Our Deadly Sins

Ch 9

"Are you sure you don't want to stay longer?" Sav questioned me, hinting at desperation.

"I wish I could, I have a lot of stuff I need to do. Maybe another time?"

Sav gave a hopeful smile. "I'd like that, thank you."

I pulled her into a tight hug before taking the keys to my apartment. She pulled away and gave me a loving smile before treading back to her car. I sighed heavily and walked into my apartment, shutting the door and sinking down against it. I held my head in my hands as my chest clenched and warm tears slid down my face. I want her so fucking bad. I want to stay with her. But I can't and I know I can't. If I do it'll put her in danger, especially if her sister is who I think she is. I feel so safe with her, so secure. But if she's associated with them I don't know if I could do it anymore. But she deserves to know. She deserves to know the truth.

I sobbed harder. The truth...

I sniffled and wiped my tears into my sleeve. Weakly standing up, I made my way to the kitchen for something to drink. My hand stopped on the half bottle of wine. No. It'll only make it worse. I sighed and grabbed a water bottle, plopping on the couch. I turned the TV on to drown my thoughts, regretting not picking up that wine. I looked at my phone and went to mine and Sav's chat. She deserves to know the truth...

There's something I have to tell you...

I backspaced it and groaned, sliding my head in my hands. What the hell am I gonna do..?

My chest felt tight but I lacked the energy to cry. I laid down on the couch and curled tightly into my blanket.

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I had been here for weeks at this point. My mind was gone. I did everything I was told to, hypnotically, trying to avoid punishment. Several scars and painful scabs littered my body so I wasn't allowed to go outside, she said they would think of me as ugly. My hope was gone. I had no contact with anyone except her. She was the only one. And even though she caused my injuries, she said it was my fault because I should have listened. I believed her, my sanity cracking like porcelain.

I prepared dinner in the kitchen, remembering each thing just how she liked it. She opened the door, making me jump slightly. She walked in and slid her arms around me. "Hey baby, how was today?"

I smiled back at her. "Today was good. Everything is done like you asked."

She nodded and went to check. My hands shook as I finished the food, hoping everything was up to her standards. "Hey!" She shouted from another room. My body froze. "Come in here please."

My heart slammed. Oh god I must have forgotten something. I quickly made my way to where she was, finding her staring at me angrily. "I-Im sorry I must have forgotten they were there, I was busy with dinner." I stuttered out, bowing my head.

I yelped at a sharp pain on the back of my neck, sending me to my knees. "You know the rules by now. Get in the room."

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I gasped and sat up, throwing the blanket off of me. I heaved trying to get enough breath and fumbled for my phone. My hands shook as I pressed the call button.

"H-hello?" Sav's tired voice asked.

My heart slammed painfully, making my voice shake. "I-I had another dream, c-can you come over?"

"I'll be right there. Everything will be okay."

I heard a click and pulled my knees to my chest, sobbing. I can't keep doing this. I have to tell her. It's killing me inside.

I heard the door to my apartment rattle and I got up to answer it. Sav pulled me into a hug at the doorway and ran her hand through my hair. "I came as quickly as I could, is everything alright?"

My chest hurt so bad I couldn't take it. I sobbed, my body shaking in her arms as she shushed me and tried to calm me down. She say me down on the couch and put me in her lap, rubbing my back until I regained my composure. I sniffled and wiped my nose. "I-Im sorry I didn't know who else to call."

"Hey don't be sorry, I'm glad you called me for help." Sav cooed, gently running her hands in my hair.

I shivered slightly in her arms, the nightmare playing over and over in my head. She pulled the blanket over us and sat there with me, constantly checking to make sure I was okay. I feel so safe in her arms. I don't feel like I have to struggle anymore. Even if her sister is... I have to tell her the truth and I have to try to figure this out. I can't do this alone anymore.

"Thank you for coming." I said, my voice slightly hoarse from crying.

Sav handed me water, and I took a slow drink. "Don't worry about it, you needed me and I came to help. I promised you I was gonna be there to help you and I'm not backing down on that."

I nodded. "Your the only one who knows that events like this even happen. I'm not used to having people know that I have nightmares like this."

"To be fair I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for me finding out when I was here last, but I'm glad your okay with opening up to me, even if it's just a little."

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just really hard. No one else even knows about this accept my parents and even they don't talk about it."

"I believe that you will come to me when your ready, and until then I'm going to do what I can't to support you until you feel you are able to. I'm here for you, and wether you fill me in or not that's not going to change."

I have to do it. I have to. I can't hold it anymore. "Can you stay the night?"

Sav smiled softly and nodded." I'll stay for however long I need to."

I'll tell you everything in the morning, I promise. I just need a bit more time. I laid against her as my body felt heavy. I felt her hands softly rubbing on my back to keep me calm. My body relaxed and I fell back into a deep sleep.