Perfect Escape

Chapter Two

"U wah mi fi spit in a mouth, to" Kaylee burst out this line for the hundredth time since we've being in the kitchen.

"Wah the bomboclaat Kaylee " I wipe the chewed grape off my blouse. She's so childish and disgusting at times.

"So wah ya behave so fah, nuh that the song sah" She laughs hitting the table as I glare at her.

Someone not knowing us would think we are the biggest enemies but it's actually the opposite of that. Kaylee and I grew up together since we were in diapers as I'm  only a week older than her. Alot of persons thought and still thinks we are twins as we look exactly the same. We went to the same schools all our life except for university. After high school I transitioned  to UWI while  Kay just did a short course in cosmetic to earn her certificate as she's naturally talented.

And let's not forget our homophonic last names,  Kaylee  White and Kaliyah Whyte.

"SpongeBob got a dinner with Patrick,  wonder if him want mi be Squidward"  Mommy and Daddy starts laughing  from behind making there presence known.

Even though we were so close Kaylee didn't start living with us until she was around thirteen , when Aunty Claire passed away from Cancer. With the fact that no one knows her father as Aunty Claire says he lives in the United Kingdom and she didn't know she was pregnant until she has returned to Jamaica.

A likkle one night stand something.

"So unuh find this funny  to?" I ask not slightly amused turning to face my parents.

"Sweetie as long as your happy we are hap..." Mommy sarcastically repeat the line I've been repeating constantly to them. She does not despite Crawford like Kaylee and  Daddy but he's definitely not her favorite.

"Cut that shit,  mi nuh see no form a happiness. Look here peanut mi nah live u life  fi u but Crawford nuh ready fi handle a woman like you. And mi grow u better than that, all when mi dah pon the tallest building a drive nail mi call n check pah yuh. So me expect if the boy dah a war and u call him fi a fire bullet and check if yuh gud" I smile at him even though what he's saying is a bit unrealistic it makes perfect sense.

"Right desso Uncle.  Gyal deserve princess treatment".

"Want come fling mi daughter one side like bread back " At this point everyone is finding the conversation amusing except me.

But yuh know a true dem a talk stills...

"You  guys don't get it, then why would he propose to me"

Then watch the yam fully develop in a you......

"Proposal nuh mean him love yuh, just a try keep u to himself thats all" Kay rolls her eyes as she force a handful of grapes in her mouth

"Kaylee chill " Tough love has never being my thing, but with Kaylee that's all is there.

"No but Kaliyah, look here. Shantel man graduate with him, two a them is the same rank and yes there are times when he's on camp but she see him ten days in a one week"

"Extra much" I roll my eyes playing with  my phone case.

"Ano extra but like him have different shifts so Monday him work day go home night, probably Tuesday stay home day and work night. Not like Patrick who lives on campus, not even if a did bikini bottom  to puss juk"

"Yeh he's just been busy lately, remember when he just started he wasn't like this"

"Right because unuh just meet so wah u did expect?" Assuming that's a rhetorical question, I  try to shut down the conversation.

"Look, I'll figure this out beside the wedding isn't until May next year and June is just starting"

"Well Granny sah tan and  see nuh spoil nuh dance"

"Speaking of grandma,  her lawyer will be here tomorrow to read out the will and I'm expecting both of you to be here"

"Ok Mommy "

"Wah time tomorrow Aunty Becca" Kay as cleaning out her nails with the plantain chips bag.

"Around 7 pm"

"No sah, that cannot work him nuh know sah work hours shut dung from 5 pm?"

"Do you have some where to be?" Mommy lifting a brow at her.

" yeh have a little date something?"

"At least I have a date yours is a something".

"The little ugly artist boy wah, stop ya the other day, wah him name Becca?" Daddy scratches his head as he tries to recall the name of the person he's referring to.

"Whoo skunk, boy head fava fox "

"Jesas save mi" I burst out laughing as they describe Skeng. They're not dating he's just her new client. He needed a new hairstyle but Kayle was too sick to open the shop so he came here.

"Stop deal wid the artist so" I laugh hitting the table top while Kay rolls her eyes.

Bugga yuh, tables turn....

"Alright mek we guess again, wah the one name wid the flying plaits"

"No Mommy, popcorn in love with good gyal Toni"

"Alright, wah the one name wid the old car?

" Jesas a tired a unuh, but Bri wi beat her fi Silk" By this my eyes are waterery and my nose stuffy.

"It's actually not an artist"

"Rahtid, she shuffle the bag" My parents are something else.

"So who him be?"

"Unuh really expect mi fi answer after unuh behave so"

"Well SpongeBob always in a Squidward business so start talk "

"Why can't you just ask his name?"

"Mi nah file any missing report "

"Ok fine. He owns the gym upstairs  that Liyah and I normally goes "

"Which one?"

"I said the owner Liyah "

"Then after mi nuh know who own it, the fat one or the skinny one "

"Him nuh skinny him just nuh fava muscle truck like Patrick"

"What a way you hot fi Patrick,  betta tell yuh man yuh have 7 pm curfew"

"Wait mi just a pick up a who? A the plait up hair boy wah bore him nose"

"Yes Mommy,  that same one"

"Oh him nice man , thank God ano skunk"

"Skeng Mommy, Skeng "