𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝, guy germaine

𝐓𝐖𝐎 | the rock cover

"THIS AIN'T NO DISCO... it ain't no country club either. This is L.A..." I let my feet keep pace as I hit my ankle against my chair on beat. It was hour two of busking on the first hot day of the summer - Wednesday, where I was due to start to work this evening.

Playing on the street is far from easy, especially at Fifth and Broadway as I was today. There's constant noise, plenty of other songs blaring out from other bars, and speakers much more powerful than my little acoustic guitar. But I think something about my soul would draw people to watch me. I'd never have a crowd, but sometimes I would have people who would stop and watch for a song, who'd come back around the block again just to see me.

I tried to tune out my audience, playing the songs I loved - songs I learned straight off the radio by ear, only knowing how to play a guitar from a book at the library I picked up one day. My mama says my ear for music is my greatest gift.

I sing too, obviously, trying my best to emulate my influences. Being a young woman, I love Shania Twain and Sheryl Crow, I love the oldies like Reba and Dolly, and I do love some of the male artists on the radio too. I just couldn't relate to men as much. Something about singing a woman's song could transport me to my big stage, playing for thousands of adoring fans as if this was the last performance I could ever give.

I try to do that every time.

"And a happy couple enters the bar... dangerously close to one another. The bartender looks up from his want ads..."
Playing music also put me further in my thoughts. All I did was think about other things while I performed, which helped me to see more clearly. But I could always see when somebody I knew was watching me, especially if that happened to be Judson.

He clapped along with my little crowd after the song, where I stopped for a drink of water just to discover it was empty already. The heat made playing hard - sweat was already dripping off my fingers. Thankfully, Judson had brought me some coffee and banana bread.

"Thank you. What'd you think?" I took the coffee and bread, having to look up at him to ask.
"...I hate Sheryl Crow, but I love listening to you, nightingale."
Judson had this habit of calling me nightingale when he caught me singing - I can't remember a time where he didn't use that name for me. I grew up singing and dancing around the house from the time I could walk and talk, it wasn't new to him.

"But really, was it good?" If anyone would be honest, it was him.
"Deserving of its own show at the Opry, as usual." He rustled my hair.
"Why are you out so early?"
"I've got to meet a guy before tonight. He wants to take out a few of the girls, and usually if they want a few, they need some sense talked into them beforehand."
Hearing him say that made sense - he was wearing his nicer leather jacket and his brass knuckles. He had a knack for sticking out in a crowd, especially for moments like these where he meant business.

While I didn't try to think about it so much because it upset me, Judson had a sort of illicit business going on. He pimped out prostitutes to make his money. Of course, he treats them better than a lot of pimps do - they get their proper cut of the money, they share his apartment - but that doesn't take away from the negative things that come around from it. He's had his girls beaten up and sexually assaulted on the street - he always goes to mess with the guy who did it, but the fact that it happened seemed unavoidable.

I think he got the idea when he got victimized on the street. When he was around my age, something happened to him. I still don't know what, I just know he only told mama and he looked beat up awful. He claims I was too young to know at the time, which was fair, as he's seven years older than me, which meant I was about eight.

After that, he decided he was never going to be the victim again, and that he would do everything in his power to protect and harbor others who "had to do what they had to do." And while he lied to my mama and my brothers about what his business truly was, I was old enough to be trusted with the information now, so I knew.