Beneath The Scars

Chapter 1

Riley  is my name . Dark skinned , long crinkly black hair , pink lips , hazel orbs and medium height . My best friend is Johan Mills, I have a brother and I'm in high school , senior year . My parents always consider me a disappointment and the black sheep so I moved to a boarding school to avoid them. I met Johan three days after arriving in high school and trust me he is the best. We've been through so much and he even knows me better than my brother . My parents have always been a pain in the neck so don't blame me ever for any thing I do when I'm with them .
It was a very dark night , I remember . I walked into my dorm room after my phone call with my dad telling me how poor my grades are and how much of a disappointment I am . I threw my bag across the room as I jumped on my bed to hide my tears of shame . Everything around me was blurred due to the newly formed tears in my eyes . A knock on my door drove me to quickly wipe my tears and put on the smile I fake each time.
I walked to the door and opened it and in came my best friend Johan . Curly dark brown hair , dark toned skin , dark brown orbs, a sharp pointed nose and a million dollar signature smile . We walked inside and sat there chatting and smiling . It's only with him I can be myself and not feel ashamed . It would kill me to loose such a friend and a brother .
It was quite late when Johan left . The blurred up shadows of me walking floated on the ground. I dug into my pocket until I found my favourite gummy bears and I began chewing . This week has been quite exhausting and I can't seem to get over with it . I picked up my phone and scrolled through instagram checking notification and viewing images untill my worst friend sleep called and took me with her.
I woke up to the sound of my door bell ringing . Typical of Johan to wake me up at 3am . I groaned getting up from bed and attended to the door. "Darling , what do you need? " I asked sarcastically with my eyes closed waiting for an answer. I stood there waiting, and when I got none I opened my eyes . It wasn't Johan or anyone I knew of . The man at the doorway looked like a mafia gang member . At times like this I miss Johan . "Sir , please can I help you ?" I asked "Yes, you can" he answered . Before I could digest what was happening I was being pushed to the wall with a handkerchief on my nose.
Fear gripped me, I had never been that scared in my life . My heart continued pounding in my chest ,sweat forming on my entire forehead , my throat immensely dry, tears trickling down my cheeks. My eyes were giving me away i felt it , i knew it . I gave up the fight and let darkness engulf me.
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I woke up to the same dream as years ago . Time could not heal my wounds .They kept cutting deeper and deeper , i see it not as a dream but an unforgettable memory which keeps haunting me . If only time could stand still.
Sometimes we think we will spend our lives the way we want but fate determines our path . I sat on the long bench with my mates by my side . Some things are better not said. Pretending to be mute is a better option . I took a paper and decided to write a letter to Johan .
Dearest Johan ,
        I genuinely doubted whether our friendship would ever last but in the last few years that I've known you , I know now that time has no correlation with a bond . Thank you , thanks for all the times that you stood by me , that you listened to me . Today writing to you I don't know whether to cry or to be overjoyed . It's been so long . After the incident that happened two years ago I've not heard from you . I've tried my level best to remain strong but I can't . I've missed your company a lot . I'm tired of staying here . The psychiatric hospital is something else . I want to come back and see the world .I'm crying right now , please , I'm begging you. I want to get out of here . It was nice writing to you. Hope to hear from you soon .
Love,
Riley
After I was done writing I gave my paper out to be sent to him . As I looked up a recollection of past events floated through my mind . It was him from years ago .He was watching me ." Come see me Riley , I'm not there , I'm here come , come, come !!!" he said . It can't be he is dead it's been two years . No I remember stabbing him , it can be I, I, I ... he died I saw it , his dead body .I quickly closed my eyes and used my hand to cover my ears . Beads of sweat trickled down my body . My body shook uncontrollably . "Riley" someone called but I choose not to listen" Riley" the same voice called . " No , no please go , please leave me." I screamed .I jumped out of my seat and left the hall .I felt suffocated there .I could not stay there.
While running I bumped into someone and fell on my knees. I was so frightened that I pulled my knees up to the level of my head and hugged it tight . Scared that he will find me , scared that he will take me back to that place. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jerked it away . Please leave me I'm begging of you. I don't want to die please let me go , let me go . I said while crying.
Psychologist P.O.V
I was going to the main hall to see one of my patients when I bumped into a girl . She looked so broken like any single word could kill her . I've dealt with many patients and I can see it would not be very easy for her . She kept on repeating the same words " Please leave me , I'm begging of you, I don't want to die, please let me go, let me go ." I don't know what her situation is but I feel the urge to help her so I will . I'm not going to hurt you please trust me .I told her.
"I'm not going to hurt you" she said . It was not his voice so who was that . I looked up to see a pair of brown eyes staring at me. It was not him . I got up and cleaned the droplets of tears and sweat on my face .I then resumed running .I could hear her scream for me to wait but at this point I felt I cannot trust anyone ,not even my shadow. Those who I trusted turn their backs on me, even my parents . I rushed to my room closed my door and stood behind it my heart pounding . What if she hurts me like they did ? What if I trust her and she breaks me even more.
I jumped on my bed as I starred at the white ceiling . My eyelids suddenly grew heavy and I drifted off to sleep . "Come here, you are just a little puppet in my hand even an ants life is worth more than yours ." he said . I walked straight to him .I was frightened. He pushed me to the wall and his actions led to my head hitting the wall and as a result got bruised ." Please leave me , let me go , no, don't hit me . " I woke up only to find it a dream with tears flooding my eyes . I got up and left the room .  I walked further to the edge of the building . There were voices in my head telling me continuously to jump and kill myself . There were so many reasons why I needed to kill myself . One , there was no one in my life who would miss me if I died .Two , I was completely broken and feared to be told the truth that I was crazy . Taking in a deep breath I put one foot on the staircase ready to add the other when I heard someone shout "stop ".