Blues (ONE-SHOT STORIES COMPILATION)

III. Can we go back to the days our love. . .

'CAN WE GO BACK TO THE DAYS OUR LOVE WAS STRONG?'

"Lian!"

Napapikit ako ng mariin ng madulas ako sa balat ng saging na 'di ko nakitang nakaharang pala sa daan. Hinintay kong bumagsak ang katawan ko sa malamig na semento pero kabaliktaran ang nangyari, bumagsak ako sa mainit na mga braso ng kung sino. Napamulat ang mga mata ko ng maramdaman ang marahan nitong paghinga sa mukha ko habang ang dalawang braso ay nakapulupot parin sa bewang ko.

"L-luke," gulat kong ani.

"Phew! Buti nasalo kita," naiiling nitong ani saka ako inalalayang makatayo.

"Thankyou," malamig kong turan saka mabilis siyang tinalikuran.

"Wait, Lian–"

"Don't touch me! Pagkatapos mo'kong iwan ng walang paalam, babalik ka ngayon at aastang parang wala kang kasalanang ginawa?" Bakas ang galit sa boses ko pero nangibabaw ang tampo dito.

"You told me to finish my study first before chasing you. I did that for you, Lian. Pagkatapos nung sinabi mo, I promised to myself na hindi ako babalik hangga't makapagtapos ako. Not until I become a successful. And mind you, hindi kita iniwan. I always got your back, noong nalasing ka sa bar 2 months ago, inuwi kita sa bahay n'yo without you knowing dahil sobrang lasing ka. Noong umuwi kang late one time, papagalitan ka sana ni Tita noon but I called her and told her that you're in a safe hands and last mont–"

"–you did that?" Putol ko sa sasabihin niya and smiled widely.

"What? Do you think that I'm just making a story? Lian, I love you okay? And I know you love me too until now," kampante nitong saad na ikinangiwi ko.

"How can you be so sure?"

"You're still single. 2 years akong nawala sa tabi mo simula noong nakipag break ka sa'kin but until now–"

"–it's not my priority. That's why," pagdadahilan ko.

"Come back to me, Lian."

"Ayoko," pagsisinungaling ko kahit na gustong tumalon ng puso ko sa saya.

"Tsk, it's not a question Lian. It's a statement. I want you back, in my arms."

Luke courted me for the second way around. Gusto naming ituloy ang naudlot naming pagmamahalan dati. I pushed him away to reach his goals and now that he's finally a successful, bumalik siya to continue his journey with me.

He supported me in everything. He showed me the definition of a crownless Queen. I maybe don't have a crown, but he treated me like his Queen.

Sobrang saya ko. Because all my life, he's the only man that I adore and love next to my father. Siya lang ang lalaking minahal ko. He's my first kiss, first hug, first date and first boyfriend and I wished that he'll also be my last as he promised.

But wishes aren't always meant to be granted and other promises are really meant to be broken.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang mga luha sa'king mga mata habang pinagmasdan ang lalaking masayang nakikipaglaro sa anak niya.

I covered my mouth while hiding. I just wanted to see him, even from a far. I just wanted to see his smile again, even if I'm no longer the reason behind it. I just wanted to see him happy with his family, even if...it's hurting me so much knowing that I can't be his wife.

6 years ago, we became friends and became a lovers but I pushed him away that's why we parted our ways.

4 years ago, when he came back and love me with all of his life as I do.

2 years ago, when I pushed him away again from me. Saying that I don't love him anymore, that I love someone else.

But the truth is, baog ako. And I can't make him the happiest man alive for I can't give him a child. All I want is to see him happy that's why I decided to just let him go, kahit masakit, kahit mahirap.

I wiped my tears again for 25th time saka mabilis na umalis sa lugar na 'yun.

Seeing him happy made me happy, but realising that I am not the reason behind those smiles crushes my heart into pieces.

Pero wala e, mahal ko siya and it's better this way. Ang makita siyang masaya kahit sa piling ng iba kesa manatili sa tabi ko ng hindi maibibigay sakan'ya ang kaligayahan ng pagiging isang Ama. Ayokong ipagkait sakan'ya ang kasiyahan ng pagiging tunay na Ama.

Sana...sana p'wedeng ibalik ang kahapon. Pero katulad ng huli kung hiling, it will never be granted. Wishing him back to my life is like wishing my tears to come back to my eyes as they trickled down my cheeks. Imposible.