✅ If I Decide To LEAVE YOU ~ [English Version ]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 - 3

If I Decide To LEAVE YOU~
(YIZHAN- Wattpad)
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Sometimes I just feel that if it weren't for my children I don't think I would have any reason to continue in this world.

It may sound very dramatic, but it is what my mind reminds me of every time I feel bad and I have no one to comfort me, a friend or family member to advise me or simply lend me their ear as I do or would by anyone.

The only thing I always get is "Xiao Zhan I don't know what you're complaining about, you have a beautiful family, healthy children and a handsome husband who supports you"

I sigh and resign myself to answering falsely that nobody notices: "thanks for your advice, the truth was very helpful", while inside... I curse myself for opening my big mouth in vain.

I feel that hearing that phrase repeatedly makes me feel worse.

Why do they pigeonhole in the 21st century that an omega has to settle for staying at home taking care of their children, washing, ironing or preparing food?

I must accept that I believed it too at first, when I agreed to marry for love of Derren and commitment to my premature pregnancy after that unexpected heat.

Questioning myself all the time what would have happened if that night hadn't resulted in that pregnancy.

But I will never get tired of repeating that my beloved A-Ling was never a mistake.

I could have gotten a steady job, supported myself, and been a different omega than everyone thinks.

But... Why cry over spilled milk? At the end of the day, I can't go back in time and exchange the past for an uncertain future.

My life slowly and quietly became unhappy, within those four walls I call home.

I show everyone my beautiful rabbit smile... but inside I'm slowly dying.

Now, I'm listening to those songs that break your heart on my iPad and I see how my tears are falling and reflecting in the large windows of the room as I clean them.

One of those many songs manages to hit me in some weak point and memories of the first years come to my mind, before the arrival of my little A-Yuan, where I still saw that sparkle in Darren's eyes when he looked at me or when we made love all night until we were satisfied and we woke up naked, glued to each other, between kisses and caresses that always ended in one more round.

Now they are just that... memories.

Our days became routine, there is no time for those things anymore.

He comes home tired from the office and I have to thank him when he is in a good mood.

I am satisfied that he likes my dishes, which I prepare with great effort and love for him and the children.

Also with a simple goodbye kiss before he goes to work or good night when he arrives late from the company.

They'll wonder if he's been cheating on me, I really don't know...

I also asked myself that question checking his clothes, smelling his skin and carefully observing if he has any strange mark on his body.

I never found any clues.

With technological advancement and different social networks at your fingertips, you have thousands of options and opportunities to do so.

The pressure from society and from his family also play a role against me.