Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley Fanfiction

28 | Turn the Record Over

I couldn't sleep that night after I went to The Three Broomsticks with my friends. I tossed and turned but I was still wide awake hours later.
It took me more than I had expected to talk to Fred. Everything inside me was screaming while I was telling him I was okay with not being something serious and going back to being just friends. There was a short moment when I thought he wanted to say something, something to maybe change my mind, that he'd wanted to tell me he didn't mean what he said back then and wanted to be with me. But he didn't, of course. What a foolish little girl I was to think he'd still like me. He agreed into my offer without even looking at me and he sounded as though he didn't even care.
It was time to move on.

I got out of bed in the middle of the night, silently so I wouldn't wake any of my roommates, grabbed my journal and walked quietly over to the small place at the window. As I opened my diary, my eyes catched one of the last notes I had made in it. And living would be easy if we never ever had to bleed. I chuckled quietly. When was the last time living had been truly easy? I couldn't remember.
I pulled a quill (the one Percy got me for my birthday) and a bottle of ink out of the small dresser behind me and began to write. Bringing down all the confusing thoughts in my head down on paper always helped me dealing with them. Have you seen my heart? Have you seen how it bleeds? And the nights are so long.
I stopped and leant my head against the stone wall behind me and closed my eyes. I didn't like my heart to be shattered into little pieces. How could I allow Fred Weasley to do that to me? I wanted back to being the person I was before I fell for him but I knew that wasn't possible. Not only because of Fred but because of the secret of my past that was still haunting be. My thoughts wandered back to the girl on the photograph that I had safely hidden in my bedside table.
I opened my eyes again and wrote another line. I can't move on and I can't stay the same. Well, that was a true misery, I guess. If wanted to get myself out of this dilemma, I needed to do something. I needed to go on. I needed to turn the record over and see what the flip side would bring.

The next morning I woke up full of energy. I had planned to go swimming in the lake before class started but on my way out of the castle I bumped into Professor Snape. Shit, I had totally forgotten about his detention.
"Ah, good morning, Miss Daniels. I believe your essay about the Befuddlement Draught is already waiting on my desk?"
"Ehh", I said, trying to think of any excuse but unfortunately I didn't come up with anything good in time. "Yes, of course. I hope it is to your liking, sir."
"Well, I hope that too", said Snape and left with his usual flapping cloak, looking like a giant bat.
I tried not to think about Snapes reaction when he'd find out I didn't write the slightest thing and that I had just lied to his face. That was a problem future Julie had to take care of.

The water was cold, but refreshing. I dived under water and felt how my body immediately tried to hold its temperature. The water felt like a thousand ants were tickeling me everywhere, but it felt good. It made me feel alive.
I swam further out, turned around and watched the castle and the countryside from the perspection of the great lake. It looked amazing. The owls were just returning back to the owlery from their nightly hunt. I chuckled as I saw one of the owls missing the entrance to the owlery and crashing against the glass window instead. That must have been Errol.
A second owl catched my attention, it was white as snow so I recognized it to be Harrys owl Hedwig right away. Hedwig flew a little extra round above the lake I was just swimming in and then went a little lower to the ground - to land on Oliver Wood's shoulder, who was standing at the shore.

Oliver waved at me and Hedwig set off to the owlery.
"You're up early, Julie!", yelled Oliver so I could still hear him from the middle of the lake.
"I needed some refreshment! And what are you doing out here so early?", I yelled back.
"I wanted to go for a run! Aren't you freezing? The water must be way too cold this time of the year!"
"It's perfectly fine! Come in and find out!"
Oliver hesitated and looked sceptically at the lake.
"I don't think so, I didn't bring my swimming trunks!"
I laughed. "Bad excuse, Ollie! C'mon, don't be a coward!"

He didn't need to be told twice, put off his shirt and jeans and waded carefully into the cold water.
"God, I hate you for that, Julie", he muttered quietly, but I could still hear him.
"It's not that bad, isn't it?", I asked laughing when Oliver finally reached me.
"I don't know, why don't you tell me?", he said and splashed water over me. I screamed out of surprise and Oliver laughed at me.
What he started soon envolved into a water battle where we splashed water all over ourselves.
"I yield, I yield!", I giggled breathlessly after a while and Oliver laughed cheerfully at me.
"Thank you, Ollie", I said as we turned back to the shore. The water was lower where we were now standing.
"For what exactly?", he asked and brushed his wet hair out of his face. His brown eyes looked warm and kind.
"For joining me out here and making my day start so great", I said and smiled at him. "I missed hanging out with you."
"Oh, eh... I missed hanging out with you too, of course." He smiled shyly and blushed a little bit.

We used the Hot Air Spell to dry our clothes, got fully dressed again and made our way to the Great Hall to eat breakfast together. We talked the whole time about anything and everything and it felt great to hang out with him again.
When we entered the Great Hall together, nearly everybody else was already there, eating scrambled eggs and english muffins. The smell of tea and hot chocolate pervaded the entire hall.
I followed Oliver to the Gryffindor table and we both sat down next to Percy.
"Morning, you two", said Percy and passed me a bowl of fruits. "Where have you been? And why is your hair all wet?"
"We went swimming in the lake", I said and bit into a large violet plum. "Can someone pass me the hot chocolate, please?"
I looked around and searched for the pot of hot chocolate. I found it standing two places away in front of Fred and George. When I looked up to ask them to hand it over to me, I froze at the look of Fred's face.
I have never seen him that angry. His face had the colour of an overripe tomatoe and there were large frown lines carved onto his forehead.
If it wasn't for George, who handed me the pot I had just asked for, I would've probably stared at him in shock for the rest of the day. What was wrong with him? Didn't we just agree on behaving like adults the day before? Why was he still acting like he was jealous? He had no right to judge the way I spent my mornings and who I spent time with.
"Thanks, George", I mumbled and poured some hot chocolate in my cup. All the cheerfulness I had felt before had suddenly vanished.

I was almost glad that Snape appeared just in this moment to tell me in a harsh tone that I was expected in the headmasters office to face an appropriate punishment for ignoring his commands. Oh, and that I had also lost Gryffindor twenty points.
At least all that allowed me to leave the table without yelling at Fred for behaving so possessively towards me. Maybe we would never get along.

Have you seen my hands
Just look at 'em shake
And the song just keeps on repeating
Drop the needle again
And I dance with your ghost
Oh, but that ain't the way
I can't move on and I can't stay the same
- The Gaslight Anthem