Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley Fanfiction

18 | Killer

Dumbledore didn't answer any of my questions. Not even one. I was too young, he claimed. I was not ready yet, he said. All followed by his kind smile, that he used to cover up how much he actually knew. The moment he tried to cheer me up with licorice snaps was the moment I decided to leave.

I'm sure I have done lots of stupid things during my time at Hogwarts. But of all the stupid things I have done, what happened next is what I still regret the most.

The weeks that followed the incident at duelling club turned out to get even worse.
Harry was avoided by most students, sometimes even by other Gryffindors, and the only ones left holding truthfully to him were the Weasleys, Hermione, Neville and me. To top it all off, Justin Finch-Fletchley, the boy who everyone thought has been threatened by Harry, was the next victim. He was found petrified next to, likewise petrified, Nearly Headless Nick a few days after the duel.

Even if we tried not to talk about any spicy topic, there was no way we all could sit there in the common room and pretend nothing weird had happened. So, unhappily, it was only a matter of time until someone would freak out.

It happened the day after Gryffindor's next great Quidditch match. Or at least we thought that it was the day of the match. I fact, the game was cancelled a few minutes before it was supposed to start.
I sat at the tribun with Neville when Snape walked out on the field and announced the game would pe postponed. He didn't mention a reason and sent everybody off to their houses immediately. I looked down on the field where Oliver Wood was talking vividly to Snape. It looked like he'd soon lose Gryffindor some points for inappropiate behavior towards a teacher but luckily the twins intervened and pushed Oliver away. Fred looked up to the tribun and gave me a sign that they didn't knew what happened either and that I should come down to them. When I arrived at the field, I couldn't see Harry anywhere.
"What's going on?", I whispered to Fred, who greeted me with a hug. "Where is Harry?"
I looked around, still searching for him. Did something happen to him?
"We don't know yet", Fred whispered back and put his arm around my shoulders as we headed back to Gryffindor tower. I was worried, but not too worried to think about how handsome he looked in his red Quidditch cloak. "McGonagall showed up just when the game was about to start and declared it as canceled. She took Harry and also Ron along with her. We don't know where they were heading."
"I guess we'll find out soon."
We did.

Back in the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Ron were already there. Their eyes looked red and tired and their faces pale and horrified.
I looked frightened up to Fred, who tried to give me an encouraging smile but I could see fear in his eyes, too.
"It's Hermione", said Harry with a toneless voice. "She's been the next victim. She's in the Hospital Wing. Petrified, like all the others."
Ron said nothing, he sat silently on the sofa and looked as though he was about to vomit any moment.
We all sat there in silence after we heard the shocking news. Nobody, not even Fred and George, said anything. I felt my eyes filling up with tears. Poor Hermione. What was she even doing in the school corridors all by herself? I couldn't understand why she didn't take better care of herself. She was the smartest person I knew.

That night, I didn't want to go to bed. I was afraid of all the horrible dreams that would certainly haunt me. Sitting with my friends by the fire, sharing all kinds of stories where Hermione had proven herself brilliant, was clearly the better option.
Harry and Ron were the first to went up to their dorm that night, shortly followed by Neville and George.
"Aren't you tired?", asked Fred. We were the last ones left who hadn't gone up yet.
"Not really", I said. I poked around in the burning ashes of the fire that was about to go out, trying to turn it back on. Small yellow flames aroused from the blackened logs. I let them transform into flaming birds that raised higher and higher into the air until they burst over our heads like a little firework.
"Beautiful spell", said Fred quietly. "Hermione would have loved it." He came a little nearer to me and pulled a thin blanket over both of our bodies and I leant my head against his shoulder. The presence of his heartbeat comforted me.
And so we sat there until I fell asleep in his warm arms and he carried me all the way up to my dormitory. "Good night, sleepyhead", was the last thing I heard before I drifted away.
Nothing happened that night between us but sadly, we hadn't been as unnoticed as we thought.

"WEASLEY AND DANIELS! WEASLEY AND DANIELS! WEASLEY AND DANIELS!"
Peeves screamed this fateful accusation through every corridor, every classroom and even all the greenhouses the next day. There was no possible way that there was even one single person left who hadn't heard him yet, except maybe the few students that were petrified in the Hospital Wing.
Everywhere I went, people were whispering.
"Isn't he dating Angelina Johnson?"
"That girl clearly thinks she can have anyone"
"Never has a girl messed with Roger Davies like that!"
"I told you she's not trustworthy, there had to be something wrong with someone who's that pretty and that smart"
I saw no other choice than to leave and so I pretended to be sick during Transfiguration. McGonagall ordered Filch to accompany on my way out since I was still not allowed to walk anywhere alone. I obviously couldn't go back to my dorm and risk a confrontation with Angelina, who, now that she heard Peeves little song, was eyeing me hatefully from the other side of the classroom. That's why I chose the Hospital Wing to hide from everyone.

Madam Pomfrey gave me a large glass of pumpkin juice and some weird smelling liquid against my fake cramps to drink. It tasted like unwashed feet. I swallowed it all because I didn't want her to be suspicious and pulled the blanket over me afterwards. I tried to take stock of my current situation.
My best friend hated me.
My other best friend was laying petrified two beds away.
Everybody at school thought I was a slut.
At least I didn't cry yet.

Not long after I was visited by no other than Roger.
"Thought I'd find you here", he said. His dark eyes didn't look that kind anymore. "I just wanted to tell you this personally. I'm not dating anyone who still has feelings for someone else. Sorry, Julie, but this is over."
That was all. He didn't even want to hear me out or give me a chance to explain myself. He just broke up with me and left. I added "My boyfriend broke up with me as if it was nothing" to the little list I was writing in my head.
But I still didn't cry.

Then, about an hour later, Fred visited me at the Hospital Wing.
I didn't hear him coming, I was fast asleep when he entered the room and I didn't wake up until I felt someone sitting down on the bed next to me.
"Hey Julie", I heard him whisper and I opened my eyes. He took my hand and gently began to stroke up and down my arm. "How are you feeling?"
That was the moment I lost it.
"What do you think you're doing?", I shouted at him. Fred was shocked.
"I- I thought-"
"What, Fred, what? What is it that you're thinking, eh? Because to me it seems like you're not thinking anything, anything at all. Or do you really believe you can mess around with every girl as you like?"
My voice grew louder and louder.
"Angelina, your lovely girlfriend, if you've forgotten about that, is hurt and you think it's a great idea to visit me here? Are you really that stupid?"
"I-", Fred stuttered. He had clearly not expected that. I knew I was being unfair but I couldn't stop myself. It was like all the pain and fear and rejection and loss I had experienced during the last years was now rolling over me like a wildfire.
"Angelina is not my girlfriend anymore", he said quietly. Hearing that made me even more upset.
"Do you think I care? You ruined everything, Fred, everything! What was you playing at, anyway? You've been confusing me with your ambiguous signals since last summer and you decided to date Angelina anyway and now you're breaking up with her? Now? Are you serious? Did it ever occur to you that you're not the only one in the whole universe? That other people have feelings, too? Certainly not or you'd stop being a total asshole for even a minute and leave me the hell alone. Why did you come here anyway? Do you really think I'd play this game with you? You're the reason I lost everyone who meant something to me today."
"So I don't mean anything to you?", Fred asked. I've never seen him that hurt. He stood up and left without looking back.
Now I lost everyone.
I turned myself around in the stiff, uncomfortable hospital bed, pulled the blanket over my head and sobbed silently into my pillow.
And that's how I accidentally shut that door forever.

Can the killer in me
Tame the fire in you?
I know there's something waiting for us
I am sick of the chase
But I'm stupid in love
And there's nothing I can do
- Phoebe Bridgers