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Auto-correct Fails (You'll love it)

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Hey what are you up to?

Just finished masturbating, makes me feel relaxed so i could sleep easier

Awkward

Shit. I meant menstruating.

Not less awkward.

I mean meditating, my phone hates me today.

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Dude I was drinking cock and jizz exploded all over my face

...um

Ugh, i meant coke and fizz

Sure you did

Screw this auto cucumber

God donut

I give up.

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Are you doing nutcracker this year

yep I'm auctioning kids tomorrow

Suctioning

Ridiculous auto cat rectal

I'M AUDITIONING KIDS FOR PLAY

sorry i asked.

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Hey want me to come over

no-my parents are homeless

*HOME

stupid auto crustacean

i mean auburn cockrockect

I'll just call you

a simple maybe later would be great.

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GREAT NEWS- grandma is homosexual

why is this great

Homo hot lips

Hot tulips

I'm getting fisted right now

frustrated

Grandam is H O M E

from H O S P I T A L

Ha homo hot lips

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Hey son i just picked up the new dick today, it's so cute

Omfg i meant dick

DICK****

DICK I HATE THIS DUCKING PHONE

DUCKING DICK HOW THE DUCK DO YOU TURN THIS DUCKING THING OFF

HAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing so hard I'm crying