Living Nightmare

Chapter Nine

Bucky carries you to the bathroom.

You're still crying and can barely do anything yourself, so Bucky helps you undress.

You sit in the bath, curled up in a ball. Bucky turns on the shower and holds it over your hair. It's stuck together in places where it picked up spots of blood. Bucky brushes his fingers through your hair in an attempt to untangle it a little.

Then he washes his hand and strokes your cheek, rubbing the blood off your face. He wipes it from your forehead, your lip, a bit in your eyebrow, some on your jaw. He runs the shower over the rest of you.

The water runs red as Bucky cleans you up.

Then you go back to your room where you change into joggers and a hoodie.

You're still silently crying by the time you're sitting on your bed. Bucky's next to you with his arm around you.

He wants to talk about it. He doesn't know where to start. He takes a deep breath.

"Y/n..."

You don't say anything.

Bucky waits a moment.

"Do you know who's blood that was?"

You don't respond but Bucky feels your head move as you shake it 'no'.

"Where did you wake up this morning?"

"... in here" you whisper. Your voice breaks. You feel like you can't speak without crying more.

"And... you don't remember anything about what happened last night?"

"No" you sniff. You can't help the tears that roll down your cheeks.

"Okay, I'm sorry" he turns on his side to hug you properly. "I'm sorry, it's okay. I'm here."

He waits for you to stop crying again.

"I'm gonna get you something to eat, okay?"

Silence.

"Y/n?"

You nod.

Bucky gets out of bed and you instantly roll onto your side and pull the covers up to your shoulders.

Bucky looks at you pitifully before leaving to get you a snack.

He finds Clint and Natasha in the kitchen.

"How is she?" Nat asks when she sees him come in.

"Not great. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. She's got no idea what happened... has anyone called the hospital?"

"Tony went down there. Someone will know something and he's hoping to look at security footage to see if that shows anything" Clint explains.

"Does she not even know who's blood it was? Was it hers?" Nat questions.

"She doesn't know. She can't remember anything after going to sleep last night until she woke up in her own bed here this morning... but I don't think it's hers. I couldn't find any cuts or marks that weren't there before."

"Could we test it?" Clint asks.

"She's already washed it all off. I reckon Tony might find some clue at the hospital, though."

Bucky moves across the kitchen to find you something to eat.

Natasha decides to check on him. "How are you feeling Bucky?"

"What?"

"This can't be easy for you."

Bucky takes a deep breath. "No, not really. I have no idea how to help most of the time. The best I can think of is to distract her from reality, but at the end of the day it doesn't make the problem go away. I'm scared because she is. I want nothing more than for her to feel okay, but I don't know how to do that."

No one says anything for a moment.

Bucky finds a pack of crisps and picks it up to bring to you.

He looks back at the others.

"Like Steve said this morning" Clint reminds him. "We're here for the both of you."

"Thank you" Bucky nods.

He walks out quickly, but he doesn't go far.

He leans against the wall in the hallway and shuts his eyes as he breathes in deeply.

When he opens his eyes again, he has tears slowly falling from them.

'Scared' is an understatement. He is terrified of losing you.

But he can't let anyone know that. He's got to be there for you. He's afraid that if you find out how he really feels, you'll lose all hope.

He can't let that happen.

Bucky wipes his eyes with the end of his sleeve and returns to your bedroom. He knocks gently before entering.

He freezes.

You're not in bed. You're not in the room at all.

"Y/n" he calls out to the empty room. He turns in the doorway and yells out to the empty hallway too.

"Y/n!"