Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley Fanfiction

08 | The End of Paralysis

I spent the rest of the day mourning down at the lake.
It was cold outside and I didn't bring my jacket. I avoided to be seen by any other human being, so getting my stuff out of my dorm wasn't really an option.

I stared at the thin layer of ice that covered the Great Lake like a shield of protection. There was a total different world covered under it, fully isolated from the world I lived in right now. Suddenly I wished that I could grow a layer of ice to shield myself from every emotion I ever had.
As the hours passed by and I didn't move my body, I suddenly couldn't feel my feet anymore. My fingers were stiff and the tears on my cheeks had frozen to small diamonds of ice.

I felt sad because of my foster father's sudden death. He had been a kind, though a little peculiar elderly man. I never saw him as a father figure but he treated us children kindly and always gave his best to give us something we could call home.
What really bothered me, was my brother's future. I didn't worry about my own, I knew I would return to Hogwarts at least the next four years. Maybe they would put me in an orphanage somewhere during the summer holidays, but I could worry about that later.
But Ben, Ben has lost everything.
Where would he go now?
What will he do now?
Will they let me stay in touch with him?
Will I ever see him again?

And, on top of all that, there was one other thought that sneaked in my mind and grew larger and larger during the last few hours.
I somehow got the strange feeling that even after these horrible news, Dumbledore still was hiding something from me.

I didn't know what time it was when I finally decided to go back to the castle. It was so dark outside I could't eveen see my own hand.
"Lumos", I whispered and a bright light appeared at the tip of my wand.

When I walked by Hagrid's Hut, I could still see the lights burning. Was he celebrating Christmas Eve all alone, I wondered. As I approached, I saw Hagrid sitting outside of his Hut, chewing on some kind of Christmas cookie. It sounded like he was chewing on a rock.
Fang noticed my appearance and slowly walked over to me.
"Hello, Fang", I whispered and softly stroke his long ears.
"Fang? What yeh doin' over there?", I heard Hagrid's voice shout. He walked in my direction, holding his crossbow in front of his huge chest. When he saw me, he immediatley lowered it.
"Oh, Julie. Didn't hear yeh comin'." He sounded relieved.
"Sorry to disturb you, Hagrid", I apologized to him. "I was just heading back to the castle. Good night."
I set off again, but I stopped when Hagrid called my name again.
"Wait, I'm comin' with yeh. It's way too dark outside fer a young lady like yeh to walk all the way alone."

We walked silently up to the castle side by side.
"Yeh know", Hagrid said quietly when he left me alone at the main entrance. He stopped as if he didn't know how to express his thoughts.
"You don't have to say anything. I don't need to be comforted."
Hagrid seemed uncomfortable.
"Yeh know", he began again. "I lost everything once. Got meself expelled when I was your age. They destroyed me wand an' stuff. Me dad died, me mom left. I've been through all that. And look where it got me. Got meself a job at the most wonderful castle in the most wonderful scenery, being able to make friends with such exceptionally wonderful students."
I smiled timidly. What Hagrid was trying right now meant a lot to me, even it didn't comfort me, at least not at the moment. Perhaps one day.

I didn't left my bed for three days, except to visit the girl's room. My remaining friends at the castle tried not to bother me during that time of grief. They propably thought I was being impolite, but at the moment I couldn't care less. Maybe I would apologize later.
Hermione showed up at my dorm from time to time and brought me something to eat. She silently accepted that I didn't had the slightest interest in talking to anyone, not even to her.
I trusted Dumbledore that he'd keep my secret, but I also knew my friends would be able to put together one thing and another.

In the evening of day three, the most delicious smell went through my dorm. I finally got out of my bed, put on my jeans and the green sweater I got from Ben when he grew out of it, tied my hair into a nearly decent bun and stepped down the stairway to the common room.

"Morning, Julie", Harry greeted happily when he saw me. Ron waved at me and said something inaudible with his mouth full of cookies. Hermione rushed at me and hugged me tightly. I smiled. I was glad to have such great friends.
"Julie! How nice to see you again. So what do we owe to the pleasure of your company today?", a familar voice came from behind me. I turned around and looked in George's radiant face. He gave me a hug, too.
"Actually, it was the smell", I admitted. "Did you bring cinnamon buns up here?"
Everyone laughed happily, imcluding me.
"See", I heard another voice coming down the stairs, it was Fred this time. "I told you my plan would work."
He walked towards me but unlike the others he stopped in front of me without giving me a hug.
"Angelina recently told me you're a big fan of those little cinnamon thingys."
"Well", I mumbled. "It's very kind of you to remember that."
Fred laughed.
"Did you hear that? She called me kind. Julie Daniels thinks I'm a kind person. Don't you all dare forget that!"
Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled me away to the cozy seating area, where Ron and Harry were sitting. Ron handed me over a table full of those delicious smelling buns.
"But leave something for me later, okay Julie?", Ron requested, still chewing. He earned a soft slap with Hermiones book for that but I found it rather funny.

The twins left the common room soon after. They had some "important business" to attend to, whatever that meant. They waved as a goodbye and I couldn't resist to exchange a long look with Fred. Thank you, I formed the words soundless with my mouth and I knew he understood by the smile in his eyes.

I turned to my friends.
"What's with all the books?", I asked them. "You planning on building your own library in the common room?" I joked.
"We're actually looking for something. A rather important information", Hermione said earnestly.
"You mean, YOU are looking for something. I gave up hours ago. We'll never find what we're looking for in this mess!", Ron added. He sounded annoyed.
"If you wouldn't waste all our time eating we probably-"
"Hey, guys", I complained. "I can't withstand you arguing all the time."
"Finally someone is of the same opinion", Harry laughed.
"However, what are you looking for exactly? I read a few books more than you guys. Okay, maybe not more than Hermione, but there's still a chance I can help you anyway."
"We're looking for someone named Nicolas Flamel", Hermione sighed.
"Flamel?", I asked curiously. "The alchemist?"

After my friends found out everything they so desperately needed to know, we finally exchanged presents and stuffed our stomachs with the remaining cinnamon buns. It became quite a nice Christmas feast after all.
I knew I was lucky to have them, even if I still couldn't sleep through the night. But at least I remembered I was not alone.

Poison oak, some boyhood bravery
When our telephone was a tin can on a string
And I fell asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die
- Bright Eyes