I am Euphoria

Deadly Crimes

From all the rules I could break, I broke rule number one.
No one gets left behind.
Euphoria

——

It had been such a beautiful day outside. Plus it had been the only day Stone and I had a day off. After what happened with the Chancellor earlier this week, not a single trooper in the Coruscant Guard had taken a day off at keeping everyone safe from further kidnappings. Stone had took it rather hardly since it had happened on his watch. He had barely slept these past few days let alone ate properly.

As a consequence I had put him in time-out and now currently forced him to eat and sleep. Stone did all of that half-heartedly. He usually was very reserved and didn't talk much, but not even a single grunt or growl left his lips, what it usually did. After he finished the quick meal I had prepared, I tucked him into his bed. Like always he watched me and equally as always I felt the tingles run over my body. We were totally silent, but I had always admired that we understood the other so effortlessly.

I don't know when it specifically had happened, but over time I had developed a little crush on him. Leal would probably laugh when I would admit it to her since she had said it at the very first time I had told her about him, that him and I would end up together. Although my feelings were painfully strong towards my own Commander I wasn't as confident as I always acted.

And it didn't help, that Stone had a very good Pokerface. Often when he looked at me I wasn't sure what was going on in that thick skull of his. But all these looks he gave me made something with me I couldn't describe.
There was this sparkling tension in the air, I couldn't quite figure out. But as soon as it happened it often left, when he would tell me about the patrol routes he would walk and I was quickly grounded again.

Stone liked me. He wouldn't have made me one of his troopers if he didn't. But Stone didn't love me. And it didn't help, that I felt even worse remembering who I was and what I was ultimately created for.

When I had been very little I had always found it confusing why we were different and why the Kaminoans held us like animals. But after years of neglect and abuse I had accepted the fact that I would have never gotten any answers until they found that godforsaken file. There it had all stood.

Rain, Sun, Storm, Snow. Leal had been 'Rain' and I was 'Sun', making Kara 'Storm' and Naz 'Snow'. Cloned to be perfect women. We had been made to be mothers. And for me that was just disturbing.

Not that I didn't want to have a family some day. That wasn't out of the question. Not like it was for Kara. But I had always thought I had a choice in my decisions. Moreover I had been created for someone. It hadn't stood clearly in the file as I had read it one night when all my sisters where sleeping. But it was clear as day. He had used the word 'him'. This doctor had said Leal had been made for him. And that only meant that Kara, Naz and I had been made for someone too. The question just was for whom?

After we found out about our predicament everyone dealt with this in some way. Leal coped through her work, Kara was mostly letting off steam by picking fights or hanging out with Thire and Naz...well Naz had other problems at the time with Rex. So she rather dealt with those than this.

And I did what I did best, I tried to find a positive side of this new found information. Not everyone however liked my way of thinking and it only got me to feel more and more insecure about me. And it didn't help, that while I further crumbled into self-consciousness and doubt, that Leal, Kara and Naz kinda got over it and returned to these confident beautiful women. Not that I was jealous or something. But everyone moved on and I just was stuck.