SJM Hard and Heavy

Feysand #3 Betrayal At It's Finest (Continuum)

"You're my mate!?" I staggered backwards some more, and actually fell off the bed, "Feyre I can explain!" Rhys shouted as I stood up and righted myself, but didn't bother to hide my nakedness, I ignored the feeling of Rhysands seed sliding down my thigh, I ignored the feeling of my nipples pebbling against the chill night air, all I could think about was the one word ringing through my mind, "oh yeah! You can explain! You can explain why I just had sex with YOU, on my wedding day, why YOU stole me away from my groom, you can explain why YOU'RE my mate!" I shouted at him, not bothering to hide the venom I laced my words with every time I said "you" I saw his face flash with hurt, but he was a monster, he left me to die under the mountain, stole me away on my wedding day, he acts like he's all high and mighty just because he's the most powerful high lord, "than explain! Rhysand!" I shouted at him wildly from across the bed, I knew I was in a vulnerable position, but my anger wasn't subsided. 

"Feyre please calm down I can explain if you would just calm down" Rhys coaxed me a little, and I realized I was being a little irrational so I calmed my breathing and sat down on the bed, "so explain Rhysand" I said again, I pulled the covers on my bed up to my chest and draped it against my legs to cover myself at least a little, Rhys didn't sit though, I heard as he paced behind me, and then finally, he spoke, "Feyre, I don't control this kind of thing, I - I'm sorry I stole you on your wedding day but I heard your cries for help, in your head, because the bond that helps us talk through our minds, isn't the bargain Feyre, that's the mating bond, I - I don't know why it' chose us Feyre, I really don't but, I'll always do whatever you think is best, I promise, so if, if you want to forget this ever happened and reject the mating bond, I'd do it for you," I heard his words, but not just as words, as a heartfelt honest confession, he would reject the bond if I asked, he would reject anything I told him to, my head wasn't sure why I knew he would do this stuff, but my heart did, my heart knows exactly why he would do this stuff for me, it's the same reason I would do it for him, because he loves me, i don't know why he loves me, but I can tell he does, "Rhys" my voice rasped in the dark room, i felt him still, "yes?" he answered, "i have a week with you, and by the end of the week i will have an answer on whether i want the mating bond or not, ok?" I heard him suck in a breath, but he whispered "thank you Feyre" and then his presence was gone. 

I washed up in the bathing room, and then tucked myself into bed, the bed felt like a cloud, my head instantly fell into the abundance of pillows, and my body was swallowed by the duvets, but I found my eyes drooping and my head feeling heavy, the events of today played over and over in my head, but I found myself falling asleep peacefully, the smell of sea and citrus flowing into my nose as i drifted quickly into a dreamless sleep.

A FEW HOURS LATER

I woke with a gasp, my breath sawed out of my lungs as I gasped and choked on the air that wouldn't leave my lungs, when I managed to breath I felt the bile in my throat rise, I gagged and dashed to the bathroom, hand over my mouth before sliding to the toilet and throwing up everything I didn't eat the day before, it was painful, but two seconds later a night kissed wind filled the room, my hair was being lifted off my sweaty spine, and a cool soothing hand was running calming circles on my back, "shhhhh" Rhys, I knew it was him, shushed me and helped me calm down, I eventually started dry heaving, nothing coming out from lack of food, but it stopped when I felt a calm presence enter my mind and soothe the part of my mind that made me throw up, my sweat turned cold as I flushed the toilet and leaned my head on the seat, I couldn't look at him, not now, not after everything that happened last night, I knew it was selfish of me, and I should thank him, but my mind didn't have words, "he did this to you" Rhys mumbled, the cold venom in his voice sent shivers up my spine, but I knew he was only saying it as my mate. 

The word still made my spine go stiff, everyone knew Rhysand to be this heartless monster, but how is he heartless if he's sitting here in a bathroom holding up my sweat damp hair rubbing my back? I felt my body start to calm down as he spoke again "Feyre, I know how bad this seems, but, I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you, it's just, you were happy with Tamlin, and I didn't want to take that happiness from you, you're amazing in so many ways Feyre, and I know you only see me as a bad person, but I promise I would never do anything to hurt you," I finally mustered the strength to turn around and look at Rhys, "why me?" I whispered, my throat raw and painful, I saw hurt flash across his eyes, but it wasn't supposed to be a hurtful question, I feel that even though he felt hurt by it he knew it wasn't supposed to be a hurtful question, "I don't know, Feyre, I really don't" his head dropped into his hands and he sighed, "Rhys, I don't know how, but I see you're not as bad as people make you, You're kind, and soft, but you do have the," I paused and chose my words wisely, "dark side, but you're not as bad as they make you seem" I let out a low breathy chuckle, "and you're good in bed" he copied my chuckle, "wait so you don't just see me as Amarantha's whore?" the question sounded so broken, "no, I don't Rhys, I can't deny I'm confused so no end on how we ended up here, the day after what was supposed to be my wedding, questioning my relationship with Tamlin, after having sex with my supposed to be enemy" he looked up at me from in between his fingers, "enemy?" I sighed yet again, "Rhys, look at you from my point of view, from my eyes, I saw you from the start as the enemy, and you just stole me from my wedding, and yeah I guess I didn't realize someone could hear me as I screamed for help in my head, but way from the beginning, you played the enemy, used my human body as an advantage to make me weak, so excuse me if I can't see you as the hero yet" I watched as his head slid back into his hands, his black hair sliding over his brow, "but" I continued, "it doesn't mean I can never see you as one" and once again his eyes slid to mine, I my view was swallowed by the violet colour of his eyes, and i found myself free falling into his mind, my body unconsciously moved closer to Rhys, until I was sitting in his lap, I hadn't even noticed he sat on the floor next to me, I just assumed he was standing, but there he was, sitting next to me on the cold bathroom tiles, in his silk sleep pants, his hair mussed and his eyes still had sleep in the corners, I noticed a shiney line from the corner of his mouth down to his chin and I burst out laughing, "what?" he asked his head cocked to the side and his hair slid with it in a comical way, "you drool in your sleep?" I said while trying to hold my laughter, my cheeks puffed and I laughed out loud as he swiped his hand across his chin, I snorted, "the most powerful High Lord in Prythian drools in his sleep" I said in amusement, Rhys scrubbed at his face in attempt to take the drool off his chin, eventually he gave up and drop his hands in defeat, chucking to himself as he shook his head, but he hung his head and looked up at me from under his brows, "oh Feyre, you are beautiful" he mumbled under his breath as he looked at me and i felt a light pink blush creep across my cheeks, Tamlin never called me beautiful, not in the way Rhys said it, with a sweet soft tone, Tamlin always said it in a tone that said he had to say it to make me happy, Rhys says it like its truth.