Chapter 16: Let's Figure This Out

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When I came in to help Atsuko, I was upset with the person trying to do something with her, I did want to hit him but I knew if I did it might complicate more things between me and Atsuko. She's an amazing girl and she's always kind, she helped me with the vice principal, and ever since I got to this school she's someone I want to keep close with no matter what, though I don't deserve her in my life, I want her all to myself. When she told me that she would contact me with a location, I got scared that this is where our friendship ends all because of my urges. If I didn't kiss her then things wouldn't be like this, it's not like I'm regretting that kiss, it felt like fireworks, it felt right. I was still at the school when she gave me the location, once I go it I went to my bike and started riding to the location. I get there, I notice it's a park, I see someone at the swings, just sitting there. I walk up and I know that shape, it's Atsuko. I get beside her and sit in the other seat.
"How long have you been here?" I ask her
"Not long, I live down the street from here," she tells me, and it went silent for a couple of seconds "are we going to talk about the kiss?" she asks, my eyes have a layer of water, but I don't want to cry.
"I'm sorry about that," I tell him, I'm looking at the ground "I ran away, I didn't ask consent, I apologize for that," I look at her, but she's looking at the ground, I won't lie to her anymore "but I won't apologize for my feelings," I'm still looking at her, she looks up at me, I see tears in her eyes, I get off the swing and sit in front of her wiping tears, her skin is so smooth, she smiled and grabbed my hand while crying "what's wrong?" I ask
"You're a dummy," she tells me, she's laughing and crying, "I know now," what does she mean by that?
"What do you mean?" I ask
"I'm telling you that I like you too, my heart races when you're around, I love your smile, smirk, laugh, you're always kind but sometimes you disappear which makes me feel lonely," she's telling me all of this as the tears stop falling off her face, but they start forming in mine.
I start crying, I haven't cried like this since my brother died. She's the only one who can make me feel alive, that I'm worth something. She's wiping my tears, her hands feel so soft against mine. She's so close to me. This moment feels like the first time we meet, she's always been the sunshine while I'm her protector. I grab the back of her head turn my finger in her head and bring her towards my lips, we kiss, it still feels like fireworks, the world felt like it froze. She pulled back, so I stopped too.
"What does this make us? Are we still friends?" she asks (cute <3)
"I mean friend is in the words," I tell him, I take our hands and interlock fingers "unless you think we're moving fast," I tell her
"I do think we're moving fast," she tells me "I want to know more about you, we do like each other but I don't want labels until I'm ready," she tells me
"Ask me any question," I tell her
"What's your favorite colour?" she asks
"Navy blue or red, what about you?" I ask
"Baby blue and baby pink," she says, "you ask the next question,"
"What's your family like?" I asked, and she looked upset "If you think it's too personal then we don't have to talk about it," I tell her
"No it's alright," she says "My father has a girlfriend, and the little boy at the gym was her son," she tells me, this does feel like a sensitive topic both of us
"What about your mom?" I ask
"She died two years ago," she tells me
"I'm sorry," I tell her, I grab her hand touching it softly
"What about you?" she asked
"I don't know who my dad is, my mom's depressed and," I froze and took a deep breath "and my brother is dead," I tell her
"How'd he die?" she asked
"Accident, it happened a long time ago so I didn't really understand what was happening, that's how Yasuo and I ended up as we did," I tell her, now it feels like she's comforting me.
The question kept coming but we didn't talk about each other's families again. We held hands the whole time while talking but all the tension relaxed and it was easier to talk to each other.
"I know we've been avoiding the topic of each of our families, but I want to ask when was your mother's death day?" I ask her, I know she's a very sensitive topic
"It's in two weeks today," she tells me "what about your brother?"
"Seven months," I tell her, "could I meet your mom's grave with you?" I ask
"That would be great," she smiled, her smile feels like the sun even at night.
We stopped asking questions and I drove her home (not like it was a far walk), I walked with her to the front door.
"I should get going," I tell her, she brings her ankles up and kissed my cheek, I hold my hand where she kissed as I became speechless walking away as she starts to giggle
"Goodnight Kaori," she says, I turn around and smile
I turn back around and walk towards my bike, I get on and start driving home. I get home, open the door and see my mom waiting on the couch.
"Where were you?" she asked
"I was helping my friend with something," I tell her, as I start walking towards my room
"You think a person like you can have friends?" I turn around "they'll all leave in the end," she tells me, I see alcohol on the table and keep walking towards my room.
I close my door, she always knows how to ruin my mood. She's been like this since my brother died, he was always an overachiever compared to me. I forget her and remember what happened between me and Atsuko, we feel the same, she didn't reject me, we're getting closer. I get onto my bed and fall asleep with a smile on my face, brother I found my new sun.

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