Mr. Heartbreaker (Fruk)

1

I remember the first day I ever saw him...

He had been looking at the campus map, very confused. His eyebrows thick and his hair messy; he didn't seem too great. However, I stopped to help him. I approached him and when I looked him in the eyes..... I immediately fell in love.

~
The first day we met was the day my life changed. We had become friends, and the more I got to know him... The more I began to love him. That was two years ago; now, I am a junior in university and still manage to mess things up when it comes to him.

Arthur and I did many things together, studied, hung out, ate, exercised, and lots more. Since both of us were exchange students, we both lived in the dormitory in America.

I liked America a lot, and a part of me wanted to stay here after graduation, but I knew I had to move back to France. I don't really have the money to move here officially.

Back to my special friend... I'm sure you're wondering, "just tell him how you feel straight up!" Right?!!! The obvious solution to make, but I've tried already.

~
"Arthur....... I like you a lot......more than a friend...." I spoke.
"Awwww, I like you too! You are my best friend!"
~

Okay... I guess it's my fault for using the word "like," but in my defense, I did say more than a friend!

Now... I'm sure you are thinking now, "oh! How about showing him some affection?" Right!? Like a sane person would say. Gifts maybe? Spending time together, maybe? I HAVE TRIED!

I'm beating my head around as I continue to think about how many times I've given him flowers or tried to take him out to dinner, but NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!

He always thinks it's friendly, and I can't help but want to slap him across the face. How could someone, anyone in this entire world! Be so stupid. Aren't British people supposed to be smart? Aren't they supposed to know subtle hints?

Now..... I'm sure you must be thinking now... "Oh! YOU WOULD THINK?! How about flirting with him?"

I don't know how else to go about this. Words of affirmation, praising, flirting, I've tried everything. I've toyed with him many times. It is like none of them affected him at all. Maybe it didn't because he probably doesn't see me that way. I'm not sure, but I'm literally losing my mind.

This might be a challenging way to start because I love him, and I do! He makes me so happy, and I want to be with him so badly... But he is such an idiot.

I don't want to try anything physical with him because what if he doesn't feel the same? It could cause us never to be friends. The most I've done was try and hold his hand. Yet, even then..... he smiled at me, held my hand, and returned to what he was doing.

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO DO?

Pin him against the wall and kiss him. This was driving me crazy! And although that would be nice... I just can't!

Last night I was shot down again, which wasn't very pleasant. We both decided to be roommates last year, so we've gotten closer. I tried to come onto him as he studied. I reached behind him and sort of... kind of...  asked him if he wanted a back rub.

However, he insisted that he was way better at that stuff and ended up popping my back instead. Thinking about this now has caused me to slam my head against the desk in my room. How does this keep happening?

Remember kids! Someone can be in college and still be an idiot!

He had left for the afternoon, and I was wracking my brain to figure out another way to tell him how I felt. I might need some reinforcements. I had other friends on campus, so maybe I should finally try asking them for help. I think that this time...

There is Ivan and Alfred, who are a couple..... I met them through the LGBT club on campus.....

And that's another thing!

He knows I'm gay! And he still doesn't get the hint?

Anyway, Ivan and Alfred had their relationship, and so did my other friends lovino and Ludwig. Lovino had a brother who came by often; he was super sweet and noticed how oblivious Arthur could be.

Anyone could tell; maybe he lacked social cues. Then again, I wasn't one hundred percent sure.

Things will change, and I will make sure of it. However, I want things to change! Even if Arthur rejects me, at least I have closure from him knowing how I feel. That's all I want now, to have him understand how I feel.

I wasn't scared of rejection anymore.

Sometimes I should give up, but that is for losers! I will never give up! Maybe he needs a gay awakening? Perhaps I should try getting him to talk about his sexuality? I can talk about it and go from there.

That seems like a better option, right? Talking about our sexualities? Who knows...

However, tomorrow I swear that things will be different. I'll go above and beyond and flirt, seduce, hit on, and make him embarrassed; I'll do all I can to do it!! If it means he will notice it for a split second. I'm putting my all into telling him.

I wasn't sure how much more blunt I could have been about any of this. He was such a sweet guy. I felt so bad calling him an idiot because of it. But he was... He was an IDIOT in all cap letters.

But ..... he was my idiot..... and I love him a lot and would do anything to make sure he was happy.