𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝, guy germaine

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 | celebrity

"HEY NOW, HEY NOW - don't dream it's over..." I sang slow, playing my guitar as if there was nothing around. Though I had again made my spot at 5th and Broadway, it was a quiet morning - very few people were on the street since it looked like it could rain any minute.

After feeling so exposed in my uniform last night, I felt like being covered today. I wore a dress like usual, but I made sure I had a cami on underneath too. Something inside of me was screaming that I needed to protect myself, and that was the only way I knew how.

That was also why I had Judson's old boots on - no matter how gross they were, they had steel toes.

As I looked around the streets more, all I could see were a few groups of kids in the USA jackets... oh God, I hoped Guy wasn't keeping them all away from me. That was the last thing I wanted, but probably the most likely scenario. Why did Judson have to ruin that? Things were going so well...

A group of the jacketed kids approached me toward the last chorus of the song, and I scanned their faces. What would you know, Guy was in the back behind them. I knew when I finished I'd have to talk to him.

As the song came to a close, the group clapped, and some started walking - Guy included.

"Guy, wait! Please, I wanna talk to you."
I watched him stop in his tracks, observing his slow turn back to face me and his hesitant steps in my direction.

"I don't know that your... friend would like that too much." He kept his voice down. "Look, I'm sorry if that's what you want to hear - I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, I should have asked and made sure you were single."
"Single? Wait a minute, Judson's my-"
"Boyfriend? Yeah, I know."
"Guy, Judson's my brother! Ew! He's just dumb and gets caught up in things he doesn't get. He thinks the world is out to get 'im."
"He waved a gun in my face, how was I supposed to guess he was your brother? You're so gentle and pretty and he's just... I don't know, a violent beast."
"I know." I sighed, taking my guitar off for a moment and going to him. "And I am so, so sorry. I yelled at him 'til I started cryin' so hard I couldn't see." My eyes started to water - no, no, I couldn't let him see I had such prevalent weakness as this. "He's been through a lot like I've been through a lot and he just can't see that people can be good. He's been taught over and over that people are cruel."
I walked away, back to my guitar so he couldn't see my tears.

"And you?"
"What about me?" I asked.
"What do you see in people?"
"...usually good. Sometimes just their pain."
I sat back on my stool and slung my guitar back on.

"Let me play you a song." I suggested. "What would you like to hear?"
"Anything you wanna play, doll." He smiled, leaning against a telephone pole.
"No, I wanna make up for what Judson did last night. I know a lot of music, try me." I teased him. I just hoped I wouldn't let him down if it was one of few I didn't know. Even if I had heard it enough to know the words, I'd know how to play it.

"Do you know any Indigo Girls? I like their stuff a lot." He smiled, acting like it was a difficult request.
"Yeah, I know some. Pick a song."
"You know 'secure yourself?'"
"You bet I do."
I took a deep breath, grabbing my pick and hoping the notes would come out without thought, like they usually did. And in those moments, it was like I was performing just for him.

It was like I was alone for a soundcheck at the Ryman with just Guy in the audience, watching him smile and hang on my every word. Even in my flashes of reality, his eyes had this look like he couldn't pull them away from me; like he never wanted to stop listening to me, watching me.

"Secure yourself to Heaven, hold on tight, the night has come. Fasten up your earthly burdens, you have just begun..."
I hadn't even noticed people had come around us, some from the team, others random - it didn't matter to me. I could feel in my heart that something serious was happening to me, though I didn't know quite what.