Life, Love and Growing Up

Play Ball

The sun was hot as it shone down from above us which contrasted with the cold silver metal of the bleachers I now sat upon.

I fanned my face with my hand for a moment before I readjusted the hat on my head.

Today was the baseball teams final play off game. Here was a do or die situation. If they lost here than we would lose it all.

I sighed and looked over at my boyfriend who sat in the dugout with his head down and his new hat held tightly in his hands.

His short hair shone in the sun as I saw him sigh and finally put the green baseball cap back on. He looked up and looked over to where I was sitting and a small smile tugged at his lips.

I freely smiled back.

He'd been so worried for this game for a week that he's barely been able to do anything. He's been sleeping very poorly, he hasn't been eating very well and he hasn't been smiling much, so seeing that small smile made me feel a little bit better about this whole thing.

I tipped my hat at him and his smile, minuscule and barely seen, suddenly became larger than life.

This hat was now probably my most prized possession. All because he gave it to me.

Before the game today he picked me up super early since I told him I wanted to see him practice for a bit before they started to game.

We drove in silence even when I tried to make him smile and had tried to start a conversation, but he only stared straight ahead, maybe a nod once in awhile and than gripped the wheel a little tighter so his knuckles would become a bright white as the skin over them stretched.

At some points I worried he'd snap his fingers at the amount of pressure he was putting onto the wheel, or than again, he's break the wheel.

Finally he pulled up next to the field and I climbed out of the car before he could even try to open my door like usual, but he was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice the difference.

It hurt a little bit but I pushed it to the side and instead went to the trunk and helped him get his stuff. I offered multiple times to take some of his bags or the cooler but he simply refused and trudged down to the field.

We walked down a dirt path through the trees and than come out behind the dugouts.

I sighed and slowly followed behind him. I wasn't allowed in the dugout because I wasn't a player so instead I made my way to the bleachers and glumly sat down.

I watched as he silently sat down his stuff and started setting up the gear he would need to practice with.

I sighed as I watched him and twiddled with my thumbs in nervousness. He was worrying me, like really worrying me.

As they practiced my leg started to shake and I but my lip in frustration. He looked so out of it and so messed up, like there were too many variables coming at him at once.

Around 2:45 the other team showed up and they were kicked off the diamond to let them warm up. Xander was officially pissed, even though he knew at some point this was coming.

The coach called him over and that's when I knew he was in trouble. I became even more agitated as I watched from afar and could t hear a single word that they were saying.

I decided I had to take my mind off things and I put my headphones into my phone, turned up the music and put the earbuds in.

I couldn't watch and not be able to do anything or even figure out what was going on.

I went in and read some old unread emails that I hadn't gotten too lately and than started to read one of my books, Gone by James Patterson.

I felt like I was being tapped on my shoulder and saw Mrs.Simons, Xander's mom. I turned around and pulled out my earbud.