Haruchiyo Akashi x reader
✨UNDER HAITUS✨
This will follow the manga so spoiler alert
We're gonna grow with sanzu and see another point of view to this whole trauma experience
Will include angst fluff and maybe some smut but later on and I will proba...
__ ☆*:.｡. ... .｡.:*☆ __ Two birds on a wire One tries to fly away and the other __ ☆*:.｡. ... .｡.:*☆ __
12 weeks pregnant
"Congratulations miss l/n you have a perfectly healthy baby the next time we should be seeing you is for your 20 week scan"
I looked at the sonogram in awe
That's my baby, my sweet and innocent baby, seeing my child for the first time gave me a sense of faith to keep going and see the brighter things in life
Should I tell him? he could be a great father and we could live the cute little happy family life
Maybe I could have that dream wedding for you Emma...
I think I've finally made up my mind!
"I have to leave Bonten!" I stated proudly
The safety of this child is now my top priority and Bonten is no place for children to grow up
Now all I have to do is convince him...
I got into my car and gave Takeomi a quick text to update him on today
Ever since he found out Take-kun has been my biggest help, now that my first trimester was finished with I felt alive again, I can do anything I set my mind to do!
The drive home felt longer than it should have, my mind lingered with the thoughts of how my fiancé would react to this news.
Pulling up to our buildings car park I notice he was already home
Well then y/n I guess it's now or never...
"Hey babe did you go to the doctors today?" I just nodded I hadn't told him I was pregnant yet just that the doctors think I'm suffering with anxiety and they're testing me on medication strengths
"All good I think I need to talk to you about something"
"Hm what about?" He gave me this soft look as he was leaning against the wall beside him
If I don't bring this up now I'll feel too much regret not knowing his answer
"Leaving Bonten" the sound of glass shattering was all that could be heard
He had punched the mirror hung on our wall beside him
I really liked that mirror too...
"What do you mean leave Bonten!"
I cowered back a little as his tone of voice absolutely scared me at the moment
"Don't you miss our old lives being innocent and free I want to live like that no drugs no fighting I just want a happy normal life!" I replied in a panic I really had to watch my words otherwise if I say the wrong thing that would be it for me
However he only sighed
"Living life freely huh I go to work to pay the taxes and we live a happy married life in a suburban part of Japan maybe even pop a few kids a long the way..." I smiled at him as he said these things, they didn't sound too bad
"AS IF YOU STUPID BITCH WE HAVE TO SERVE MIKEY!"
This had ticked me off
"ITS ALWAYS FUCKIN MIKEY IM YOUR FUCKING FIANCÉ DONT I HAVE A SAY IN THIS"
"YOU DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO Y/N WHEN YOU JOINED BONTEN IF YOU LEAVE THAT COULD PUT YOUR LIFE IN DANGER DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT!!" After that I just felt like crying the hormones were just too much for me right now
"Your a fucking asshole you know that! I thought we were supposed to love each other" I was now a crying mess
This is another part of why I didn't like being pregnant the constant hormones swinging me from one end to another
"Look if I didn't love you I would let you leave and put your life in danger, Mikey is number 1 so he is priority but I'll always love you" he then came over to give me a soft kiss before parting ways with me
"Give it a few days I'm sure you'll feel better soon I've got ketamine in the bathroom cupboard if you want you know keep the edge off whilst your on your monthly" did he just pass this off as me being on my period
Fucking asshole
I went up to the bathroom and dumped the drug down the toilet
I fuckin hate not doing drugs but for the safety of my baby I'm not taking anything I'm going cold turkey and I don't need any of these fuckin drugs to keep the edge off
The only thing I did find difficult was quitting smoking, since I barely ever touched drugs it didn't feel too bad having to quit them however I smoke every god damn day
And so when I spoke to my doctor about it she recommended cutting down the amount I smoked so I wouldn't stress the baby
"I just hope you come out healthy still..."
I pulled out my pack and lit a smoke and as I did that I couldn't help but cry again
I'm gonna be such a bad parent I can't stop smoking and I'm in Japan's most dangerous crime organisation
"Your not even born yet little one yet I'm already a failure"
I decided I'd call it quits for the night and go to bed where Sanzu was already resting
"Hey you up?" I asked and he just grunted in return
"What's up babe"
"I was just thinking about things to do with our future together, would you ever want kids?"
He sat himself up a bit drowsily
"I mean I guess like but that seems a bit taboo dont you think?"
"Yeah your right let's just go to sleep"
"However if we did I'd hope they took after their mother..." I just smiled and switched the bedside light off
"Goodnight Haru I love you"
"I love you too"
There's always times when I feel my lowest that's when Sanzu is there then I look at the better things in life and remember that the man I fell I love with when we were 16 is still there too
Just deep down somewhere probably lost...
__ ☆*:.｡. ... .｡.:*☆ __ Word count: 1015
A/n ok this chapter made me proper emotional like wtf Sanzu you gaslighting bitch I just want them to live happy doesn't help that as I write this I listen to the music and just think WHY WHY WHYYYY
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