stall person: Can i come over?

Me: (annoyed) NO, I'm a little busy right now!!

Stall person: Look, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my question!

Me: -_-

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Santa Claus was never laughing. He was just calling out your moms name

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Little Johnathon's Kindergarten class was playing Name The Animal. Then the teacher held up a card with a at and asked the children what it was

"it's a cat" said Lucy

"Nice job, Now what's this?"

"It's a dog" said Tye

"Good job, now what is this?" She asked holding up a deer

No one raised their hand, After a couple minutes the teacher said " It's what your mom calls your dad"

Finally little Johnathon raises his hand and says to the teachers surprise " I know!"

"Yes, Johnathon"

"A horny Bastard"

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Teacher: You have a D young man. What do you have to say

Boy: I know I have a D, just ask your daughter

Teacher: What!?!?

Boy: What??