Jordan (English version)

1 episode

                                 18+
                Max.comiks.media. HD
Jordan: Standing with the camera* So, are you ready?
The old woman: Yes! More than ever! Dancing the polka* How am I doing?
Jordan: Takes it off* Um, great...
The old woman: Broke up*
JORDAN: That's it! Enough is enough! Please! Enough!
The old woman: Wait, son! Slaps his ass* She jumps up and sits on his knees* It's rock, baby!!! Well, how did I turn out there? Not a fat cow?
JORDAN: No, what are you? Everything is fine!... The cow is already a compliment for you...
The old woman: What is that?
JORDAN: No, nothing!
Phone: Ringing*
Jordan: I have it! Hello?
Kem: Jordan! Come urgently! We're, like, going broke here!
JORDAN: What the...
                          JORDAN
                         1 episode
Kem: We're broke! The company has no more orders! And the whole budget is f*cked up! There is nothing to pay for the rent of the premises! We need to close down!
Jordan: And, let me ask you, why is the whole budget f*cked up?!
Kem: Well... Understand....
Jordan: Explain, please, how could you spend as much as $2 million on some chicks?!
Kem: The secret of the company!
Jordan: You idiot! Well, we have to do something! Somehow save the company! Have you tried taking intimate pictures?
Kem: It won't help! I'm sorry, Jordan...
Jordan: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Kem: Do you have a YouTube channel? There is. Do you have any YouTuber friends? There is. What else are you missing! You already have a profession ready!
Jordan: F*ck you!
Kem: What, I'm sorry?
Jordan: F*CK YOU!!!
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Jordan: Coming in* Hello, Abby!
Abby: Hello, are you for Salish? We learned a new exercise with her today and she did it with a bang! She has great potential!
Salish: Dad! Hi!
Jordan: Salish! Hello! They say - are you doing well here?
Chris: And I didn't understand something! What are you doing here?!
Jordan: I'm picking up my daughter from gymnastics!
Chris: And who gave you such a right?!
JORDAN: Nobody! I'm on my own! Because I'm Salish's father! And you need to cool down and calm down!
Chris: Calm down?! You f*cked some whore, and I have to just calm down like that?! You know what - I cheated on you too! And you know who?
Jordan: Well, surprise me!
Cris: With Kem!
Jordan: F*ck you!!! So he gave you all the money?!
Abby: Salish and I will probably go...
Chris: STOP!!! Yes to me! And what?!
Jordan: This was the last budget of our company!
Chris: You see, even now money is more important to you than me! Well, nothing! I'm filing for divorce! I found out everything! They can separate us, even remotely! As you wish!
Jordan: I don't want to!
Chris: Well, that's great! They will breed here, somewhere nearby and that's it! It's over!
Jordan: Listen, it's not too late to try it on! At least for the sake of Salish!
Chris: And I don't want to put up! I want a divorce!!!
Jordan: Yes, and do what you want, you're a complete fool!!!... Really, right?
Abby and Salish: Exchange glances*
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Jordan: No, I just can't believe it! This idiot wants to leave Salish without a full-fledged family!
Ali: How do I understand you, Jordan. My fool is the same! Would you like some cognac?
Jordan: Are you asking?!
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Chris: Freak! He cheated on me and hopes that everything will be the same! She also pokes her daughter!
Andrea: You bastard! The real one! Would you like some port?
Chris: Pour it!
Andrea: It's good that Ali and I are doing well in our relationship!
***************************************************
JORDAN: Yes! You're lucky!
Ali: You know, when we quarrel with Andrea, we write on the old wallpaper what we don't like about each other and glue all the new wallpaper on it.
JORDAN: Great. There are few happy families like yours in the world!
Ali: I'm proud of it myself!
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Ferran: It's in words they are so super friendly, but in fact... In fact, our family is also collapsing!
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Ali: Andrea! Please explain what the vibrator is doing on your shelf?!
Andrea: It's none of your f*cking business!
Ali: So when you need to have sex, you don't call me, but... him?!!
Andrea: Even he's bigger than your pod!
Ali: Well, thank you, dear!
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Ferran: Then they got into a fight...
Salish: I see! You don't have to tell me any more! That's why adults are always like this?! Like, "It's complicated! Everything is complicated!" No! It's not difficult! Everything is easy! Only you make it difficult!
Ferran: I agree.
***************************************************
Andrea: Have you already decided who Salish will stay with?
Chris: With me of course! Let's go to Texas! I will start my life with a clean slate!
Andrea: But Jordan will surely say that he wants to see his daughter at least on weekends!
Chris: Let him see! The main thing is not to catch my eye!
Andrea: But it's going to be a moving life! What a stress it will be for Salish!
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Jordan: She doesn't need Salish! She's going to be hanging around the shacks there, looking for boyfriends, and Salish will be homeless!
Ali: You're right, friend, you're right! And when is the trial?
Jordan: It should be tomorrow!
Ali: Already so fast?
Jordan: Yes, if you give them more money, they will divorce on the day of application!
Ali: Wow! I'll take a note!
Jordan: What?
Ali: No, nothing!
Chris: That's it! Salish! Get ready, we have to go!
Salish: So far?
Ferran: Bye.
***************************************************
Jordan: Sitting in the computer* And YouTubers really earn that normally... Hello? Let's record a video? Yes, I've made up my mind!
***************************************************
Ali: Let's start by deciding what type of videos you want to shoot! Entertaining or informative?
Jordan: Who knows! I would like at least some first!
Andrea: Well, look, our channel "Royalty family" specializes in entertainment videos! First you need to decide on what topic you will shoot them on! Simply put - what are you interested in?
JORDAN: I don't know... Photo probably...
Andrea: Great! More than one YouTuber has not had photo challenges yet! You'll get up quickly!
Ali: Invite some super-rated Hollywood model and come up with tasks.
Jordan: What kind of model?!
Ali: Even Bella Rose!
Andrea: I'll arrange such a Bella Rose for you right now! It won't seem enough!
Ali: Andrea! Well, I'm not for myself! I'm for a friend!
Andrea: I'll show you a friend right now!!!!
JORDAN: I see... Nothing else will help me here... One thing is clear - these will be photo-people... challenge... Ugh, f*ck! Photo challenges! Wow, what words there are....
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Jordan: Runs into the gym*
Chris: I thought you were late, as usual!
Jordan: Chris, can we cancel everything before it's too late?
Chris: And I don't want to cancel anything! You betrayed me! You promised you wouldn't betray me and you did!
JORDAN: I see. Sits down*
Judge: Coming in* Everyone stand up! The trial is coming! So, why do you, Jordan Metter, want to divorce Chris Metter?
Jordan: Yes, I'm not...
Chris: Is it possible somehow without this?! Did we pay you money now?!
Judge: Understood! Have you already decided which of you will get a daughter?
Chorus: Of course! Me!
Judge: How I hate you all.... Okay, let's look at the condition! Who will be better for her? Jordan! We are listening to you!
Jordan: I don't have much to say... I have a big house, a good financial situation...
Chris: He was also fired recently!
Judge: It's not your turn now!
Jordan: Yes, I'm broke, but I can create normal living conditions for Salish and raise her to be a successful person!
Judge: What do you say?
Chris: Me? Cough-cough! To begin with, I am a mother...
AFTER 5 HOURS:
The whole hall: Sleeping*
Judge: Napping*
Chris: And also, I took a training course for "young marmots", so I know how to survive in extreme conditions, and if anything, I can protect my daughter! Sir, Judge? Are you asleep?
Judge: Eh? What? No! Beats with a hammer * The court has made a decision! Underage Salish Metter goes to her biological mother, Chris Matter! The decision is not subject to appeal!
                         End of episode 1.