Island Blues and Greens- VegasPete

Chapter 14

I walk home and rush to my bedroom. Shia, I don't understand what happened.

I didn't want to offend Vegas but I can't trust him either.

What does he know about love anyway?

He was probably doing that to manipulate me. But why? Would he use me to get information from the main family? I would never do that. Ever.

I stare at myself in my dresser and see so many red marks on my body, Vegas' doing. I touch my neck and close my eyes. It's like I still feel him there. If I get manipulated, I lose.

There is no point lingering in how I feel about what we did or towards Vegas.

I admit that I feel more comfortable around him now but that doesn't mean he's a changed man. I've been working with mafias for so long now. There is no reward in betrayal. This is a world where trust is your lifeline and traitorship is death and fuck it, I don't want to die!

I set my emotions aside and take a shower before putting on a white turtleneck top to hide the marks. It's not at all cold in Thailand now but I bet it's going to be cold in that hotel we'll have dinner in. I guess Khun Kinn is rewarding Porsche and I.

The car for us arrive at my doorstep and I was escorted to sit in the backseat beside Khun Kinn.

"Khun Kinn good evening. Where is Porsche?" Huh? Why is there only the two of us?

"He's not feeling well, Pete. It's going to have to be the two of us." Khun Kinm gives me a smile.

A few days before tonight, Porsche gave me Forty Thousand Baht. He said Khun Kinn gave us a bonus and we'd have dinner a few days later in a hotel too. And that was today. I feel a bit awkward, though. I imagined Porsche to be here as well.

"Order what you want, Pete." Khun Kinn said when we reached our table. Dang it! Why isn't anyone in this restaurant? This is a hotel too so why isn't there anyone? Is the food bad? I ignore everything and just ordered, chatting with Khun Kinn every now and then before the food arrived.

The food is very tasty but I can't help but be distracted. I wonder if Vegas is still sick. Did he take the medicine?

Damn it, don't think about him, Pete! Idiot!

"Don't think about who?" Khun Kinn asks. I guess I said it out loud, then.

"Oh no one, Khun Kinn. I was just talking nonsense." I give him a toothy smile.

"Come on. You can tell me." Khun Kinn gives a comforting nod, encouraging me. Do I tell him? Isn't it weird? I'm not the type to talk to people about what's worrying me but maybe Khun Kinn has some useful advice. I sigh. I should just tell him a little bit.

"Did you always know you liked guys?" I ask him even though I'm scared he might get offended. He just rested his elbow on the arm of his chair and stroked his chin.

"Yes, I did but that doesn't mean it was easy to accept. Why?" He asks

"Khun Kinn, I-I think I like guys too." I bow down my head.

"Pete, are you having feelings for a guy?" He asks, his voice curious.

"No, I don't think so. I am not sure. I-I. I just think I'm attracted to guys too. I'm not sure if it's just that person or I just really like guys." There, I feel slightly better knowing Khun Kinn won't judge people for being gay.

"What triggered this, Pete? Someone in your life you find attractive?" He somehow sounds happy. Doesn't he know I'm so stressed out???

"Something like that." I shyly answered.