Our Deadly Sins

Ch 4

A few days went by and I heard nothing from Sara. I didn't see her when I went back to class, and I officially believed she was avoiding me. Maybe its better this way..? But you don't want to believe it. Do you? I sighed and let out a growl. "get out of my head." I sunk my hands into my head and listened as I heard more. That kiss felt so nice. But was it really? You could just be touched starved and not even know it. But I really like her. Is that a good idea? You know what happened before. Anger boiled within me. "I said shut the hell up!" I sighed and stood up out of bed, needing a distraction. I turned on the TV and opened the lid to my laptop.

A knock startled me out of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and stood heading towards the door. I slowly turned the handle and pulled it open, Savannah stood awkwardly. "H-Hi" She stammered. "I came to apologize for the other day."

I was shocked. "Its okay, I was worried about you, I didn't see you on campus. Why don't you come in?" This is a bad idea.. Shut it. I moved to the side so she could come in and she walked sheepishly inside. "Abut what happened, don't worry, I was just caught off guard is all." You were afraid. You ARE afraid.

She smiled. "Thank you, I don't know what got into me. I hope it's not too awkward."

I shook my head. "Not at all, I think we can put it behind us. What have you been up to the last few days?"

She seemed more relaxed now. "Not much, class was cancelled so I spent my time studying for my other courses. What about you?"

Fighting my own head. "Oh not much either, just trying to make a living I guess."

We sat in excruciating silence for what felt like ages. Suddenly she spoke up. "So have you been seeing anyone? I mean like dating?"

Oh god why are you asking? Keep your cool, I'm sure its fine. "No not really. All the good girls are either taken or not gay." I joke.

She lets out a small laugh. "I'm not really either, I just can't seem to find the right person."

You won't find her here either. "Oh okay then, just out of curiosity why are you asking?" My tone came out a little more accusingly than I wanted.

She blushed and seemed thrown off. "N-no reason, it just seems like everyone has someone now a days, I mean even online dating is going pretty strong in this town."

I nodded, "sounds about right."

More silence.

She shifted on the couch. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"sure." We both stood and I walked to the door, letting her out and locking it before stepping out myself. The heat was a little overbearing and the sun shined bright in the sky. "It's pretty nice out today." I said, leading her down the sidewalk towards the town.

"Yea, it's kind of hot though." She stated. "I wonder if that ice cream shop is open still."

"Well lets find out."

As we walked my thoughts emerged yet again. She feels so safe. I can't put my finger on it but something about her is calming to me. You can't let yourself get so attached. She could turn out just like everyone else for all you know. You've barely talked to her. But I want to talk to her. Maybe I should try harder.

"Is everything okay? Your a million miles away over there."

I snapped out of my thoughts, Sav stared at me with a slightly worried expression. "Yeah, I'm good." I answered. "Just thinking about project deadlines and all that."

Sav smiles. What a beautiful smile. "Makes sense I have no doubt that your work can get pretty demanding."

"Yeah, when something isn't going exactly how its supposed to its always the commissioners fault." I chuckle. "I'm used to it though, there isn't a whole lot that can phase me at this point."

"I envy you. You are so carefree and can let anything bounce off your shoulders. I mean, customers yelling at you all the time, businesses demanding something they aren't owed, I can't imagine doing anything like that myself, I'd break in half."

Her words warmed up my heart. I gave a soft smile. What is this I'm feeling? Why do I feel so.. good? "It's a lot easier dealing with people over the phone. It's kind of funny sometimes to imagine what they would look like or what they would wear yelling at me. Sometimes it gets hard, but the key is understanding that you are safe, no matter what they threaten you with."

Our eyes met and a fluttery feeling rose in my stomach. Why can't I seem to pull myself away? Why do I find myself wanting more of her? "That's a good way to look at it." She said. "I still can't imagine doing anything like that myself."

We arrived at the ice cream shop and slipped through the door. The cold felt nice on my warm skin. She stood closer to me in line, almost touching me. I felt my heart beat a little faster. She's standing so close. Why do I feel so giddy all of the sudden? We both made our orders and waited to get them, still standing close. We both turned to walk away when our hands brushed together. I felt my face heat up and hoped she didn't notice. We sat down at a table by the road and watched the cars go by. "So, where are you from?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I am originally from a small town in Oregon, but I moved here to get a fresh start."

Wait.. "Oh what a coincidence, I moved up there right after high school, but I ended up moving back down here."

"Why did you? I would have thought a place like that would have been better suited for someone like you."

I struggled to find a good excuse. "I got an offer from the collage down here, and so I took it."

"Oh, okay, sounds reasonable." Her expression turned thoughtful. What is she thinking? Does she already know who I am? No. There's no way she could be in a family like that. She's so nice, and I feel safe around her. I'm overthinking this. She smiled "See something you like?"

I jumped slightly, not realizing I had been staring. "N-no there was just a really cool car behind you."

She laughed. "Uh huh, okay we will go with that." I felt my face heat up and a smile creep into my expression. I am overthinking it. It's okay.