The Other Side

In the walls

If it wasn't for Abbie then I don't think I could cope being here at all, it has been a week since I first started talking to her. We are pretty much by eachothers side as much as possible.

"Don't worry you will be fine." Abbie smiles, she squeezes my hand as we walk towards the therapy room.

My parents had told the doctors that I was to be given a week to get comfortable before the therapy would start. Now it was time and I couldn't be more nervous, Abbie tells me that it's nothing to be scared about but I'm not so sure.

"I've got to leave you here now, meet me in the dining hall when you are finished." She says, giving me a quick hug before walking away.

I stand by the door for a moment building up the courage before I finally knock.

"Come in." I hear a voice say from inside.

I open the door and shut it behind me before turning round, a grey haired woman sits at a wooden desk in the middle of the room. The walls are cream and there's a tall window behind her, looking out into the garden. It calms my nerves slightly.

"Sit down Ava." She smiles, gesturing at the seat infront of the desk.

I slowly sit down and stare at the table, waiting for her to begin.

"Ava it's nice to finally meet you." The woman says, leaning back in her chair. "How are you finding it here?"

"It's not so bad.." I mumble, thinking about Abbie.

"Have you made any friends?" She asks.

"Just one." I smile.

"Ok that's good, what is their name?" She leans forward in her chair.

"Her name is Abbie.."

The woman's face freezes. "Oh." She composes herself quickly before smiling again.

"Abbie is a great friend." I snap, suddenly feeling protective.

"She has made friends before you and they ended up hurt. Please be careful Ava and if you have any concerns then just inform myself or any other members of staff." She informs, her voice stern. "Now tell me why you are here."

I feel myself tense at her question. "You know why I ..am here."

"I'd like you to say it though Ava, you might find that it makes you feel better."

"I'm here because I attacked a nurse.." I mumble, sweat trickles down my forehead.

"That's not the only reason Ava." She says, studying my face.

Anger rises inside of me. "I didn't try to kill myself." I spit, knowing in my mind I'm not behaving like Abbie told me to.

"Ava if you admit it you can move on and I can help you." She smiles, trying to be encouraging.

"I'm telling you I didn't!" I shout, pushing myself up from the chair.

"Ava calm down." She says, pressing a button on the desk. "Let's stop for today."

Two nurses burst into the room ready incase I flip out. "Leave me alone." I warn, before storming out.

The woman nods and they let me pass. I run down the hall towards the dining room, as soon as I spot Abbie I run towards her and collapse in the seat next to her. She looks at me with concern and I force myself not to cry.

"Come on." She says, taking my hand she leads me out of the dining room and we run together. She takes me through corridors that I've never been through before, she must know where she is going.

We come to a door and she pulls out a key, she unlocks it and pushes it open. I peek around and see that it's a old storage room.

"When I first came here some guy that was leaving gave it to me, I use to come here when I got really bad. I haven't came in a while though, you looked like you needed the space." Abbie smiles.

I walk into the room and spot the two small chairs in the corner, I sit down on one and so does Abbie. I close my eyes and try to calm myself down, it's silence between us for a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, passing me a bottle of water.

"She was talking about you.. and..and sh-" I burst into tears, Abbie holds me as I cry into her shoulder. My tears stain her shirt.

After a minute I stop crying but the darkness in the room makes me feel uneasy. "I'm sorry about that." I mumble. "It's just the main reason I'm here is because they think I tried to kill myself twice.." I say, feeling self concious.

I look at Abbie's face, worried about what she must think of me. "Did you try?" She asks, her voice barely a whisper.

"No I promise." I say, honestly.

"Ok then I believe you but if you want to get out of here you have to tell them that you did, otherwise they will just think you are in denial." She sighs. "We need to get back otherwise they will start panicking that we've escaped or something."

We stand up and head back to the dining room, when we enter we sit at our usual table alone. Nurses watch us and one talks into her walkie talkie while staring at me.

After dinner Abbie walks me back to my room and lingers by the door as we talk. I wish we could share a room together but the nurses said we weren't allowed.

"Miss Cerr please go back to your room, it's almost lights out." A nurse called Sarah informs as she walks by.

Abbie sighs. "Night Ava." She smiles before walking away.

Now left alone in my bare room I curl up in bed under the sheets, dreading my dreams that have been waking me up every single night. Most of the time I see Richard's face, the worst nightmare I've had was a couple of nights ago when I dreamt he buried me alive. I woke up screaming and thrasing around, nurses came in and gave me some pills to calm me down.

I reluctantly, un-willingly fall asleep as I rest my head against the hard pillow..

My eyes droop open as I feel cold wind wipping against my legs. Standing infront of me is Richard, I freeze with fear. I look around and see that I'm in the garden, I feel something heavy in my hand and see that it's a knife. The blade glistens and I look back up at Richard. He stays still, just standing there looking at me.

"What do you want with me?!" I scream, pointing the knife at him. Trying to scare him like he had done so many times before to me.

He simply looks at me and without thinking I sprint forward and lunge the knife into his chest. He drops to the ground as blood spurts from him, I howl with joy and watch as the life drains from his face.

"It's over!!" I yell, looking up to the sky.

"Ava!" I hear my name shouted from behind.

I turn round and see about ten nurses and the woman I talked to earlier by the outside door. They all look worried and tense, watching me. I look back and Richard isn't there, there's not so much as even a drop of blood on the pavement.

I follow their gazes and it leads to the knife in my hand.

"Drop the knife Ava." The woman says, still in her pjamas.

I slowly drop the knife and it clatters to the floor, as soon as it leaves my hands two male nurses rush forward and grab me. One injects me with a needle and I immediatly feel drowsy, my eyes droop and I feel myself being carried back inside.

Authors note:

Woo! I enjoyed writing this particular chapter for some reason. Please vote and comment to let me know what you think.