Mine to Lose

Chapter 3: First Love

-Sixteen-

Ever since Kimhan helped him with his first rut, Kavin had always felt a sense of being indebted to the other Alpha. He generally liked Kimhan - Kavin doubts one could hate someone who helped them out in a tight spot; especially the way Kimhan did. But he hated the feeling of being indebted to someone who merely tolerates - and if Kavin was right in his suspicions, borderline hates - him.

He wanted to make it up to Kimhan. Even just for the sole reason of leveling the score.

And so, Kavin spent the whole year trying to be helpful, going out of his way to helping Kimhan. The attempts ranged from subtle (like the time he 'accidentally' bought an extra cup of coffee when Kimhan went to school after pulling an all-nighter) to all-out (like the time he scoured downtown Bangkok for a strawberry croissant, Kimhan's favorite snack, when the latter's regular bakery ran out). For some reason though, nothing Kavin did felt enough. His actions, while seemingly effective to deliver momentary happiness to the target recipient, didn't feel equal in magnitude to the favor that Kimhan gave him long ago. Kavin wanted to do more. One grand gesture, just so he can say to himself that the score between him and Kimhan is even at last.

The opportunity presented itself unexpectedly.

He was on a date with Thyme that day, happily sipping milkshakes and sharing a huge platter of fries, when suddenly a tall, pretty girl entered the diner. She wore their school's uniform and Kavin recognized her to be someone from 2 grades above them. Kavin was about to return his attention to his date when Thyme suddenly whispered in his ear:

"Don't look, but that girl at the counter is Kim's crush!"

Kavin would later find out, through Thyme's stories, that the girl's name is Nubdao. Kimhan met her during their freshman welcoming assembly and fell in love-at-first-sight. Thyme said that Kimhan had been pining after the girl ever since.

"Why doesn't he do anything about it, then?" Kavin asked.

Thyme sighed. "Well, she's a Beta. Nothing wrong with Betas, of course, but Kim is an Alpha and would eventually find his mate. He doesn't want to pursue P'Nubdao only to have no choice but to leave her later on."

Kavin thought that's bullshit. Of course Kimhan would have a choice, just like how it was Kavin's choice to have fun at first and then cut off ties with his exes later when he met his destined mate.

"It's partly why I want my brother to meet his mate already," Thyme continued, oblivious to Kavin's inner musings. "He gets so sad about P'Nubdao sometimes, I can feel it. I just...want him to be happy too, you know."

Kavin nodded understandingly, a plan forming in his head. Oh, he knows how to make Kimhan happy, alright. His mind was already racing with scenarios when Thyme caught his attention again.

"Kavin? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Like how, sweetheart?"

"Like your mind is off somewhere else," Thyme pouted. Kavin sighed and pinched his boyfriend's cheek.

"I'm sorry for spacing out. I'll pay more attention to you, okay?"

"Okay!" Thyme replied, his normal cheer coming back. "Should we go to the cinema already? We still have an hour, but it's better to be early."

The couple had planned to go see a movie today. Kavin had been excited to take Kimhan to an artsy sci-fi film in one of the local cinemas, but when he mentioned this, Thyme's face crumpled. He tried to hide it, but Kavin caught on quickly.