Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley Fanfiction

37 | With Or Without You

"More coffee, dear?", Hermione's mum asked and gently smiled at me. I had stared out of the window and wasn't paying much attention to what everybody was talking about until now.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs Granger", I said now and turned my eyes away from the bright blue sky since it was disappointingly empty anyway. "Yes, one more cup of coffee would be great, thank you so much."

The large dining table in the small townhouse where Hermione lived with her parents and where I had lived over the recent weeks was filled with all sorts of breakfast stuff, everything sugar free (Hermione's parents were both dentists) and not as extraordinary as the breakfast table in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, but it was still cozy and delicious.
We were having breakfast all together every saturday and sunday because Mr and Mrs Granger had to stand up early the rest of the week to enter their practice in time. I usually enjoyed these family meetings a lot but today I was distracted. Luckily nobody except Hermione seemed to notice. She was eying me compassionately from the chair next to mine as though she knew exactly what was going on with me.
"Still no owl in sight?", she whispered and I shook my head.
"I guess no answer is also an answer", I said. "I won't bother him anymore. This letter was the last one, I promise."
"Maybe he needs more time...", Hermione said, trying to cheer me up, but I could tell she didn't even believe what she was saying herself.

Ever since Fred told me he loved me in the middle of the night in the Hogwarts kitchens a few weeks back and I had done nothing but staring back at him in silence like the stupidest coward that ever existed, I hadn't heard a single word from him. And to be honest, I couldn't blame him.
"Julie, did you hear me?", had Fred asked in an insecure tone that I had never heard in his voice before, but I had still been paralyzed and hadn't said anything. All I wanted was to tell him that I loved him back but it was as though some invisible force was holding me back.
I hadn't been able to even move for minutes after Fred had said "So that's what you feel about me. Nothing. I get it", and left. When I had finally felt the blood in my veins and the air in my lungs again, he was long gone. And since that was our last night at Hogwarts and we all left the day after, I hadn't got the chance to talk to him in private again. Or even with other people around.

Fred and I had had some ups and downs over the recent years several times but it has never been like this before. He hadn't said goodbye to me or even looked at me on our way home and I had unsuccessfully tried to send him letter after letter since I was living with the Grangers trying to explain myself and begging for the chance to talk to him. The last letter must have been delivered by Pig (Ron's new owl, a present from Sirius) to Fred yesterday which was why I had been staring desperately out of the window waiting for an answer the whole morning.

Just when I thanked Mrs Granger for pouring more coffee into my cup, I heard the croaking of an owl outside the window and something big crashed against the glass. Mrs Granger shrieked and spilled what was left inside the coffee pot over the tablecloth.
"Errol!", said Hermione surprised and my heart made a leap. Errol was the Weasley's owl. Could it be...?

Hermione helped Errol climb through the window into the living room and carefully untied the parchment envelope from his leg. Errol croaked (it sounded relieved) and left immediately to make his way back to the Burrow, but not without breaking one more tea cup into pieces.
"Do you want to open it?", Hermione asked and handed me the letter but I shook my head.
"No, please, can you look who wrote it first?"
She nodded, opened the envelope, unfolded the letter and started to read.
"It's from Ron", she said and lay her hand comforting on my knee. I hadn't held my hopes high but I felt the disappointment in every bone nonetheless. Fred and I were over. I had no other option left but to admit it.
"What does he say?", I asked and tried not to sound as dejected as I felt.
"He- he's inviting us to come with them to the Quidditch World Cup. Apparently Mr Weasley got some tickets from someone at the Ministry for us all and they want us to join them. They are taking Harry to the Burrow tomorrow."
"Oh", I said slowly, not sure if I was really meant to be a part of it after what happened to me and Fred.
"He's mentioning you directly, Julie", said Hermione, who once again seemed to be able to read my mind. "You're their friend as much as I am. And you don't have to talk to Fred if you don't want to. There will be enough Weasleys around to spend time with - Ron mentioned in his letter that Bill and Charlie are coming, too! Wouldn't it be great to meet the other Weasley brothers? And Harry? And to see the finale of the Quidditch Championship? Oh please, Julie, let's go together! You have to come with us, Ginny and I will need you to achieve more girl power around all these boys!"

As I couldn't resist Hermione's arguments, I found myself packing my things a few moments later. We would both leave Hermione's parents house this afternoon; Mr and Mrs Granger had just agreed to drive us to Ottety St. Catchpole, even if it was a long ride.
Since I was basically living out of my trunk and had never unpacked my stuff during the last weeks, it didn't take me long to get my things packed. While I was waiting for Hermione to get ready, I pulled the record Fred gave me for my fourteenth birthday two years ago out of my bag. I used the record case to hide my most important (because highly secret) things.
There was the photograph of the Black family from which my birth mother, Sienna Black, was eyeing me furiously every time I looked at it. There was the letter Sirius wrote me at the end of last year to remind me that I was in charge of my life and not my family name (which luckily nobody knew) as well as the other letters he wrote me since then. And then there was a photograph of Fred and me. That was what I was looking at now.

Fred had taken the picture of us on the first sunny day this spring. We had spent the entire evening together down at the Great Lake beneath the castle while everybody else was at Hogsmeade. It has been an ordinary day like every other day before. Nothing special happened that day the picture was taken but it was still one of the best days in my life. Because it has been so pure and simple and easy. My best days were always with Fred, every single one of them.
I got sad as I kept on looking down at our smiling faces on the photograph. The wind was blowing my hair into my face and Fred gently stroke the honey blond strands aside to kiss me fondly on my forehead.
The photograph me blushed.
The real me cried.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I'll wait for you
- U2