Duskwood: Love's Beginning

17 - Jayna

I was starting to feel codependent. If Jake was online, I was deliriously happy. If he left, I felt myself falling into deep despair. Right now, Jake was on the run, so the sadness was starting to weigh on me. At least he had admitted that he missed me as well.

It was time to discuss some things with Thomas. I pulled myself together and tried to focus on the discussion; how he saw the bracelet and Hannah ripped it away from his grasp and wouldn't discuss it with him. In some ways, his talking about his relationship with Hannah made me feel even worse. I sympathized with Thomas' pain and also his words. He was in love with a woman who was keeping secrets from him. He said she was the most important thing in the world to him, and he felt powerless. I mirrored those feelings about Jake in many ways.

My feelings for Jake grew stronger every moment. I knew little more about him than his first name and his undying affection for internet-capable devices. But I knew his heart, and it spoke to me in ways that I had never experienced before. Certainly not with Marcus, or anyone prior to him.

Even though Thomas had been doing a lot of suspicious things, I felt compassion for his situation and was perhaps more lenient than Jake would have liked. But Jake wasn't there. I was alone in this. He spoke to me about the bracelet and sent me a picture of it. The emeralds...that was a very specific gem to choose for a bracelet. In my experience, people would typically choose plain metal or diamonds for jewelry unless a specific gemstone had significance to them.

I lost that train of thought when Thomas brought up a valid point about the initials on the bracelet. J.H. Was it Jake? Is that why he was fighting so hard to save Hannah? Part of me felt that wasn't true. Despite him breaking laws with his hacking, he seemed like an honorable person. I couldn't imagine that while his girlfriend was kidnapped, he would start flirting with the stranger he enlisted to help him find her.

But he had said that our feelings weren't right. That it was "dangerous" for us to get involved. Did that have something to do with Hannah?

I sent Jake the picture of the bracelet and asked if he was J.H. but he didn't come online. I hadn't really expected anything different. I also knew that 'doubting Thomas' was suspicious of everyone, including me. I tried to put aside some of my own doubts, but it was hard. I really didn't want to get my heart crushed again.

I missed Jake. I needed to be careful, though, until I knew the nature of his relationship with Hannah. Even though I had my own past with cheating lovers, I hadn't even considered Jake held that place in Hannah's life because it was Hannah's boyfriend who reached out to me for help.

Nonetheless, Hannah deserved to be saved. I was committed to helping and would continue to do so, even if it meant breaking my heart in the process. After all, this wasn't about me or Jake. It was about Hannah.

This also meant that I had to work with Jake no matter what, because he had access to resources I could never reach on my own. Even if he turned out to be Hannah's secret boyfriend. So for Hannah, Thomas, and all my friends in Duskwood, I would continue the investigation.

Speaking of friends–like a good friend, Jessy knew I needed some cheering up. So she took me on a lovely walking tour of Duskwood. It looked like such a picturesque little town; I hoped someday soon I could go for a visit and hang out with her and the others in person.

My heart went to my throat when Jessy was attacked. Luckily I was home already because I screamed in terror so loudly that I was surprised a neighbor didn't call the police or knock on my door. I called out to Jessy, who lay still on the pavement in the dark. I was about to hang up so I could call 911 when she stirred, sat up, and shut off the phone.

I tried texting her and calling her, but she didn't answer. I went back and forth in my mind about whether I should call the police, but I knew the group was hesitant to interact with them, and I didn't want to make the situation worse for them. I had my own distrust of the police being a person of color, and having them harass me without cause. So I decided to wait until the next day when hopefully Jessy would feel well enough to let me know she was OK. Thankfully the next morning Richy texted me that he'd heard from her. I felt a little hurt that she hadn't reached out to me, but I gave her some space and went back to feeling alone.

Finally Jake came back the next evening. This was the longest he'd been offline so far. I was happy to hear from him, but my enthusiasm was relatively low. Until I knew the truth, I would keep an emotional distance. I held onto my abdomen, feeling it clench with anxiety.

Jake told me he had not been in a relationship with Hannah. Relief flooded me, and I told him as much. He responded with his signature :) and I hugged my now-calm abdomen. There was still a chance for us...

Then he joked about my name starting with J too! I laughed out loud in surprise. I wanted so badly to be with him in person right now, telling him how glad I was that he came back. Be careful with your heart, I reminded myself. For all the good it would do.