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"We never realize how frozen we are until someone starts to melt our ice" - Bridgett Devoue
*****
Jimin
When I first met her I honestly didn't know that she was going to be this important to me.
I didn't know how I'd start skipping sleep just to listen to her voice.
How I'd get happy just by the sound of her laugh and sense of humor.
How her bear hugs would become the best remedy to my sadness.
When I first met her, I didn't know any of these.
It felt like my life had come to a point of no return.
It was never really a problem for me, letting go any of the girls I had dated. I wouldn't even care a bit, no matter how harsh that may sound.
But with her it was different.
Every moment of the past week, I had felt emptier than ever. Wishing I was back in that cold building, with nothing but her, her presence. The feel of smooth, brown hair gliding beneath my fingertips. Being able to hold her, knowing I didn't break her already fragile heart.
No fights, no misunderstandings, nothing.
I felt stupid, like the biggest idiot in the world.
How could I let things come this far?
I did let her go that night, but just because I did, it didn't mean that I wanted to.
I still repeated the things she said to me in my head every single day, no matter what I was doing.
"How stupid of me was it to think that you actually saw something in me?"
"I truly was willing to be with you."
With me.
Ahhhh fuck, fuck, fuck.
You're the biggest jerk in the entire goddamn world, Park Jimin.
I had messed up the one moment in my life that would've made a difference. Of course, I never wanted to lose Alkina. Never.
