willing

fourty one

one month later.

We were soon back home and into the regular schedule.

Myself- too many surgeries to even count
The guys- same boat as me
Tate- too much school to keep up
Lily- ecstatic about the mention of pre-k

"And I have to take her by myself." Tate spoke as I brought up the topic of it again.

"She's not going to cry, she's so happy about going-" "she's not going to cry, but I surely am." Tate mumbled.

The next day as I got ready for work, Tate woke up Lily, getting her dressed and ready for pre-k.

I watched her take several pictures of Lily, who wore the cutest pigtails with little bows.

"She's going to love it" I told Tate, trying to calm her nerves about sending her to school.

"I hope so."

Tate.

Soon Luke headed to work and I brought Lily to school, dreading every second of it.

She seemed so happy, so I made sure to not show any reaction, but she was getting way too big for my liking.

I held her hand, walking her into the school and through the checkout.

We found her classroom, where I brought her supplies, meeting her teacher and talking to her about everything and anything.

"Okay parents- time to say goodbye to your babies!" The teacher soon announced and Lily looked to me, confusion written on her face.

"You're leaving me?" She asked, and it immediately broke my heart.

We had discussed several times with her that neither Luke or I would stay with her, but I guess the thought of being with other kids overwhelmed the thought of us not being there at the time

"Yes baby, but I will be back before you know it." I told her calmly, and then the water works proceeded.

As she sobbed on me, she begged me not to leave her, to take her, to call Luke, to call Michael.

Soon I was the only parent left, trying my hardest to assure her that the other kids there would take her mind off of me as soon as I left.

She continued to cry her little eyes out, breaking my heart piece my piece.

Just as I was about to say fuck it and take her home, her teacher touched my shoulder

"I know it's hard, but the minute you leave her, she's going to forget and start playing, we do this with almost all the parents." She spoke gently.

I ended up convincing her to color with her friend, her small hiccups from her calming down from her crying making my heart break more and more.

"It's best if you just sneak out- she won't even notice and I'll text you pictures throughout the day." She teacher whispered.

I kissed her head gently without catching her attention and did as said.

And believe me when I say I then say I'm the parking lot for thirty minutes, crying like a baby.

I went home, trying to distract my mind, but only ended up thinking about her crying in my arms- which made me cry even more.

So I decided- I'm going to Luke

Luke.

I had just finished a successful surgery, feeling on top of the world, but as soon as I walked into my office to do paperwork, I saw a crying Tate, which immediately knocked me down,

"What's wrong baby?" I immediately asked, hugging her tightly.

"It was horrible." She almost sobbed out, crying into my shoulder.

She then proceeded to tell me how badly Lily reacted to her leaving her, continuing to cry.

"And I just left her there- like a horrible mom." She sobbed out.

"Your not a horrible mom- it's what they have to do baby, it's school," I told her calmly.

So continued to cry into my shoulder, finally calming down after several minutes.

She exhaled firmly, looking to me

"I don't want her to go to school." She cried to me.

I laughed, kissing her tears off of her cheeks.

"Someone is upset that her baby is getting big." I laughed, making her lean back into me.

"I don't want to talk about it,"