The Secrets We Keep (CAMREN)

Chapter 20: It Gets Complicated

Lauren's POV

I have no idea how long I've been crying on Camila's bedroom floor but I really didn't care. I had finally let out part of how I've been feeling these past months and I was finally able to breathe without feeling suffocated. I didn't even want to look at Camila's face because I'm afraid of what will happen next. She could either flip out on me or she could yell at me. Either way I knew she was going to be shouting.

What I didn't expect was her hugging me and kissing my forehead. Didn't I just yell at her and shouldn't she be freaking out? Why is she hugging me? I was about to voice out that exact question when I heard her speak.

"You should have told me"

As she finished saying that I looked at her with questioning eyes

"If you would have told me from the start I would have never gone out with Chris in the first place" she continues

"but you really liked him. I-I didn't want to ruin how happy you were" I finally say with a groggy voice.

"Well if I would have known that going out with him would ruin the longest relationship I've ever had, I would have been happy to say no to him" she says cleaning my tear filled face

"What relationship? At that time you weren't dating anyone at that time" I remind her

"I wasn't dating anyone yes, but I was seeing you every day for 10 years" she replies looking me in the eyes and I'm at a loss for words

"You're more important than Chris could ever be Lauren. I was stupid for hanging off of every word and thing he did. Those first few months of our relationship I was dumb to put him before you. When you pushed me away after that night, I thought you were being selfish but you telling me this now; just proves how much you care about me and love me. I'm truly sorry for putting you to the side and making it seem like Chris was more important, and I'm even more sorry for making you go through all this alone and not being there before you started cutting again" She says hugging me even tighter.

As she says that I close my eyes and lean into her hug. She wasn't the complete reason for the cutting but she was a thought when I did it.

"Lauren, can you please tell me when this started to happen again?" She asks breaking the silence

"Camz can we not talk about that subject right now please" I beg because I really don't feel like talking about the cutting.

"Fine but was what you told me just now the important thing you had to tell me?" She asks and I freeze. Shit the Chris thing. I have to tell her but how? I mean I've already made the day emotional with what I told her. I can't just tell her the Chris bomb too.

"Um-yeah' I respond with a shaky breath

"You're lying" she says and I curse myself "What was the important thing you had to tell me?" she asks again

"It's not important anymore" I say trying to make her believe me

"Is it about Chris?" she asks and my facial expression fails me as she mentions him "What did you do? Did you go against what we agreed on? Lauren tell me" She says pleading and all I do is nod 'no' to her.

"Then what is it?" she asks again and I can't hold it anymore

"Chris cheated on you last night!" I blurt out and cover my mouth after wards

"He what?" she asks not believing what I just said

"He cheated on you. I got home and when I saw him he told me he had woken up in bed with another girl this morning at Keaton's house" I tell her with my eyes closed

Camila's POV

I was shocked with what Lauren has just told me but then again Chris was wasted last night and only god knows what happened after I left with Lauren. It stopped being shocking after I thought of how things were last night but it still kind of hurt to know that the guy you're dating slept with another girl when minutes or hours ago he almost raped you.

"Camz I'm sorry. I-I was going to keep quite so he could tell you but you kept asking and I'm sorry" she says and I can tell she's stressed over this.

"When was he going to tell me?" I ask her and I see her face turn a bit skeptical.

"I told him he had 6 week to tell you or I would" She says

"So if he didn't tell me you were going to either way?" I ask and she nods

Well at least I knew she has my back through this, but hold on what did she do to him after he told her.

"Lauren" I start but she didn't let me finish

"I didn't touch him even though I was about to kill him. I just warned him and came here" she says and it hit me.

"Lauren was all of this, the pizzas, the junk food, the movies, all to make me happy before you told me about Chris?" I ask

"Yes but that didn't go as planned" she says and I realize another thing

"Were you planning on ever telling me you are in love with me?" I ask letting her go and making her look at me

"Not at this moment, no" She admits and I get a bit sad

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I ask

"Not really" She says truthfully and I must admit the truth fucking hurts

"Why not?" I question without thinking

"Camz I don't think" She starts but I just look at her and she give on

"I wasn't going to tell you because I saw how happy you were" she answers and it breaks my heart

Lauren actually thought I was happy. Is she blind? Did she not see how sad and miserable I've been without her in my life. I mean it was pretty obvious. I guess I should have had a neon sign that said 'NOT HAPPY' over my head or something.

"You were always laughing with Chris and my family when you'd go to my house for dinner and at school you and your friends seemed fine considering how you are treated sometimes" she adds playing with her fingers

"Lauren I was far from happy" I tell her as I grab her hands

"What? But you were always smiling" she says and I nod at her

"It's called faking it you know the same way you faked hating me after everything. I had to put a smile on my face for my parents and Chris so they would leave me alone but I wasn't happy. You weren't the only one who lost a best friend remember" I tell her looking at her eyes

"Yeah but I can't just be your friend knowing that you know I'm in love with you" she says and I smile at her

"Well then how about we fix that" I say biting my bottom lip

"Camila no you're with Chris and" but I cut her off

"Chris cheated on me remember. So since he broke his promise I can do whatever I want and right now, what I want has the initials LMJ" I says leaning in and whispering in her ear.

A/N: So how was it? Good? bad? Interesting? Let me know. The next Chapter will drive you crazy.