Our Deadly Sins

Ch 15

Months went by. Sav and I steadily developed our relationship, collage was going well, and slowly my stuff was being moved into her house, where I spent most of my time. My nightmares steadily decreased and things were starting to look up. Sav and I became pretty serious as a couple, but one mounting pressure wouldn't stop coming up.

"Its in three days." I looked at Sav with a worried expression. "Your family gathering is in three days and I really am not prepared to face the woman who gave me more trauma then my mother."

She watched as I paced around her kitchen, arms folded. "I won't let you out of my sight. And besides, she may not even know who you are."

I sighed and smoothed back my hair. "You may not be afraid but I am absolutely terrified. How else am I supposed to react here? I bit my top lip and rested myself against the stove. "I am not ready for this."

Sav came over to me and gently set her hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look at her. He eyes were stern, but still soft. "I know this isn't going to be easy, but with all the changes that have been made, who knows? She could be totally-"

I cut her off. "Different? Revived? Another person?" Anger started to seethe inside of me. "This isn't about her, Sav. This is about me and the fact that I am not ready to face the woman who fucked me up so bad I can't tell reality from dreams anymore. I am in therapy for what she did. She hurt me so damn bad just to get a thrill and yet..." My heart raced and I realized I was shaking. I sighed and looked down, turning away from her. "I can't. I'm sorry."

I went to walk away but I felt Sav wrap her arms gently around my waist. "I know your scared but you can't let that fear take over you. This could be a life changing moment." Her voice was soft. "I will be there the whole time, and if anything happens I promise you I will take the blame and handle the damages."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted so badly to walk away from her, but I couldn't. The woman who had helped me through my worst moments and who has given me more patience than anyone else ever did, who listened without placing blame or asking questions she knew she couldn't answer. I felt my lip quiver. You can't break over this. You know better. I couldn't face her. "Please just give me more time."

I felt her release me. "I'm sorry."

I walked away without saying another word.

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I was running. My vision was blurry. A forest? No, that sounds too cliché. Where am I? My brain is quiet but loud at the same time. My body felt sluggish but had the urge to move. To get out. I heard something behind me, prompting my burning legs to carry me faster. My heart pounded in my ears and my head felt like it was gonna explode. Don't stop running. I stumbled over a rock and fell into water. The cold shocked every bone in my body. I felt myself sinking the more I struggled. My lungs felt compressed, like someone was sitting on me, and everything started to ache. I opened my yes and saw nothing, only that I was floating. I tried one more time to surface, lungs burning and muscles dying. I felt like I could touch the air. NO. Fight it. Do something. My vision started going dark. Fight. It can't end like this. I have to...

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"N-no!" I shot up, heaving and coughing, my lungs burning.

"Hey, take it easy you're okay. Deep breaths, you're alright."

I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand. I looked around, eyes still slightly blurry. "W-what happened?"

Sav looked concerned. "I came in here to make sure you ate something and you were asleep but you were tense so I figured something was wrong."

It took a second to process what she said. "You stayed with me? For how long?"

"For about an hour. I tried to wake you but it didn't work so I figured I could just stay here until you did."

My heart sank. Guilt lodged at the front of my mind. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my nose in her neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't men to-"

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. You are afraid and that is okay. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard." Sav gently pushed her fingers through my hair. "Are you okay now?"

I nodded. "Thank you, for everything that you d for me. I really couldn't have been here without you."

I heard Sav chuckle. "I do it because I love you. If I didn't want to take part in the healing process I would have stepped out as soon as I knew."

"You don't do this because you feel responsible right?"

"Not at all. I know it was my sister, but she can make her own choices. I do hate what she did and I do feel a bit of guilt, but understand that I don't feel like I have to do this, but I know that I want to."

"I really don't understand you."

"What's there to understand?"

"Why? Why me? You could have gone with anyone else, someone much less damaged. Yet you chose me."

"I don't want to say that meeting you was fate, but I have been attached to you ever since we met. I tried, I really did, especially after learning who you really were, but no matter how hard I tried I really just couldn't stay away. I wanted you then, and now that I have you here I want to keep you around. I know the time and patience that is going to take, but I really want to keep this going between us."

I sighed. "There really isn't anything I can say to counter that with."

Sav smiled triumphantly. "Nope."

My stomach rumbled and I looked at her with a smile. "Now, about that food you promised."