Beneath The Scars

Chapter 12

I realized how my therapist seemed interested in my back ground . She asked lots of questions whenever she returned from work about my past . She researched the locations of a few of them and managed to link me up to a few of them . One day she told me my adopted parents wanted to come over for us to talk . I was astonished. Although they had been sending me money and letters during functions I had not seen them. Why now after two years . Yet still I accepted to see them . There were some scores we needed to settle .
"Mom ",I called out seeing her . She had aged so much in these two years . The last time I saw her was in January last two years before I ended up here. " How are you doing mom?" I asked "I've had better days." she said with teary eyes. "How is dad doing ? Why didn't he come ? Where is my brother ? How is he also ?" I asked . " Your brother is fine ." She said ." What about dad?" I asked . With that being said she broke down in tears " He is not okay he has been hospitalized for a year now and doctors are saying he has six months left to live " she said "I'm sorry Riley for everything I have done to you . I treated you badly , always shaming and comparing you to your brother . I never made time for you and I'm sorry for that. I acted like how step mother's in movies act , caring only about my biological child despite the fact that I was the same person who adopted you ." " Mom why did you do that ?" I asked with tears running down my cheeks . " You know, I attempted suicide so many times and caused physical harm to myself so many times . I used to ask myself why you never loved me ,why you always defended him , why you never appreciated anything I did and why you always made me feel as though I was not part of the family when you were the people who adopted me . The reason why I always wear long sleeves t shirt is because I always try to hide the cuts I've made on my wrist .Today I want answers . I want to know why you did this to me " I cried tearfully " I'm sorry " she said whiles crying . "So, why now ? Why didn't you come and visit me then . Why are you now here all of a sudden? " She knelt down in front of me begging for forgiveness and honestly I  had sympathy for her .I held her hand and helped her up telling her she was forgiven  .  We can now concentrate on the future . She embraced me and for once in my life I felt the warmth of a mother from her . I smiled and wiped away her tears as she did same for me . We sat down and she told me that dad had a heart attack and that only forty percent of his heart was functioning now." This means that I have only six months to be with him ." I said ." He wanted to meet you so bad but some circumstances lead to him not being able to . He regrets every thing Riley , all he wanted was the best for you. " I remember her saying . I forgive him mom for that is every father's wish . That day I had a good nights sleep because at least I had one problem off my shoulder .
Another incident I remember clearly was a visit to a Catholic father friend of hers at his parish . I remember vividly,  my therapist Josy going in first to make a confession of her sins. I was then asked to follow suit .I went near the confession box and decided to bring all my  sins before my maker .